Feb 19, 2008

Lorem ipsuming in the dolor amet

We’ve all had layouts that for presentation purposes you put Greeking on the fucker and off you go. Truth be told the entire text goes a something like a this:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

You just copy paste that shit and put it anywhere where you don’t have text. Taking into account the Writer’s Guild strike, try to imagine what a scene in your favorite sex scene would sound like. Hmmmm……..

And he stroked her hair lovingly, caressing every fiber of her body while lorem ipsuming her dolor sit amet.

“Yes, Yes.” She called out while putting his consecteur adipiscing in her warm moist elit.

“Sed!! Sed do eiusmod!!” He roared while arching his back in sheer ecstasy.

“Do you want it in your tempor? Or do you want it in the incididunt?” He whispered while cusping her ut labore et dolore while licking her magna aliqua.

“No!! Not in my ut enim ad minim… I only take it through the veniam.” She protested.

“Don’t be coy with me Linda. Take the quis nostrud, feel the ecercitation while stroking ullamco laboris ni…si…”. He struggled to control himself.

“UT!!! UT!! UT!!! Aliquip ex me like a wildcat, Thornton.” She wailed, whisking her hair into his face.

“Is that ea commodo my sweet consequat?” he pounded ever more vigorously.

“Yes! Yes! Duis aute, irure me you dolor in reprehenderit!!!!” She gasped, and moaned and suffocated.

“In voluptate baby!! That’s right!!! Velit esse cillum so you can feel the dolore eu fugiat up to your nulla pariatur.” He said as his body clasped in excepteur frenzy.

“Sint!! SINT!! SINT!!!” She moaned.

“OH god…. I’m going to occaecat my cupidatat all over your non proidents!!!”

“Fill my sunt with in culpa qui officia you bastard.”

“De…..se….runt……….” He finally climaxed.

“Oh… that was so mollit. I’ll always anim id est your laborum my love.” She said.

“Ditto.” He repeated.

Sounds pretty good to me, then again this is what happens when you’re working past 12 AM after a 77 hour week. This shit is bananas.


Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising said...

Brilliant, joker. I'll never again present comp copy without blushing.

Me said...

Laughed so hard, cried.

Thank you for that.

Kelly said...

wow, when i get my Lorem Ipsum tattoo it's going to have a totally different meaning now!

Thinking In Vain said...

You. Are. Awesome.

p.s. Taking Latin made that even funnier.

Joshua Shaner said...

Fuckin' hilarious!

joker said...

Adbroad - nothing like getting a sweet gal to blush lol. But just hope you don't break out in a fit in the middle of the presentation.... though that would make a hell of a story.

Me - only tears I like to generate though having people snort any type of liquid out their nose is just as satisfying.

Kelly - I hope that didnt jynx the tatt though wondering where you'd put the lorem ipsum and what your original meaning was. Hmmm...

Tiv - my blushing thanks hun. Wonder how your experience with Latin totally made everything sound twice as messed up tho. :D


joker said...

Josh, Didn't overlook you, just posted the comment at the same time. Many thanks and hey, feel free to record it and put it on youtube lol. I would but then the whole anonymous schtick gets lost so I'm screwed lol.

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