Why are people in advertising so fucking happy?

Smiling, dancing, jumping bumbling idiots. People that have never lived in your area and are just designed to be in stock photography for your local credit card company or banking firm. What a fucking crock.

Have you ever been that frigging happy to go to the bank? Has the service of any bank changed your life to such a point where you have to jump for joy and hug everything in sight, including that unruly bum that insists on screaming at the ground for not being softer? Have you ever ejaculated or had a multiple orgasm due to lower interest rates, better financing options, or a more convenient savings account? Of course you haven’t. Therein lies the beauty in advertising. We sell bullshit, we know it’s bullshit, yet it seems to be effective and banks always ask for that smiling dufus holding a candy cane while dancing salsa…

I hate banking advertising because it’s so hypocritical, but if I need to hate something more, then it’d have to be pharmaceuticals. Yes jump for joy, your diarrhea has stopped!! HOORAY, I’ve controlled my yeast infection! WOOHOOO!!! I CAN GET A HARDON… wait a minute; that one is actually kind of accurate. But why do people smile so much when they are able to deal with their allergies or lower their cholesterol. I’d be glad, but hell, seeing some of the unruly side effects one has to endure to “enjoy life again”, it makes you think that another side effect is psychotic euphoria or simple hallucination.

Then you have the people who have to have the biggest kick ass party, when they drink soda. PUH-FUCKIN-LEASE. I drink this soda so I’m extreme; I drink that soda so I’m in; I drink this soda, because I’m an individual, and that’s the soda an individual drinks. Yeah screw personal taste and product quality. We need image. And guess what? It works. People gobble up this shit and are molded into consuming the product that better reflects their ideals in advertising. Is this the case always? No, but look at the numbers and realize that there aren’t less advertising agencies than before. We have a job because this works, but it’s annoying to see some consumers be so gullible especially when you’re advertising a shitty product you don’t believe in. Oh well, maybe that’s why we suck as well, but at least I have a job and I’m not making people jump for joy at their anal leakage, causing them kidney stones and diabetes with their favorite soft drink or asking them to smile while I ram 30%+ interest rates up their asses.