May 7, 2007
May 6, 2007
May 5, 2007
Let me scare you for a moment.
YOU HAVE CANCER.
Scary, right? It can be the worst news you can get. It can knock the socks out of you. And I am speaking from a bit of experience. You see, as a child I have always had a nuclear abnormality (cells, people) in which, if I get a test for cancer, I get positive. Then, after more labs, it turns out negative. I am very weird, yes. No worries, I will not drop dead just yet. I am in almost good health and no problems have returned so I am sans cancer and other stuff. But still, those three words can kill you just the same.
Why am I writing this? Because I am pissed off. You see, a chance was given to many copywriters and designers where I live to do a pro bono thing about cancer. All you had to do was to be on call for the local cancer association and, in case they needed something, all you had to do was give a little time. Write a radio ad. Design a brochure. Simple things we can do on a couple of hours. Nothing fancy, nothing extremely creative. Just something that they could share with the community so they can live better.
What happened? No one rose up to the challenge. If they don't get paid, then it's not a priority. Bullshit. What a lousy way of telling the world that you are less than a human being. Call after call they made. Big US agencies dropped them. Local agencies as well. If I don't have a chance to win a Clio, forget it. Call someone else. So, when they called me up, I immediately thought about my grandpa. He survived cancer. I owe him a little time for all the grandpas who didn't survive to write that radio ad or that press release. With a smile, no less.
My point is? Say yes, people. It doesn't have to be cancer. It might be whatever disease you want. Even OCD, I don't give a crap. Just do something meaningful. Hey, and if you don't have no one to do it for, then think of my lovely grandpa. I can loan him to you so you have a reason. Screw that, do it for those who didn't. Do it for anyone you care about.
Like Nike likes to brag. Just do it.
Much love.
Scary, right? It can be the worst news you can get. It can knock the socks out of you. And I am speaking from a bit of experience. You see, as a child I have always had a nuclear abnormality (cells, people) in which, if I get a test for cancer, I get positive. Then, after more labs, it turns out negative. I am very weird, yes. No worries, I will not drop dead just yet. I am in almost good health and no problems have returned so I am sans cancer and other stuff. But still, those three words can kill you just the same.
Why am I writing this? Because I am pissed off. You see, a chance was given to many copywriters and designers where I live to do a pro bono thing about cancer. All you had to do was to be on call for the local cancer association and, in case they needed something, all you had to do was give a little time. Write a radio ad. Design a brochure. Simple things we can do on a couple of hours. Nothing fancy, nothing extremely creative. Just something that they could share with the community so they can live better.
What happened? No one rose up to the challenge. If they don't get paid, then it's not a priority. Bullshit. What a lousy way of telling the world that you are less than a human being. Call after call they made. Big US agencies dropped them. Local agencies as well. If I don't have a chance to win a Clio, forget it. Call someone else. So, when they called me up, I immediately thought about my grandpa. He survived cancer. I owe him a little time for all the grandpas who didn't survive to write that radio ad or that press release. With a smile, no less.
My point is? Say yes, people. It doesn't have to be cancer. It might be whatever disease you want. Even OCD, I don't give a crap. Just do something meaningful. Hey, and if you don't have no one to do it for, then think of my lovely grandpa. I can loan him to you so you have a reason. Screw that, do it for those who didn't. Do it for anyone you care about.
Like Nike likes to brag. Just do it.
Much love.
May 4, 2007
Damn Good Writing from the David Letterman camp
Enjoy The Late Show's Top Ten Least Exciting Superpowers for Comic Book Superheroes:
10. Super spelling
9. Lightning-fast mood swings
8. Really bendy thumb
7. Unusually natural smile when posing for photographs
6. Ability to calm jittery squirrels
5. Power to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle
4. Ability to get tickets to Goodwill Games
3. Power to score with other superheroes' wives
2. Ability to communicate with corn
1. Magnetic colon
10. Super spelling
9. Lightning-fast mood swings
8. Really bendy thumb
7. Unusually natural smile when posing for photographs
6. Ability to calm jittery squirrels
5. Power to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle
4. Ability to get tickets to Goodwill Games
3. Power to score with other superheroes' wives
2. Ability to communicate with corn
1. Magnetic colon
"I don't know. It lacks something".
"It needs more pep."
"We need to make the design to pop."
"The copy needs to be more striking".
What the fuck? Yeah. You know what I am talking about. Strange revisions that make you want to kill yourself because you have NO IDEA of what the client is saying. The first line was delivered via telephone a couple of weeks ago... a revision to a stock music I had put on a radio spot. Pep, huh? (I would like to point out that I didn't put anything jazzy or classical) When I tried to have them explain pep... silence. Just pep.
What ever happened to normal revisions, or revisions based on something that you can understand??? Do they realize that we are not psychics? We need facts, not ambiguous ideas. The winner is... I don't know that is wrong with the ad, it just doesn't speak to me. Um. Right. Now I have to do another ad, trying to bet that I will speak to the client, instead of... gasp... the target audience? Great. I will now close my eyes, breathe in deeply and try to envision what is pep, for example. Can I put a little music that sounds more... pornish? Hey porn music has pep in my book. So does a lot of other music, but you don't see me using my taste in music in my ads!
If only clients would realize that revisions are welcome when they make sense and are based on the target audience, not their particular taste, we would all leave home earlier. As another decade comes in working in this business - damn, I have to retire NOW - it dawns on me that every single time I have sat down and have had "the talk" with my clients ("you should try to remember that it's not about you, but the reader, yada yada yada), I have wasted my time. As much as they tell me that I am right, they continue to do that obnoxious thing of trying to approve an ad for themselves.
The thing that bothers me the most is, I think we have the only profession in which clients always need to point out something stupid about our work. Don't think so? Go to the doctor and get a facelift. How many patients do you think tell the doctor how to pull their skin better? Go to your latest hip restaurant. Do you ever have the need to tell the chef that the chateaubriand needs to be cooked better in this style or that style? No, right?
They pay them, knowing full well that they know what to do. But in advertising, you get revision after stupid revision. And the kicker is, when you hand in the bill, they start whimpering about all those pesky revision costs.
There are team building workshops, all around the globe. You know, those awful I hate this and I love that about you, catch me from the ladder bullshit, talk in circles... eeeeeeeesh. Well, you know what? I would gladly fall to my coworkers hands and sing kumbaya any day if one of my clients, just one, went into ad revision boot camp. If you don't give us a decent, based on logic revision, you have to drop down and give us 30 push ups.
Wishful thinking... Wishful thinking.
"We need to make the design to pop."
"The copy needs to be more striking".
What the fuck? Yeah. You know what I am talking about. Strange revisions that make you want to kill yourself because you have NO IDEA of what the client is saying. The first line was delivered via telephone a couple of weeks ago... a revision to a stock music I had put on a radio spot. Pep, huh? (I would like to point out that I didn't put anything jazzy or classical) When I tried to have them explain pep... silence. Just pep.
What ever happened to normal revisions, or revisions based on something that you can understand??? Do they realize that we are not psychics? We need facts, not ambiguous ideas. The winner is... I don't know that is wrong with the ad, it just doesn't speak to me. Um. Right. Now I have to do another ad, trying to bet that I will speak to the client, instead of... gasp... the target audience? Great. I will now close my eyes, breathe in deeply and try to envision what is pep, for example. Can I put a little music that sounds more... pornish? Hey porn music has pep in my book. So does a lot of other music, but you don't see me using my taste in music in my ads!
If only clients would realize that revisions are welcome when they make sense and are based on the target audience, not their particular taste, we would all leave home earlier. As another decade comes in working in this business - damn, I have to retire NOW - it dawns on me that every single time I have sat down and have had "the talk" with my clients ("you should try to remember that it's not about you, but the reader, yada yada yada), I have wasted my time. As much as they tell me that I am right, they continue to do that obnoxious thing of trying to approve an ad for themselves.
The thing that bothers me the most is, I think we have the only profession in which clients always need to point out something stupid about our work. Don't think so? Go to the doctor and get a facelift. How many patients do you think tell the doctor how to pull their skin better? Go to your latest hip restaurant. Do you ever have the need to tell the chef that the chateaubriand needs to be cooked better in this style or that style? No, right?
They pay them, knowing full well that they know what to do. But in advertising, you get revision after stupid revision. And the kicker is, when you hand in the bill, they start whimpering about all those pesky revision costs.
There are team building workshops, all around the globe. You know, those awful I hate this and I love that about you, catch me from the ladder bullshit, talk in circles... eeeeeeeesh. Well, you know what? I would gladly fall to my coworkers hands and sing kumbaya any day if one of my clients, just one, went into ad revision boot camp. If you don't give us a decent, based on logic revision, you have to drop down and give us 30 push ups.
Wishful thinking... Wishful thinking.
May 3, 2007
Sorry, we don’t have that in stock
When you think of some of the more memorable commercials you’ve seen in your life, more likely than not, the music chosen for that commercial was the perfect one. I don’t mean good as in well that works, I’m talking about the perfect musical piece for your shitty 30 second ad that actually makes it memorable. It could be stock music, a licensed song or a custom made track. What we can all agree on is that when it works, it really works, and when it doesn’t work, you won’t even remember. If you saw the Bravia commercial with the tagline color like no other, you heard the Jose Gonzalez version of “Heartbeats”. If you’ve seen the latest commercial for Pizzeria UNO, then you’ve heard a track I’m the process of looking for. The Skittles commercial a few years back with the people leaning back for their cream flavors had another great track.
Then there are the ads that have original scores that actually get to you. Could be minimalist, could be fully blown out of proportion. Hell it could very well be a jingle that actually works. Something catchy and fun and being the total exception to 90 % of the jingles you hear nowadays because they sound lame, dated and like jingles instead of evolving.
Lastly there are commercials with stock music that is actually memorable and I can’t help but mention the apple commercials. They could be original scores but it sounds like stock music and it’s memorable for however lame the track might be by itself but it’s memorable to the point of people wanting it for ringtones on their cell phones.
That’s when things work. Then there are the ads with music chosen by tone deaf people, fans of obscure crap bands that gave them free usage of their track in exchange for airplay on their ad, and licensed music that though wonderful by itself, says NOTHING about the ad and doesn’t add anything except to the total cost of the ad.
That’s the importance of music for your ad and by music I mean good music. I normally sit down with my sound tech and try and give my input because I once worked for a music department and even worked at a lame ass record store, plus I’m an asshole when it comes to that part of the ad. Yes, we’re normally shafted budget wise but even if it takes hours, we sit down and waddle around 3,000 options to slim it to two and tweak and tweak til we’re both happy with the result and trust me, it’s satisfying to see an ok become better thanks to a simple exercise of choosing the right song for the ad.
So by all means, and here’s my point. Don’t slack off on the music of your ads. Clients will want to interfere. Don’t let them. Tell them you promise to get them the perfect music for their spot and that you’ll even find a decent stock track so they don’t bitch about the cost. All this is for when they say, wow, you’re right and that my friends, is definitely music to one’s ears.
Cheers
Then there are the ads that have original scores that actually get to you. Could be minimalist, could be fully blown out of proportion. Hell it could very well be a jingle that actually works. Something catchy and fun and being the total exception to 90 % of the jingles you hear nowadays because they sound lame, dated and like jingles instead of evolving.
Lastly there are commercials with stock music that is actually memorable and I can’t help but mention the apple commercials. They could be original scores but it sounds like stock music and it’s memorable for however lame the track might be by itself but it’s memorable to the point of people wanting it for ringtones on their cell phones.
That’s when things work. Then there are the ads with music chosen by tone deaf people, fans of obscure crap bands that gave them free usage of their track in exchange for airplay on their ad, and licensed music that though wonderful by itself, says NOTHING about the ad and doesn’t add anything except to the total cost of the ad.
That’s the importance of music for your ad and by music I mean good music. I normally sit down with my sound tech and try and give my input because I once worked for a music department and even worked at a lame ass record store, plus I’m an asshole when it comes to that part of the ad. Yes, we’re normally shafted budget wise but even if it takes hours, we sit down and waddle around 3,000 options to slim it to two and tweak and tweak til we’re both happy with the result and trust me, it’s satisfying to see an ok become better thanks to a simple exercise of choosing the right song for the ad.
So by all means, and here’s my point. Don’t slack off on the music of your ads. Clients will want to interfere. Don’t let them. Tell them you promise to get them the perfect music for their spot and that you’ll even find a decent stock track so they don’t bitch about the cost. All this is for when they say, wow, you’re right and that my friends, is definitely music to one’s ears.
Cheers
Why advertising DOESN’T suck
We painstakingly take hours upon hours to explain the bad things of this industry because quite honestly, there are an endless amount of things that truly suck in this industry. But what is there that keeps us putting up with this bullshit? Why do we trudge on because it has to be something other than not feeling up to par with performing in other industries? We stay in advertising for a reason or for some reasons and here are some of mine for however much I’m thinking of dropping this bullshit job.
1.) Dress code. It’s the most trivial of things but it’s a major reason some people don’t quit this industry. For however ludicrous it might seem, the freedom most of us enjoy to wear “fuck you” t-shirts, “eat me” ball caps, and “fuck me” shoes to work is a blessing. We hate ties and suits and business apparel and though we sometimes have to dress up, execs unfortunately more often than they’d like to, we get a break to dress down, not shave and occasionally forget hygiene to a certain degree.
2.) The people we work with. Hell even if you hate someone you have to admit one thing, they’re at least interesting. Even the biggest pricks in this industry are at least entertaining in their banality and bumfuckedness. You see the boring ass people from other places and you can’t help but gag at their lameness. Want to know why? Because even the most boring people, by our industry’s standards, are persons you can at the very least make fun of.
3.) Even if it sucks, people get to see the stuff you work on. What can an accountant or a banker show for his or her efforts? Nothing. We at least can show the shitty ad we busted our skulls making even if it does blow more than a hurricane.
4.) In most agencies you can really decorate your work station. Again, another trifle bullshit reason, but you can’t help enjoy the joy a person gets when they put up a dismembered corpse with their twenty other figurines without being told a single thing.
5.) Networking. In this industry you can really network if your liver doesn’t mind the abuse. Three parties and you’ve spoken to lord knows how many company representatives and if you invited someone to a shot and told them about that time you went to Bermuda and had wild sex after gulping a bottle of Wild Turkey, then that could actually be a job offer in the making. Hell, our entire industry is pretty much an addict’s support group.
6.) Free stuff. Yes, we sometimes get nothing or crap but guess what, when’s the last time you heard of some banker really getting a great premium. Not often and if it is, you know it sucks because you or someone you know designed the shitty $1.35 premium they’re given for their efforts.
7.) Your office environment might suck, but I invite you to look within a government agency, an auditing firm, a law firm, a banks offices etc. You’ll suddenly remember why you love your office even if it lasts only a couple of instants. Yes some agencies suck in their décor, but there are a variety of interesting places to work at.
8.) Even if you say they’re incompetent, maybe if you think you’re God on the computer and every one else from every other department is an idiot, you have at least a vague idea of what everyone does at your company. And the departments that exist within it. I dare you to ask people from other industries what their coworkers do for a living.
9.) Even if people think your job is laughable, you will always have something more interesting to say about your job than most other schmucks… doctors and lawyers don’t count though since the fucked up things they see on a daily basis is not to be messed with. Well not all lawyers, and not all doctors so HAH!!!! Seriously, do you really want to know about some guy who didn’t pay his palimony or about a patient who stubbed his toe for the fourth time in a row with his own toe nail?
10.) Your industry is more lenient with your arrival time than others. For some reason, though not every company, Advertising personnel usually get cut some slack a lot more than other people. Not that you can super slack on your entry time, but hell, if you get late three times you won’t get fired from most places. Trust me I know people who haven’t even gotten memos and have never been on time a day in their lives.
Is there much that sucks about our industry? Hell yes, hence the fucking existence of this blog, but it’s not all bad all the time or at least by comparison. Do we deserve better? Some people might say so, but a wise person once told me that you get not what you deserve but what you negotiate, and if you didn’t negotiate good working conditions, then you’re screwed. Regardless though, what else can you guys think of when asked if your industry doesn’t suck?
Cheers.
1.) Dress code. It’s the most trivial of things but it’s a major reason some people don’t quit this industry. For however ludicrous it might seem, the freedom most of us enjoy to wear “fuck you” t-shirts, “eat me” ball caps, and “fuck me” shoes to work is a blessing. We hate ties and suits and business apparel and though we sometimes have to dress up, execs unfortunately more often than they’d like to, we get a break to dress down, not shave and occasionally forget hygiene to a certain degree.
2.) The people we work with. Hell even if you hate someone you have to admit one thing, they’re at least interesting. Even the biggest pricks in this industry are at least entertaining in their banality and bumfuckedness. You see the boring ass people from other places and you can’t help but gag at their lameness. Want to know why? Because even the most boring people, by our industry’s standards, are persons you can at the very least make fun of.
3.) Even if it sucks, people get to see the stuff you work on. What can an accountant or a banker show for his or her efforts? Nothing. We at least can show the shitty ad we busted our skulls making even if it does blow more than a hurricane.
4.) In most agencies you can really decorate your work station. Again, another trifle bullshit reason, but you can’t help enjoy the joy a person gets when they put up a dismembered corpse with their twenty other figurines without being told a single thing.
5.) Networking. In this industry you can really network if your liver doesn’t mind the abuse. Three parties and you’ve spoken to lord knows how many company representatives and if you invited someone to a shot and told them about that time you went to Bermuda and had wild sex after gulping a bottle of Wild Turkey, then that could actually be a job offer in the making. Hell, our entire industry is pretty much an addict’s support group.
6.) Free stuff. Yes, we sometimes get nothing or crap but guess what, when’s the last time you heard of some banker really getting a great premium. Not often and if it is, you know it sucks because you or someone you know designed the shitty $1.35 premium they’re given for their efforts.
7.) Your office environment might suck, but I invite you to look within a government agency, an auditing firm, a law firm, a banks offices etc. You’ll suddenly remember why you love your office even if it lasts only a couple of instants. Yes some agencies suck in their décor, but there are a variety of interesting places to work at.
8.) Even if you say they’re incompetent, maybe if you think you’re God on the computer and every one else from every other department is an idiot, you have at least a vague idea of what everyone does at your company. And the departments that exist within it. I dare you to ask people from other industries what their coworkers do for a living.
9.) Even if people think your job is laughable, you will always have something more interesting to say about your job than most other schmucks… doctors and lawyers don’t count though since the fucked up things they see on a daily basis is not to be messed with. Well not all lawyers, and not all doctors so HAH!!!! Seriously, do you really want to know about some guy who didn’t pay his palimony or about a patient who stubbed his toe for the fourth time in a row with his own toe nail?
10.) Your industry is more lenient with your arrival time than others. For some reason, though not every company, Advertising personnel usually get cut some slack a lot more than other people. Not that you can super slack on your entry time, but hell, if you get late three times you won’t get fired from most places. Trust me I know people who haven’t even gotten memos and have never been on time a day in their lives.
Is there much that sucks about our industry? Hell yes, hence the fucking existence of this blog, but it’s not all bad all the time or at least by comparison. Do we deserve better? Some people might say so, but a wise person once told me that you get not what you deserve but what you negotiate, and if you didn’t negotiate good working conditions, then you’re screwed. Regardless though, what else can you guys think of when asked if your industry doesn’t suck?
Cheers.
May 2, 2007
Cinco de Frijolero!
Hey hey hey! So this Saturday is the shit. De la Hoya vs. Mayweather. THE FIGHT. I am soooo pumped up, I think I grew testicles. Ok. Maybe not testicles. Maybe just a nice flow of manly energy. Anyway, as I was finding a cool video to post this, I started thinking... face off's are gay. As Seinfeld says, not that there's anything wrong with that, but... Damn. If De la Hoya comes any closer to Mayweather, the next thing might be tongue on tongue action, and the one that might make Gene Simmons cringe. Um. Honestly guys. Doesn't work. Just bite each others ear or something. Makes for more drama than this boring face to face shit.
Anyway, start your bets, I already have mine, which is now an old tradition. Who will win?
Oh, by the way? De la Hoya is making around have a billion dollars on this event. I love that man. Oscar, may I please have your bebito? Orale, vato.
Anyway, start your bets, I already have mine, which is now an old tradition. Who will win?
Oh, by the way? De la Hoya is making around have a billion dollars on this event. I love that man. Oscar, may I please have your bebito? Orale, vato.
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