Aug 9, 2007

I need some cream for this itchy rationale

Ok now that I have gotten the nice guy posts out of the way, back to my typical “I-hate-clients-can’t-stand-hack-executives” behavior. Just so you don’t go getting the idea that I don’t get angry anymore, or that nothing pisses me off anymore, or that heaven forbid I don’t have to face moronic shit that makes me want to rip someone’s face off with a cheese grinder.

That being well established, to further elaborate how strongly burn the fires of Chef Joker, I pose one question, is a client’s rationale non negotiable? Because it pretty much seems as if it is. Actually; is any rationale not developed by creative EVER negotiable? It’s as if we creative monkeys can only execute brilliance within the target specific parameters offered by the client. What this really seems to mean though is that quite often we’ve seen what the competition is doing and the people the competition is speaking to and think they’re on the right path so why not make a spin-off of what they’re doing. It’s like playing tag with a double amputee; kind of cruel, doesn’t really make sense though it can at least make you laugh.

Seriously, is it that hard to come up with a rationale that isn’t irrational and isn’t a carbon copy of the instructions given to the other companies creative team? Apparently so. Honestly, I’ve read quite a fair share of rationales and you can easily tell which were made while really focusing on the market, and which ones were copy paste from the last campaign for that specific product and actually, they sometimes forget to take the original date off the documents, but then WE’RE the ones who suck if we’re almost forced to produce something lame.

Really the only thing a rationale isn’t is rational. Everything is broken into ambiguous demographics and then the hackneyed campaign you develop is taken to a bogus focus group that is designed and selected to promote or destroy the campaign.

“Bleh bleh bleh, our results demonstrate that bluh bluh bluh. Actually if you change this word it’ll be more blah blah blah. Well now that we think about it, it’s really a classic case of blah blih ba buttery boo.”

Fuck clients and their shit rationales, if you’re so rushed to make a campaign why don’t we start on the right fucking leg rather than stumble because everything’s rushed and halfassed, beginning with the rationale.

“But no, we need to launch this week because if not, the quarter will offer us a week less of exposure.”

Really? Then why the flying fuck do we have to spend two weeks in revisions while only having two-four days to come up with a campaign. Why is everything so rushed except what is owed by the client? What? Follow up only goes one-way? Blow me. Blow me with maple syrup and grape jelly in your mouth you irrational puppet. Go tell Gepetto to stop snorting saw dust long enough to see if you can’t get some more productive orders since thinking for yourself is definitely not an option.

“Oh but Joker, it’s unfair to blame the client. They’re just following orders.”

Exactly and so were Nazi soldiers.



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