Sep 7, 2007

Oh joy, powertrips

Lets be honest, each living waking moment in an office is the equivalent to chewing urine flavored glass. This is a job. I get it. I'm ok with being an expendable cog within the machine. I have no problem whatsoever with knowing that I have less job security than a drug dealer and that the day someone above me sees it fit, I'll get canned either for bitching too much, for finally reaching the lowly depths of mediocrity revisions and half ass briefs prompt creative to reach or just because someone felt like enforcing some penis erecting power play. They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely and this statement can and does prove true often times when you're talking about government etc. However, the illusion of power is ever more annoying because some squeamish pissant with a napoleonic complex just happens to be one or two echelons above you within a corporate hierarchy and swears they have any type of say in your life. This is where things get stupid and I get material to write about.

There's nothing more sinisterly moronic than delusions of grandeur and with a hack that happens to fill all the blanks when it comes to the basic definition of a douche bag being near by, I can't help but look, stare and scratch my head. This is a train wreck of ignorance coupled with a deluded sense of superiority mainly given through coercive tactics or good old fashioned bullshit. You see, when this genre of idiot sans savantness gets to a place of power, they lay low and do pretty much nothing until it comes the time to attack and demonstrate that they have power and must command respect. Coming from a school of earning your stripes, needless to say that said bullshit doesn't go with my style of anything. True, everyone deserves a base level of respect but when you time and again demonstrate your level of acute suckassness, I can't help but not offer one iota of respect, one milligram of appreciation or one nanosecond of my time. When I have to do it then fine, but out of my own volition? Hell no.

In case you need a definition list for these terms, feel free to print the following items, draw a square next to each option and if the person in question is able to check more than four of these boxes, simply ignore them because you're better off getting fired.

1. They're NEVER wrong. When I say never, I mean never and at the very least, there is no written documentation that they've ever been wrong.

2. Their main talent and trump card shall forever be their talents in the art of bullshit. Better suited for politics or even law, instead these abilities are utilized for anything but the greater good. Every sentence is designed to take them a step closer to their goals, no sacrifice is too big as along as it's not theirs. But the key thing is that they schmoozed and bamboozled their way into the loving good graces of someone high up in the food chain that for some illogical reason cannot get past their very proper modes of expression and see that past the smoke and mirrors, there's really not much to report.

3. They exercise their power only when someone has called their attention. This denotes lack of consistence and showcases their exploits as a full on poser.

4. They attempt to sow seeds of dissent in a group since a person with a complaint is ignorable while a group of people pissed off at you is a professional hazard.

5. They have mastered the art of looking busy. You know the skills, you know the ploys. Hell you probably do them from time to time because you're not in the mood to overstress constantly. Funny part is when they merely put up this mirage for superiors and everyone else can see that if they achieve a 20% of productivity, it most likely has to do with their personal endeavors including and at times limiting themselves to facebook development.

6. Extremely articulate. Remember, this is no fool. It might be a schmuck you're dealing with, but it's not a stupid one and trust me, performing a coupe d'├ętat is not likely to happen since they probably have a backup plan and have a healthy list of targeted backs their metaphorical knives are well suited to sweetly sink into. Remember, they're not stupid, they're sweet talkers and don't be surprised if you get offered some free complimentary snake oil with your back stabbing.

7. No matter their position, more likely than not, they are hardly respected if respected at all. Comments do not go above glorified douche bag and the fact that they rub a healthy amount of people is testament to their lack of professional people skills.

8. Extremely well developed out of work people skills. The above item lists a similar topic but the detail to take into account is the context. These are people that having a beer with might sound like something you could actually consider, but lets just say that he'd be near the end of the line while choosing teams on the children's basketball court mainly because no one wants to share a victory or time with said person in a professional context.

9. They'd describe themselves as lone wolves that fend for themselves because the world is against them, but the reality is that any degree of alienation bestowed upon them bares an autobiographical autograph. Simply put, you reap what you sow, but they insist they haven't sown anything.

10. They're a one man band. They insist they don't need the help of anyone and could basically run an agency alone, but want to let other people shine. Hell everyone deserves the chance to make a good impression so why dirty their hands. In other words, they talk the talk. I mean they REALLY talk the talk. I mean they do cartwheels around entire galaxies with their talk. But when it comes to that walking part... um... they always seem to ask for an escalator.

So what to do? I'm not really sure how to answer that one. These people are totally ignorant to their lack of worth in a company context and can only focus on others mistakes while pardoning their own and meticulously omitting any reference to their faults, cuz they're that good. You have a typo? You're on thin ice my friend. They have five typos? It's understandable because of the pressures their job put on them. Sound familiar? Me too. So good luck in whatever you may decide to do or not do in regards to their existence. I'm in the midst of full blown pondering myself.

For now though, cheers guys.

2 comments:

Make the logo bigger said...

A creative I know calls this personality someone with ‘charasmatic ignorance.’ They draw you in with their charm, like a moth to a flame, then you get burned.

joker said...

bloody brilliant description. That's exactly what we're talking about :D

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