Sep 20, 2007

There are two sides to every coin.

You've been let go from your ad agency. Yes, turd happens for some from time to time. You ask why. You get the normal bullshit line. It's either we're closing the position or... we're cutting down personnel. My beef with higher ups has always been the same shit: tell people why you let them go. The brutal, honest truth. Maybe they will take the hint of why they are packing up their shit on a box, dammit.

But... Sometimes the answer is so damn clear, it's easy to get it... if you are honest enough to see yourself from the other side. I know I will piss off many people that read this. In my country there is a saying that roughly translates to... if it burns, it's because you ate something spicy. I just write about this special theme because I am tired of people talking to me, wondering why they got the pink slip... when I go... isn't it obvious?

If I had a dime for every person who has been let go that doesn't know why they were fired, I'd have at least 100 bucks. Ok. 50 bucks. Fair enough. Some we honestly didn't pinpoint why. Maybe the boss had a sore asshole that day and went berzerk firing people. It happens. But some... you just knew why.

So tonight I have the balls to list the top 3 reasons why ad people are fired, when it's not about downsizing, stupid firing or a loss of an account. If you start getting mad at some point, look honestly at yourself, because maybe... Houston, you have a problem.

1) Personal Issues: Your boyfriend is an asshole, your girlfriend is a slut, you are not getting enough anal sex... It can be an array of whatever reasons. If you are having trouble at home, in any way shape or form and you are taking it to your office, babes, you are in deep trouble. Don't ever, ever let them see you sweat. Your problems are your own, and you have no reason whatsoever to have an attitude, talk down to your coworkers, treat people like shit or come crying like a baby to your desk.

I don't mean that you should become a robot and not show any emotion. You can. Just "can" it. If you start letting your shit come between your job, then go home, take a Wellbutrin or a Xanax, talk to a doctor... Just don't let them see you that way. Why? Reality check. Your boss doesn't care if your spouse gave you shit for walking in late from working the night before and you are pissed off because they don't understand. He or she only wants one thing: for you to deliver. Sad, but true.

2) Facebook, MySpace, Messenger, Internet, Forwards, Comic Books, Toys, YouTube: You think that you are not spending that much time on any of this items? Wrong. I have known many bosses that think that they are not paying you to tag your friends at Facebook. Sorry. If your priorities are that special Slideshow instead of finishing that campaign, your boss WILL notice and you WILL get fired. "Oh, but that is my personal time, Me". Bullshit. It's their ad agency, their rules. It doesn't even matter that your boss has a damn Facebook account and is messaging all day. It's HIS/HER office. When your name is in the front sign, then slideshow all day long if you like. Period.

3) Confrontation: There is one thing to fight for what you believe, there is another thing to fight for what you believe, what you think is right, what you think is wrong, for world peace, for Kosovo... Look. If you are fighting more than you are talking, you might have a problem. I do believe in standing up for what you think is right. Totally. But if it crosses the line with violence, anger, screaming, sore attitude... What will happen next is easy. You will get canned because of your personality, and not for your creativity or productivity, which sucks BIG TIME. In any work environment, you are supposed to play nice, even when people are not. They will always be assholes in any work environment. It's the ability you have to work around them that makes you stay where you work.

Alcohol, drug use, tardiness, long lunches are some of the most stupid reasons that bosses also use against you. The reality is that those are valid reasons as well, but at least for me the previous three are the most powerful, because those are the ones that people never see. They don't realize that they are making those mistakes, mainly because they can't see themselves outside their reality.

Just let me leave you with this. If you are sick, dead sick, and you need a doctor. Would you trust the bastard doc which tells you to fuck off and take a Tylenol because the spouse is banging the young nurse... and then proceeds to put all his golf pics on a nice slideshow?

Yeah. I didn't think so. Be on top of your game, people. Trust me on this one.


joker said...

Sweet venomous truth spitter, how right you are. During my would be career and life I've been canned from three places. The first one was in a record store. Shit pay, lame hours etc and I was too young to realize the trap I was baited into. They eliminated some hours from my schedule when I most needed the money, I blasted off, well at least according to them. I was upset and said a few choice words but didn't say it next to the clients and I didn't go ballistic, but I did react. They actually called me in the next morning to come in super early because someone couldn't make it to the shift.... Needless to say, everyone made it, I got canned and was asked when I could give back the shirt to which I replied by taking it off in the store and tossing it on the table. Really mature, but hey, I still stand by my actions because if you're going to fire me, be up front about it.

Second time I got canned was because of downsizing. Not fictional downsizing but real ouch that agency is going under down sizing. I was the newbie, I got canned, I could live with that.

Third time I've gotten canned, I asked for a sincere explanation and got a quasi lame one. I played it off cool but I'm pretty sure my attitude in regards to an exec or two might have had an effect, especially having to tell traffic that I saw an exec practicing my signature. I always stayed late, constantly covered people, busted my ass and it was for naught. Got canned, dealt with it.

Later I've been able to resign from my next jobs and it's an equally funky dynamic but for different reasons.

As for internet usage and abusing company resources, I'm not exempt from these crimes, but I always deliver my things on time and even early once in a blue moon, do things rush when they ask for them rushed and have learned to blame most of my follies on the client rather than the AE and things have flowed much better. Still have my occasional bitchfit but I don't think enough to be considered for the cutting slab just yet.

In regards to if I am totally safe in my job? I offer one answer via question... Who the hell is? All I know is that I try and give less reasons to get fired but my temper still puts me in the red from time to time. Eventually I'll learn to not give a fuck. For now though, that shirt throwing prick I was seven years ago is still alive but more subdued.

ps.: blogging is also a reason I could get fired, but hey, this is therapy. Lol. yeah... nice BS excuse. oh well. It'd make news and we could finally sell the book :D

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