Some people might write this off as an easy question to answer but you know what? I don’t want to give the benefit of the doubt to the exec this time. I don’t want to give the easy answer that a good person got tainted by a shitty account and I want to put things in perspective to see if I can get one valid explanation of how an account gets so hard to deal with.
Besides the point that I’m faced with working an account that makes cleaning and shoveling generous amounts of poo look like a glorious job, I’m faced with a dilemma over to accept that the account is incorrigible or if the exec is. I’ve always given the benefit of the doubt to execs because as much of a creative asshole as I can be, I actually worked briefly assisting an exec. I also worked briefly in media, traffic, and have even dome some production lackeying. I lived for a brief portion of my life what an exec lives and that’s why I always do my best to be responsible, keep to due dates, try to not let job details slip by me and give 110% even if I hate the job, because hey, just like shoveling shit, it pays the bills o I’m not one to bitch.
Accounts are a tricky thing and the reasons for making it so difficult to handle could stem from the company itself, specific members from the client crew, or you guessed it, your own company’s exec who handles the account. Worst of all is when you have all three things to deal with. But think about this now, what if the company was ok, the client a cool cat, and the product or brand something you’d enjoy working on. Could it still be possible that the work would make you crazy? The answer of course is… well of course. If you have a dick exec or an inefficient person dealing with the account, you can definitely count on three headaches a week thanks to said account.
It’s frustrating really. I want to be part of a team but people insist on making things even more difficult and from an initial buddy, buddy position, relations quickly sour, and a once friendly exec turns to the dark side of the advertising debate and you become a nemesis. Regardless, asshole execs and asshole accounts shall forever be part of the equation. And Just like the chicken and the egg existential debate, I don’t really give a fuck who came first or who goes last, I just wish shit a bit more friendly.
Jul 5, 2006
The WAS SWOT
I have seen many SWOTs in my day. In fact, I hate them with all my heart. If there is one part of the presentation which I gag from, it's usually this. Maybe it's because I've known one or two persons who live by this shit, I don't know.
Well, here's my version of a damn SWOT. I hope I got everyone's places right, if not, by all means correct me. Ha, make a revision. Come on guys, send me your SWOTs! Share with us how mad or bad is it from your end. Maybe you could send your CEO's swot, your Creative Director's swot. Anyone you want. Enjoy.
Well, here's my version of a damn SWOT. I hope I got everyone's places right, if not, by all means correct me. Ha, make a revision. Come on guys, send me your SWOTs! Share with us how mad or bad is it from your end. Maybe you could send your CEO's swot, your Creative Director's swot. Anyone you want. Enjoy.
Say it with me: I love my job.
First of all, a word of caution. This video is disgusting. I mean, it maybe makes you want to hurl, I don't know. I just had to put this video because it has a point in there somewhere. Disgusting, yes. But valid also.
It only took almost 7 minutes of my time. In fact, I had quit fidling around with the blog, and actually was thinking about popping some sleeping pills and try to go to bed. I think it was something that made me look for this video. Something divine, from up above. But, ladies and gentleman, after watching this video I decided:
1) I will love working with all the most assholish Creative Directors there are. They can make me do anything they want, copycat an ad, destroy a great concept. Even better, I'm willing to announce at the whole world that it was his sole idea, I was just helping him type.
2) I will make changes on a stupid ad for hours at end, smiling and singing. Yes, I will not mind if you want the logo 1 inch to the left and bigger. Yes, I will write you a jingle to go with it. Would you like for me to check the radio spot that the client wrote so it fits in 30 seconds?
3) I will accept a overdue job and hug my traffic director when she hands it to me. In fact, I will ask to do all the jobs that are due for tomorrow and even today. I have all the time in the world for them. Even if I have to stay up all week, the jobs will be done. And of course, you can give me late changes as I finish them, I will not care if I have to redo them.
4) I will gladly kiss the ass of any CEO for hours at end. I'll even wear Chapstick so I don't hurt his skin. I'll go to every single company reunion, specially if it's those team building types that lets you fall backwards unto your coworkers and sing "kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya".
5) I will not ever, ever come in 5 minutes late. I will always want to work on holidays, weekends and long hours.
6) I will love when my Account Director yells that my ad isn't witty, doesn't go with the SWOT, has no brand equity, or that the unique selling proposition isn't there. In fact, I will gladly hear him/her out on their ideas on the ad, and will gladly write them for them.
Mike Rowe, you have given me, for at least a day, a love for my job which I didn't have before.
It only took almost 7 minutes of my time. In fact, I had quit fidling around with the blog, and actually was thinking about popping some sleeping pills and try to go to bed. I think it was something that made me look for this video. Something divine, from up above. But, ladies and gentleman, after watching this video I decided:
1) I will love working with all the most assholish Creative Directors there are. They can make me do anything they want, copycat an ad, destroy a great concept. Even better, I'm willing to announce at the whole world that it was his sole idea, I was just helping him type.
2) I will make changes on a stupid ad for hours at end, smiling and singing. Yes, I will not mind if you want the logo 1 inch to the left and bigger. Yes, I will write you a jingle to go with it. Would you like for me to check the radio spot that the client wrote so it fits in 30 seconds?
3) I will accept a overdue job and hug my traffic director when she hands it to me. In fact, I will ask to do all the jobs that are due for tomorrow and even today. I have all the time in the world for them. Even if I have to stay up all week, the jobs will be done. And of course, you can give me late changes as I finish them, I will not care if I have to redo them.
4) I will gladly kiss the ass of any CEO for hours at end. I'll even wear Chapstick so I don't hurt his skin. I'll go to every single company reunion, specially if it's those team building types that lets you fall backwards unto your coworkers and sing "kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya".
5) I will not ever, ever come in 5 minutes late. I will always want to work on holidays, weekends and long hours.
6) I will love when my Account Director yells that my ad isn't witty, doesn't go with the SWOT, has no brand equity, or that the unique selling proposition isn't there. In fact, I will gladly hear him/her out on their ideas on the ad, and will gladly write them for them.
Mike Rowe, you have given me, for at least a day, a love for my job which I didn't have before.
Jul 4, 2006
Just Press Play.
Um. Ok. If anyone can tell me if there is a cohesive story in this video, I'll gladly appreciate it. I just love high pitched screams... specially if they are coming from this dude.
WAS Request Line: Killing Phil Schieber
I got this request for us to post this link at our website. I read it. Beware. Click at the name of the post to go there.
Jul 3, 2006
Things I want
Some people want world peace. Others want a million dollars. Some want to fuck every single woman in the world. But me? My list is a little bit different.
I want a spider sense that determines when an account exec is on his or her way to deliver great news. I want to do the jedi mind trick so for once the client gives everyone at the agency a well deserved blow job. I want 30 copies of Samara’s tape to include in a couple of fruit baskets. I want the car from Christine so I can leave it at the Valet Parking that always scratches cars. I want Stephen King to spoon with some of the people that get on my nerves. I want the Ask a Ninja’s ninja to go ninja on some people’s ninja. I want a pony so I can feed it cabbage and gorgonzola cheese for when I let it crap all over clients Persian rugs. I want a 4 day work week. I want a 3 day coffee break. I want good commercials and better programming. I want smart responsible politicians and dumb drug dealers. I want to take poorly written jobs and turn them into self destructing documents from Inspector Gadget. I want my own cereal. I want to be McGyver so no matter the situation I can get out of it with an Avocado, two rubber bands, rotten dairy creamer and Dasani water. I want to force feed three liters of Diet coke along with four Mentos pack to every shitty driver that pisses me off. I want to save the whales, save the penguins, save the trees and fuck congress. I want twenty lobbyists against a wall to do a real twenty gun salute. I want a glass of wine, expensive sushi and cheap videogames. I want shitty movies to be moved to another theater. I want soccer moms to stop wearing navel rings. I want soccer kids to stop wearing high heels and makeup, girls AND boys. I want gay people to get married if they want to. I want smokers to smoke if they want to. I want conservatives to be exposed to 24 hours of pornography, 20 hours of real music, and one second of reality. I want tree hugging liberalists to stop bitching about everything. I want more time to surf, more time to write, more time to eat ice cream and more time to practice the baby making horizontal cha-cha. I want to celebrate Chinese New Year, Hanukah, Easter, St Patrick’s and Kwanza. I want to beat a mime up. I want to find Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse and kiss it. I want to see Pearl Jam live at the beach. I want Scott Stapp to get the shit kicked out of him again by the skinny rapper from 311. I want the singer of AFI to kiss all the confused boys that jerk off to him. I want a 6,000 GB iPOD set on smart shuffle that knows what to play and when. I want to cut the hair of the singer of Cohede and Cambria. I want to shake Jack Johnson’s hand. I want to tea bag the Queen of England. I want to run naked in the Vatican and I want to give the new pope the Nazi handshake. I want to do the truffle shuffle. I want high caf, low cost coffee. I want everyone in the world to have a decent meal 3 times a day and I want my quality time with my quality friends.
I’m a guy who wants a lot of things in a lot of ways and no matter the day, the mood, the work load or the job shafting I’m getting, I’ll always have lots to say.
Cheers
joker
I want a spider sense that determines when an account exec is on his or her way to deliver great news. I want to do the jedi mind trick so for once the client gives everyone at the agency a well deserved blow job. I want 30 copies of Samara’s tape to include in a couple of fruit baskets. I want the car from Christine so I can leave it at the Valet Parking that always scratches cars. I want Stephen King to spoon with some of the people that get on my nerves. I want the Ask a Ninja’s ninja to go ninja on some people’s ninja. I want a pony so I can feed it cabbage and gorgonzola cheese for when I let it crap all over clients Persian rugs. I want a 4 day work week. I want a 3 day coffee break. I want good commercials and better programming. I want smart responsible politicians and dumb drug dealers. I want to take poorly written jobs and turn them into self destructing documents from Inspector Gadget. I want my own cereal. I want to be McGyver so no matter the situation I can get out of it with an Avocado, two rubber bands, rotten dairy creamer and Dasani water. I want to force feed three liters of Diet coke along with four Mentos pack to every shitty driver that pisses me off. I want to save the whales, save the penguins, save the trees and fuck congress. I want twenty lobbyists against a wall to do a real twenty gun salute. I want a glass of wine, expensive sushi and cheap videogames. I want shitty movies to be moved to another theater. I want soccer moms to stop wearing navel rings. I want soccer kids to stop wearing high heels and makeup, girls AND boys. I want gay people to get married if they want to. I want smokers to smoke if they want to. I want conservatives to be exposed to 24 hours of pornography, 20 hours of real music, and one second of reality. I want tree hugging liberalists to stop bitching about everything. I want more time to surf, more time to write, more time to eat ice cream and more time to practice the baby making horizontal cha-cha. I want to celebrate Chinese New Year, Hanukah, Easter, St Patrick’s and Kwanza. I want to beat a mime up. I want to find Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse and kiss it. I want to see Pearl Jam live at the beach. I want Scott Stapp to get the shit kicked out of him again by the skinny rapper from 311. I want the singer of AFI to kiss all the confused boys that jerk off to him. I want a 6,000 GB iPOD set on smart shuffle that knows what to play and when. I want to cut the hair of the singer of Cohede and Cambria. I want to shake Jack Johnson’s hand. I want to tea bag the Queen of England. I want to run naked in the Vatican and I want to give the new pope the Nazi handshake. I want to do the truffle shuffle. I want high caf, low cost coffee. I want everyone in the world to have a decent meal 3 times a day and I want my quality time with my quality friends.
I’m a guy who wants a lot of things in a lot of ways and no matter the day, the mood, the work load or the job shafting I’m getting, I’ll always have lots to say.
Cheers
joker
Monday, Bloody Monday!!
Another fucking Monday and another bloody dollar as we whore ourselves to the highest bidder or the most convenient employer. The weather sucks, people driving suck, work sucks, advertising sucks and yes, some fuckface just happened to need to make it better and kick things up a notch by being coy, and cute, and well, stupid... oh yeah he/she sucks too.
Some people fascinate me with their willingness to be assholes, and their talent at being so. This afternoon, during my attempt to relax over tea, voila, tithair muncher decided to offer some chit-chat via dumb fuck comments that obviously get on my nerves because my 4th of July fireworks show will be conducted by the comfy confines of my corporate cell. All this because he/she is not having a good hair day and they needed to bring someone else down to not be so lonely. I’m baffled at why people are so impressed at my despondent pessimistic outlook for reality. With empirical evidence of how much people suck offered on a daily basis, I think I should be entitled to at least one justified murder a year. Hell, we could even make it a lottery where the top 20 assholes have to go on a reality TV show of my making and the winner gets to drown in his own shit. During the show, they will all be submitted to embarrassing lessons to show them why they suck as people and in search of turning a frown upside down, especially if it’s by crucifying their asses facing Brisbane.
Think about it, the ratings, the sweeps, the content, the tailor made commercials to fit the people who watch. Yeah. That’s nice, and I’d get rich, and I would start liking Mondays, because thanks to them I got rich. But for now, I can only glare at the people who piss me off while I determine the first 8 events of my reality TV show and my future taking over of the world. Come Binky, there is much to do.
Some people fascinate me with their willingness to be assholes, and their talent at being so. This afternoon, during my attempt to relax over tea, voila, tithair muncher decided to offer some chit-chat via dumb fuck comments that obviously get on my nerves because my 4th of July fireworks show will be conducted by the comfy confines of my corporate cell. All this because he/she is not having a good hair day and they needed to bring someone else down to not be so lonely. I’m baffled at why people are so impressed at my despondent pessimistic outlook for reality. With empirical evidence of how much people suck offered on a daily basis, I think I should be entitled to at least one justified murder a year. Hell, we could even make it a lottery where the top 20 assholes have to go on a reality TV show of my making and the winner gets to drown in his own shit. During the show, they will all be submitted to embarrassing lessons to show them why they suck as people and in search of turning a frown upside down, especially if it’s by crucifying their asses facing Brisbane.
Think about it, the ratings, the sweeps, the content, the tailor made commercials to fit the people who watch. Yeah. That’s nice, and I’d get rich, and I would start liking Mondays, because thanks to them I got rich. But for now, I can only glare at the people who piss me off while I determine the first 8 events of my reality TV show and my future taking over of the world. Come Binky, there is much to do.
Would you rather be here?
Ed (that was what we agreed on calling you, right?) sent in this lovely picture of Kailua Bay, Oahu, Hawaii. Um... does it have a bar near? Just kidding. I love beaches. Beats going to my office and taking stupid calls all day long. Shit. I have to work tomorrow.Mommy, can I stay here at the bar and hang out a little more? But it's happy hour!
Oh well. Ok.
Jul 2, 2006
"Sometimes you just gotta say: What the Fuck"
Yes, that was a bit of Risky Business for you.
I sometimes forget how powerful a statement is that specific line. You just have to do it sometimes. A big what the fuck, and move on. Being worried sometimes is stupid. I mean... think about it. All the time you spend worrying that you can invest in other things. Good friends, good food, hanging out with your family, whatever. You lose that valuable time. No way!
I am the first one that will tell you that I worry too much from time to time. The funny thing is? I didn't use to be like that. I think age and situations have made me want to be more careful about stuff. But all the time I spend thinking and wondering... oh well, not anymore. Life is short and then you die. So, live happy and forget about your worries. In time, they will dissapear.
AE got you all riled up about changes? What the fuck. Do 'em and shit all over your precious ad. You can always say it wasn't you who did the ad.
Creative Director wants you to copy an exact same ad but for your country. What the fuck. It's his shitty idea, let him fall from grace when the truth gets out. You can always say he made me do it.
Client wants a bigger logo? What the fuck. Do it twice as big. At least you will laugh you ass off when you see it published. Besides, you will get paid anyway.
This last one is for my gal pals: Boyfriend giving you a headache? What the fuck. There's someone out there who loves you with all his heart, trust me. In the end, the headache dude will find out what a major mistake he did, and he will learn this when it's really too late.
I gotta go now. Gonna do the Risky Business dance. Yes, in men's underwear.
I sometimes forget how powerful a statement is that specific line. You just have to do it sometimes. A big what the fuck, and move on. Being worried sometimes is stupid. I mean... think about it. All the time you spend worrying that you can invest in other things. Good friends, good food, hanging out with your family, whatever. You lose that valuable time. No way!
I am the first one that will tell you that I worry too much from time to time. The funny thing is? I didn't use to be like that. I think age and situations have made me want to be more careful about stuff. But all the time I spend thinking and wondering... oh well, not anymore. Life is short and then you die. So, live happy and forget about your worries. In time, they will dissapear.
AE got you all riled up about changes? What the fuck. Do 'em and shit all over your precious ad. You can always say it wasn't you who did the ad.
Creative Director wants you to copy an exact same ad but for your country. What the fuck. It's his shitty idea, let him fall from grace when the truth gets out. You can always say he made me do it.
Client wants a bigger logo? What the fuck. Do it twice as big. At least you will laugh you ass off when you see it published. Besides, you will get paid anyway.
This last one is for my gal pals: Boyfriend giving you a headache? What the fuck. There's someone out there who loves you with all his heart, trust me. In the end, the headache dude will find out what a major mistake he did, and he will learn this when it's really too late.
I gotta go now. Gonna do the Risky Business dance. Yes, in men's underwear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
