Come on, you can do it. Stop that sarcastic laugh. This thing is totally possible. Really.
Just focus on your work, and try to manipulate every lazy ass testicle scraper coworker you have near to help you achieve this wonderful thing. Manage your time correctly. Don't waste any moment. Just gather all up the jobs you have out there, figure out the real from bogus deadlines, do them and go home.
Here's a list of things I highly recommend to do, choose wisely:1) Have a drink at home - cheaper than a bar.
2) Rent a movie - please, make it a good one. If I catch you watching some Wedding Date or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days crap I will personally go to your house and bitch slap you silly.
3) Shave your privates and take a polaroid of them - just to see what happens.
4) Invite some friends over and play dominoes or a cool ass XBox game.
5) Go walk your dog or pet your asshole cat who really doesn't care that you're home (dogs rule!).
6) Have Ungodly Sex - then tell us what happened on Monday here at the blog.
7) Go to Borders, Barnes and Noble or the all time great Virgin Mega Store and buy a cool book.
8) Have a Happy Ending Massage by either a Sicilian Hunk or a Japanese Chick. Just remember to go to the ATM first.
9) Go at night to your ad agency and pee at the door - it will be our inside joke.
10) Buy a sex toy and make the battery last only 24 hours - no anal beads. We don't want you going to the doctor on Monday from some weird bowel syndrome.
Whatever. Just do it at the best place in the world: your house.
Besides... leaving early or on time is better than any drink or beer known to man.
1 comments:
My best friend did #9 for me once, but he peed on my boss's private parking space!
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