Dec 3, 2007

The Twelve Days of Advertising.


On the first day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the second day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the third day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Stupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me Six more Campaigns... Five Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me Seven Conference Calls, Six more Campaigns... Five Stupid Chaaaaaaaaaanges!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me, Eight Ass Kissers, Six more Campaigns... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Stuuuuuuuupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me, Nine logos in Jpg, Eight Ass Kissers, Six more Campaigns... Fiiiive Stuuuuuuuupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me, Ten Traffic Gal's a'screaming, Nine logos in Jpg, Eight Ass Kissers, Six more Campaigns... Five Stuuuuuuuuuupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me, Eleven Working Weekends, Ten Traffic Gal's a'screaming, Nine logos in Jpg, Eight Ass Kissers, Six more Campaigns... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Stupid Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanges!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

On the twelfth of Christmas my Ad Agency gave to me, Twelve Single Minded Ideas, Eleven Working Weekends, Ten Traffic Gal's a'screaming, Nine logos in Jpg, Eight Ass Kissers, Six more Campaigns... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Stuuuuuuuuuupid Changes!!!!! Four Facebook Warnings, Three Drunk Media Buyers, two Bullshitting Clients...

and a Really Shitty Creative Brief.

Merry Christmas, ad people. We suck.

1 comments:

ae said...

This actually helps my understanding a great deal. Why can't we just talk about this shit to begin with, instead of agencies blowing all this smoke up our collective ass about "listening to the client" and "executing your vision." Agencies don't give a crap about our vision. We're retarded, as far as the agency is concerned. And what we want might not suck quite so much if we could discuss it ourselves with the person who is supposed to execute it, but we're not allowed to speak to the artist, only the account nazi, who conveys our concerns/wishes/retarded babbling to the artist/designer, probably in deeply sarcastic and sympathetic tones while lying her ass off, and then comes back and tells us some other line of crap about why the designer did it wrong, when really, she never told the designer SHIT about what we told her in the last expensive little conference call, but this way, nobody really knows what's going on but her, the puppetmaster, because of course, we cro-magnon clients can't communicate with the rarified minds in the art department without her divine intercession and translation...

Gosh, I need some bandaids ... all this knuckle-dragging makes it hard to type.

Grrrr...

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