1. You look best when you’re not as thin as you want to be.
2. I’m going to put bars around my desk and clang it with a coffee mug. You know, just to complete the whole mood my superiors enjoy.
3. Can’t you see I’m facebooking? Fuck off.
4. Keep the happy hour, give us better food.
5. I stand awestruck when friends in other industries tell me they get paid for overtime.
6. People with great bullshit should be in wheelchairs because they can DEFINITELY not walk any type of walk.
7. How many trees have died over revisions?
8. How many synonyms do I have to send a client before they give up and yield to the wordsmith?
9. You don’t choose your battles, battles choose you.
10. If I drive past the exit I take on my route to work during the weekend, I shudder and become short of breath