Jan 1, 2008

I survived 2007 and all I got was this shitty post

So another year ends and another begins, well unless you ride with the Chinese New Year calendar and are currently laughing at most of the rest of the world for thinking we turned another year in that other calendar. That aside, it was a year of the Chocolate Rain, of the people Tasing their bros, of two girls and one cup and how Kermit enjoyed said fecal fiasco. It was a year of us not leaving Britney alone, of Jack Bauer saving the world while he was more than eager to get his life over with (don't leave us yet Jack), and of a pre-election hoopla to rival any other election year thanks in large part to the emergence of youtube as a political tool. It was a year of Sickos, of Stardust, of 300 chiseled men getting slaughtered in slow motion and of reunion tours and comebacks. Rocky had one last hurrah, Rambo is on his way, The Police are de doo doo doing it again, while the Zeppelin is upon us. Radiohead took a dump on the record industry, the Wii took a dump on Playstation, and as stated above, a girl took a dump in an ice cream shake cup and millions have watched. Mr. Hoff might be the king of the Internet but alcohol is the king of Mr. Hoff and gasoline is the king of our pocket. We were able to enjoy some Grindhousing joy and Barry Bonds broke two records, one about something of the most homeruns batted ever, and one about being one of the biggest assholes to walk the Earth. Hank would not be proud. Michael Vick showed he likes it doggy style, the wrong way and Michael Jackson is somewhere molesting small children in the middle east. Queens of the Stone Age brought back the Vulgaris, Nine Inch Nails celebrated their Year Zero and Niggy Tardust inevitably had a Rise and Fall. Rage Against the Machine continues to make us mental jerk with the possibility of a new album and a new tour. iPods have become the mandatory co-op product of the millenium and Vista sucks more than Rush Limbaugh kneeling in front of Satan himself. Troops are still in Iraq, everybody keeps saying to take them out, and with recent events and the unfortunate demise of Ms. Bhutto (thanks to my gf and her family for informing me of this, IU'm an ignorant douche), who knows if that will ever happen and if we'll emerge from this situation. In lighter news, The Whopper is still alive and kicking, all NYC McDonalds shut down for a day and Pontiac and Chevy keep competing to see who has the bigger new years advertising penis; oh! and if you missed it, there were Polar Bears in the theaters that weren't branded with Coca Cola symbols, and they really sucked. It was the conclusion of the Harry Potter series and Headmaster Dumbledore was ripped out of the closet. Our perception of what is possible in movie special effects was totally Transformed, Chuck Palahniuk showed us his Guts, side effects for medicines continue to be scarier than the symptoms they look to cure and energy drinks are the new cocaine of our youth. Also of note is that EMO is the new queer and that queer is the new trend, especially if you have an eye of that type bestowed upon a straight guy. In short, chris Crocker is gay but not happy, Tay Sonjay is happy but not gay, and Carson Kressley is happy AND gay.

In short, 2007 was all over the place. Ups, downs, sideways, leeways, noways, etc. I think it's one of the few years where you could use the word 'weird' to describe it and many people wouldn't complain. It was also a year of tribulations of various ups and several hundred downs. We lost some people along the way, probably made a friend or two, got in touch with someone we'd lost touch with and the funny thing though, is that no matter how much life changes, how much you have to give thanks for or how many times you've felt as if life is a strange and marvelous thing, there's still one thing that remains consistent throughout. One single solitary statement that unwaveringly maintains itself through thick and thin and says 'it is what it is' even if that phrase was recently fictionally banned.

ADVERTISING STILL SUCKS

So with love, warm wishes, and all that hoopla, we wish you the best here at WAS and hope you continue to enjoy the bitching, cuz the tank is still full and we keep on a burning.

Kindest regards, may your '08 be a great one and remember kids, make love, not babies.

Peace, love and maki rolls and....

Cheerrrsssssssssss

Yours truly

Joker

1 comments:

Make the logo bigger said...

Grindehouse Whoppers.

Chocolate Rain Limbaugh.

Vulgaris Mr. Hoff.

Many fine band names here.

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