Oct 3, 2006
So let’s get a few things clear. I drive a grandma car and guess what? I also happen to drive like one. I obey the law like a good little boy scout and have avoided driving under the influence for a full year because I’d rather not tempt fate into donkey punching me. I pay my taxes, I do my best to be courteous on the highway and I’m a full-blown defensive driver. So what are my thanks? A ticket on my car’s windshield this morning for “obstructing traffic”. Wanna know what the kicker is? I was parked in front of my house. Wanna know the other kicker? If I park it in the driveway I also get a ticket for obstructing the sidewalk.
Hence this post. You really have to love a system that is designed to thwart your every ounce of will to be a good person. Have a busted taillight? Tough shit. Were you going 47 in a 45? Bad boy. More and more each day I feel less and less safe with more and more cops. Really, from the workplace to my house I have to see at least ten patrol cars and please don’t think I’m exaggerating, because sadly, I am not. You know why I don’t feel safe? Because there has been a steady increase in cops yet a drastically declining rate of quality police officers on the street. Don’t believe me? Then by all means push your accelerator a bit more and get pulled over just to see what the officer’s reading level is. Parking tickets and speeding tickets are at an all time high while drug traffic, murders, rapes and assaults are also steadily climbing. Trust me, if I see a drastic increase in the amount of police officers on the street, the last correlation I want to see with this increase is boosted crime and punishment for those mildly infracting the law or those who at least in my case, are check mated by a dimwit system designed to skew the odds against anyone dumb enough to parlay his/her hard earned money on good will.
Am I saying there are too many cops? Yes. Because most of them suck. The other day a co-worker was graced with the opportunity of seeing a horrendous accident where luckily no one was injured. Think metro bus meets Honda with faulty breaks. Everyone was lucky, well except the cunt in the patrol car that looked at the accident and continued on her way, probably late for her date with some pastry to contribute to her already full figure. She wasn’t lucky, she was just a bitch. Am I saying there are a lot of mediocre officers on the street? I’ll take it a step further. There is way too much mediocrity in most industries. Law enforcement just happens to have been the case in point for this morning’s post. Am I saying there are no good cops that do not have an iota of logical thinking in their pursuit for justice? Not at all. I’ve even met officers I consider highly gifted people who day in day out bust their balls (or ovaries) protecting and serving like a real cop should. Ignoring the car parked in the yellow line to stop and ask why that guy is carrying an Allen wrench and some pliers at 8:00 AM in a parking lot. But sadly, these people are not the norm, as are most people who try to genuinely do good in such career circles.
Instead of people with talent, taste and manners, we are offered people with deficient communication skills, problems with aggression, substance abuse, and a massive inferiority complex where even if you drive a piece of shit car, you are pulled over just for the hell of it while some asshole is doing 90 in a school zone. Instead of being able to drive safely, women are subject to being pulled over so an officer can “scope out the scene” (real story) and maybe get her phone number. Instead of feeling safer, I feel like I’ve got yet another enemy on the road whom I have to watch out for. Great. Like I needed yet another fucknut to worry about.
Day after day I just see things getting worse all around and for today at least, the focus is on the boys and girls in blue, because sadly they blow. To any and all good cops out there, thanks for breaking the norm and making the streets a bit safer. To all you uniformed assholes, guess what? You are just like the Police Academy movies. Except that while those guys knew how to bust a funny joke, you guys are simply a joke. I hope you bite into a stale donut and bad coffee.
Posted by Joker at 12:12 PM