Aug 19, 2012

Guilty Pleasures volume 1: The Warriors

Every so often, there is a movie written terribly, possesses a variety of goofs and messups, is crappily acted, and possesses enough Magic Kool Aid to make you forget any worth while Oscar Winning performance.

Enter the first of a long list of shitty movies I can actually enjoy: The Warriors. Plot? Like it needed one, but here it is in a nutshell. All the gangs from New York are called upon to convene at a park in the Bronx. A speech is given by a guy who looks so much like WWF’s The Rock, you’ll be surprised he doesn’t say: “Can you smell what the Cyrus is cooking?” (by the way, I still call it the WWF because I don’t care about the lawsuit). Evidently bypassing the fact that it never occurs to these guys to jack a car, they have to get from the Bronx down to Coney Island (a long bridge and the entirety of Manhattan) pretty shitty deal when everyone thinks you’re the ones responsible for the murder of the biggest boss in all of Lala Gangland.

A compelling albeit cheesy soundtrack rocks Roquefort style and a variety of WTF gangs come in between the Warriors and their beloved Coney Island. This along with B movie actors I’ve actually had the pleasure of seeing in other crap movies make for a crap fest you can’t miss. It embodies the true definition of a cult classic. It’s a bad movie, with bad actors, bad lighting, bad editing, bad storytelling and you can’t help but love the steaming pile.

Think Clockwork Orange without a brain. Sprinkle in some shitty outfits, some shittier hairstyles and you just can’t help but want to ….. come out and play…..Warrriors…. come out to playyyyyyyyyy….. WARRRIORSSSS come OUT to playayayayayyyyyyy

This is one of dozens of crap movies I can’t help but enjoy. I’m sure I’m not the only one. So please fellow suckas and suckerettes… share the crap and let us unite… CAN YOU DIG ITTTTTTTT????????

Originally posted on 10/27/06


Me said...

Cobra: Bad music. Bad acting. Awesome in every second. Mario Cobretti is my man, dammit.

Commando: Terrible Accent. Annoying characters. Crappy story. You can save me any day, Arnold.

Big Trouble in Little China: Horrible effects. Really bad acting. Kurt Russell, anyone? But. If someone even utters a bad thing about this one I would be required to hunt and kill them myself.

Joker said...

Good news, two of those movies are on the list... :D Going full post on this sister Me. :D


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