Blame Canada!

Ah, the business of placing blame on others. Trust me on this one, if this were a paid profession, I know two or three that would be CEO's. In fact... let's talk crap about one of them in particular, shall we? I'm such in a foul mood (no, it's not PMS), I'd like to bring out the little Joker in me out for a spin.

Here's the deal. I know a certain client who sucks ass. I know. All clients suck ass. But this one takes the cake. He's the poster child for a fecal matter human being. Totally dishonest. Shady. Gossiper like the worst of them. Bad business manners. Doesn't have a clue on what he's doing, 'cause, like any other asshole, he climbed his way to the top by sticking that shiny and sharp thing on other people's backs. I tell you, I wish there was a cash prize for submitting a disgusting client. I would win, hands down.

But the one thing I hate the most, the one thing that makes my blood boil - and it boils very easily nowadays - it's the fact that he thrives in creating a work environment where everyone is to blame but him. It is unbelievable. I really even don't know how he does it. Hey, it's not that he doesn't make a decision on stuff. He does. But he finds his loophole always, where by making it a group effort, if something breaks down, it's always someone else but him. You dropped the ball here. Sorry, but I thought I could trust this to you. Now I know I have to do eeeeverything. In fact. I'm going to try again. Let's see if you fuck up again. Off the cycle goes. It is disgusting.

I don't know if I was raised by either a pack of wolves or Mario Puzo. I really don't. But I am starting to think there is something strange with me. You see, I have ovaries, but I strongly believe that, instead of believing that a Gucci bag is what defines you to the world, it's your word and credibility what makes you. I am definitively not a Freddo. And this guy... oh what would I give to take him out on a nice boat ride on Lake Como.

What is it with clients and making a full, hard decision??? Develop a plan? Think it's going to work? Did you study all the angles and still works? Then dammit, own it. If it fails, it fails. If it works, then you can pat yourself in the back and say how wonderful you are. Yes, a good sign of success is team work. But at the end, you have to stick your head in the cutting board and say it's me. If anything goes wrong, I am the captain my captain. Is that so fucking hard to do?

Besides, placing blame on others when you fully know that you are the fuck up in certain situations is a sign that you truly don't have any self esteem. Only a few take the blame like a man (or a ballsy woman) head on. It is so honorable to face your mistakes, people don't realize sometimes how far you can go owning both your bad and good choices in life.

But oh well; if fecal matter like this sorry excuse of a human being didn't exist... then this blog would not be so fun to write, would it?

Tranquility, high Fives and a bucket of wings. (My Joker tribute)

Me

We Get No Respect

Truth be told, every time I see anything with Rodney Dangerfield in it, I’m immediately reminded of my late grandfather. Skinny legged, huge pot of gold like belly (maybe even a cauldron in both cases), slick back hair and a one liner always on its way. In a sense my grandfather was like the Cuban version of Rodney with one great exception, he got a lot of respect. Obviously Rodney also had his share of respect, appreciation and admiration from a legion of people who can’t help but tug at invisible neckties while miming the swallowing of a grapefruit. That being said, unlike the great Dangerfield and the magnanimous Grandpa Joker, we do not get respect on so many levels that it’s a wonder why most agencies don’t have a shrink to deal with our issues.

Where to begin, where to begin? Ok let’s start at home, by a rhetorical show of hands, how many people who work in this godforsaken industry have been questioned by classmates, family members, spouses and various other miscellaneous people in regards to just exactly what we do and why we do it? Then after answering that question, ask yourself how many times you weren’t prompted to change professions, you know… get a "real job". No matter how hard you try to explain though, they don’t get it. They don’t understand the “craft” that goes into our daily work… or do they? To add insult to injury, how many times have you explained what you do and have been replied with: “you can get paid for that?”. Wait, you mean to tell me that you need even more insult to injury? Sure thing buddy, go to a class reunion and tell a doctor, a lawyer, an architect, an engineer or even an accountant about what you do and see if they're able to hide the fact that they think you’re a joke.

Still think you’re a well-respected professional? Ok, then explain to me why a few of your clients don’t respect you. You read correctly they do not respect you. Don’t believe me? Then how many times have you had copies revised completely to get to exactly what the client wanted? How many times have your spell checking skills been questioned? How many times have you found yourself reviewing an artwork because they had super input in regards to the design and how a bachelor’s degree in accounting suddenly makes them the print advertisement feng shui gurus? In short, how many times have you been told exactly what to do or been ordered to revise a decent layout for something that can pretty much be categorized somewhere in between piece of shit and a total waste of money?

Oh-ho!!! You STILL think there’s some shred of evidence to substantiate your opinion that you’re respected? Then how’s that salary suiting you for your 13 hour work days? Hell it’s not like you could report said unlawful treatment since “that’s the way things are in advertising". No raise in four years? Sorry things are tough and the boss needs to pay the maintenance fee for his boat even if things ARE financially bad for your company?

Yet daily we see the hordes of young, hungry, up and coming advertising newbies who’ve bought into the bullshit that we work in a glamorous industry. That it’s totally worth taking a salary cut to still wear message T’s and ripped jeans. That they’ll get to travel above and beyond their expectations when the sad reality is that a lot of people actually don’t cash into that luxurious creative elite where budgets aren’t a problem and the only limitations you have are those of your mind.

Now if all is said and done, and you still feel like a respected professional, I congratulate you. Because if you can look in the mirror, smile, blow a kiss at your reflection and think you’re the shit while taking daily swims in your particular brand of company sponsored fecal cesspools, then that’s all that matters and you got all the respect you need.

This might be a way out.

Listen up!!! The Mega Millions game is at a record $370 million.

Let me repeat.

$370 million.



The odds of winning: 1 in 176 million.

Tickets are sold in California, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Texas, Virginia and Washington state.

If you win you must give WAS 5% of your winnings.

I am playing next month. Period.

Jeeze Chreeze!

(Sorry for the obscure Eddie Izzard Joke)

HURRY!!!!!! Go to Google video and search for Who Killed the Electric Car (had the link but it was screwing up our page) and enjoy the full documentary. Hey, lawyers out there, this is not us posting it on the internet. We are just... spreading the word so you can sue later? Rrrrrrrrrright.

How are your Photoshop skills?

Get ready for your divorce.

I think this month is "I really hate my job" month for some people I know. In fact, I could say that it even is "I need to change my life" month. Why? All the stories my friends tell me. It could be the moon, the hormones, the will of God... who knows. My theory is that some people really need to stop what they are doing... they need to say: when. There are some people out there who need to take a step back and realize that their relationship with their job is over. They are not growing, not going forward... and the romance is gone. Dudes and dudettes. It is time to say... I need a divorce from this shithole.

In just 30 days I have heard everything from just bad work environments to full blown conspiracy theories of getting people fired. Mix that with stress at home caused by bad friends, bad relationships, bad economy... and all you have at the end is seeing your friends, those you truly care for, down and almost out.

This? Not good.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is truly hating his job right now but has a weird loyalty situation with his CEO. he won't leave because he thinks that he is needed there. He then forgets the fact that for almost two years now, he has been treated like... shit. Feces. Maneur. The real ugly kind. Unfriendly diarrhea (aaaaaaaaw, that brings memories of working with Restrictions - we loved to form weird diarrhea-symptoms names, hehe). Um. Where was I?

Why do people need to develop a one-sided loyalty street with their jobs? Look. Every job is like a relationship, people. If you don't believe in that, then you are in deep trouble. Let me give you another example. In relationship therapy there is a chart that will scare the shit out of you. It is called the Cycle of an Abusive Relationship. Here it is:



As you can see, this can go on and on, forever. IF YOU CHOOSE IT. See? It is almost the same as living in a bad relationship. If you go to work thinking how long will it take before something explodes and makes me feel like shit... it isn't worth it. Like relationships, you need sometimes to stop and think. Do I really need this? Will this ever change? Have I tried all I can? Will it make me a better person if I stay?

If you know, deep in your heart, that you will stay at your cubicle forever, that you will never grow as a professional... I am sorry but you really need to say goodbye. There are many jobs out there that maybe will click better to you. I truly believe that people SHOULD wake up happy and glad that they are going to work. I know people who do.

The question is... what kind of person do you want to be when you get out of bed?

Think about it. Change is good. Change is holy.

So sad we're not this crazy.