Slogans you’d like to see

• Coca-Cola, It’s totally worth the kidney stones.

• Durex, you know you want to cum inside.

• Budweiser, from saintly to slutty in just four beers.

• Everlast, because you know hitchhikers always get killed in scary movies.

• Marlboro, it might kill you but what are you going to do after sex? Eat tofu?

• Krispy Kreme, the new answer to PMS.

• Burger King, what Nicole Ritchie is missing out on.

• Mac & Cheese, easier to do than Paris Hilton

• Ford F-150, compensate for a small penis the manly way

• Tic-Tac, because some people smell like they gave a camel a rim job

• Taco Bell, a high colonic in a hard or soft shell.

• Tom tom, only a product named like a man would never have to ask for directions

• Johnnie Walker, because sometimes you need to cope with not getting a blowjob

• Cuervo Gold, making hoes out of catholic school girls for over a century

• Ruth Chris’ Steakhouse, because sometimes you can’t help but want to be stuffed with meat.

• Broken windshield, chemical warfare, hostage situation? Count on the brand you can trust, Duct Tape

• Samuel Adams, because on the 7th day, God wanted a real beer.

• Johnson and Johnson Baby oil, because if you get a hand job, you want it done right.

• Sony, coming up with more shit to spend your check on.

• PS3, bathing has ceased to be a priority.

• Clamato, part of a well balanced hangover.

• Coach, for the financially endowed yet fashionably unsound.

• TiVo, sorry guys, no excuse to not fuck on Sunday anymore.

• K-Y Jelly, oh yes it fits.

And..

• Why Advertising Sucks, Agency subterfuge for the professional satisfaction impaired.