Nov 21, 2005

On Sale now: Shit on a stick!

This crappy thing happened a couple of days ago. I was trying to work on an ad. I did two alternatives so that the client would not bitch about him having little to choose from. It had great lines, by the way. Please, someone, pat me on my back. Good copywriter. Now play dead. Woof.

I sent them in, thinking I had it bagged. Boing! Lotto winner in the house!!!

Wrong. The client responded with that great line: please put the logo as a header. WHAT? Wait, wait! I can do more lines, my friend! Give me a couple of hours. I can make it better, I whined. Ok. Try again, asshole copy. I scratched my left buttock for 45 minutes. Came up with better lines. Nope. I want the logo, they said.

My answer? "How big do you want it?"

Hey, I tried. I have been at this for quite a while to know that I can fight back the Evil Doers (Screw Bush with a rusty harpoon, by the way) but hey, it's their ad. If they want to fuck it over big time, I just let it happen. It's their ad, it's nothing personal. I might disagree, but I'm not fighting it anymore. I get paid, the ad runs... I get home and watch Letterman. Simple, easy.

I learned this from a great designer a few years ago. I was crying home to mama telling everybody "this client is sooo wrong by doing this". He said, in his wonderful gay tone, "look girlfriend, if they want shit, you just put a nice golden bow on it and let it slide. Pick and choose your battles. Try to get your point across. If he or she can't see it, fuck it. Do the damn job, move on to something else." That man is as brilliant as chocolate cake with whipped cream on the side.

Look guys, don't fight it. You will get grey hairs if you keep whining about every client that shits on your beautiful ad. They pay for this. Just go home and have a laugh tomorrow, when you see your butchered ad. At least it published! Drinks are on me.


joker said...

Some clients have a decent IQ, some are even brilliant, but unfortunately cromagnons still plod around the Earth and they live near you... and they breed. So by all means, don't pay too much attention, smile, think happy happy thoughts and let them rot in their poo on a stick. They deserve no less.

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