Dec 20, 2007

Secret, Secret, I got a Secret….. Santa

OK… It’s that time of the year again people. Put up the mistletoe, take a good whiff of that artificial pine air freshener, suck on a candy cane and realize it’s time for some of your least favorite yearly happenings at a company. First up, the Secret Santa Company gift exchange. yay…………………………………….

For newbies who have not yet enjoyed this wonderful exercise in hypocrisy, someone from your department or from the company in general comes with a basket, a box, a hat or any other receptacle containing a vast number of folded papers, paper strips, or any other paper based confection that will contain the name of someone you have to get a gift from your company. Joy… it’s the magic of giving everyone the monetary equivalent in gifts so that everyone gets a gift when in all reality, people are just exchanging $25 that they are indirectly getting themselves.

Sometimes you’re lucky and get someone you know what to get and it’s actually someone you care about. Awesome. Other times you are excluded from the Irish bandwagon when your deity of choice was handing out that sought after commodity you and I call luck. By not being lucky I mean you either got someone deplorable, someone who will hate whatever you give them no matter what, the village idiot, the most hateful scumbag or you guessed it, a VP or your boss. As one Asian stereotype once said, Fook Mi!!!!

OK so what proceeds if you have someone that gives a shit, little details will be left on your desk. Chocolates, notes, scribbles, funny messages etc. That or… well nothing. It’s happened way too often that I get someone that really doesn’t know what the hell to get me and lucky for them, there’s a list so you can put what you want so the person in question doesn’t screw up and get you something you’d really hate. Wholly unoriginal? But of course, but like originality was ever the purpose of this exercise. If you need a map, this little shindig is a way for us to fraternize, see each other’s faces rather than continue without knowing who works in our company and offering up the opportunity to have a single serving mingle within the circle of “company family”.

“Is there anything else?” you ask. Why of course there is. Now comes the company raffle where 10,000 shitty prizes get raffled with a few really great ones thrown in the mix. I’ve honestly been very lucky in regards to this part of the Christmas spectacle and I’ve won $50 Borders certificates, $100 cash and other assorted goodies. But I know people who won a Mr. Coffee, or $15 at a hair salon and crap stuff of the sorts.

Have you been naughty or nice? It doesn’t really matter. That’s the beauty of chance I guess but for my part, I hope good luck prevails once again and that this post doesn’t jinx the shit out of me :D

Anywho, happy raffling, secret gifting, and eggnogging from your friendly neighborhood Grinch!!!

Señor Joker


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