The Art of Ninja Jobs

Have you ever heard a feather fall on the ground? Have you ever counted the snowflakes in a blizzard? Have you ever killed someone with a grain of sand? Have you ever taken a ketchup stain off a white shirt? If any of these answers is a yes, then good for you, but you are still no match for the art of Ninja Jobbing.

Ninja Jobs are performed by Job Ninjas and although it might only seem the words are switched, grammar and etymology show that it is just as important as the age old question of who came first, the chicken or the egg (shame on those who thought of any sexual connotation). Job Ninja’s are highly skilled Traffic Personnel that place time sensitive self destructive Ninja Jobs on your desk without you even realizing it and before you know it, BOOM, you’re dead.

If you hear a pitter-patter of feet you are doomed; if a piece of paper seems to have a breeze hitting it you’re dead; if your office temperature suddenly drops by .724 Kelvin or if a paper clip is aimed at you, sorry my friend, you aren’t going to make it.

These seasoned veterans know all the tricks. General shape shifting? Done. Job Shuriken skills? A given. Smoke screens? You betcha. Their arsenal is vast and deadly for all unsuspecting creatives that happen to fall in their path and still be naïve enough to not believe that they are capable of screwing you. Secret due dates are imprinted to make you think you just misplaced the job, but uh-uh, you didn’t, because you’d never even seen the job. The problem is that Job Ninjas also happen to be extremely skilled in hypnosis and like a feeble puppet, you have no choice but to obey the will of the strings.

They might look harmless or even clueless. They might say they have children and hire midget actors to play the part. They might have nice bangs and enjoy two sugars with their coffee, BUT DON’T BE FOOLED. They are Job Ninjas and you ARE on their to do list my friends. So be well, be careful, and beware the wrath of the Job Ninja…