Cock Fingering

I've been meaning to vent for a while and hadn't found the right time to do so but after letting the kettle boil for a while a more than whistle dixie, there's time to write about cock fingering. If you're so massively bored that you really can't find anything to do with your time, feel free to put this term into the search bar on yahoo.com, fuck google or googling, just look for a picture of cock fingering.

I'd post a link but I don't feel the need since the terminology utilized should suffice. Take an erect penis with a dialated urethra and wiggle your pinky where the piss comes out from. If by any chance you have a cock and actually tried this there's two things you have to notice... 1.) I didn't really mean to do it and I'm not about to stretch the lining of my little jester just to prove a point or experiment & 2.) it's fucking pointless, a waste of time, stupid and more trouble than it's worth.

The second one is what I'm referring to and lately there's just too much cock fingering going around. On Monday I wasted 4 and a half hours on meetings that proved nothing, solved nothing and brought forth issues that stevie wonder could clearly see and his seeing eye dog would probably piss on. If anything you can say about me as a copywriter is that though creativity might be better some days more so than others, I'm always on top of my shit, I get the work done and I hate wasting time and energy whereas other people LIVE for this.

They diddle and daddle with their cocks, literal or figurative, and they twist and turn and cavort their would be mental scrotums over innane shit that shouldn't be discussed in full for two hours while people are bored, not paying attention, hungry and completely possessed by apathy. But nay... the cock fingering continues as if someone had to pick the dick snot right out of the would be cock.

There is such as thing about people being clear on a company's situation, there is such a thing as a pro-active meeting where people put forth certain topics that truly concern them and then there's the fucking Ad run-arounds I keep finding myself twirling in no matter where I work at.

"Execs need to respect job due dates."

- Fucking brilliant insight. No one who has ever worked in creative has NO clue that this happens every fucking day of our lives.

"It would be better to get revisions handed in all at once rather than Britta filtered one change at a time."

- Another incredible insight. Jesus, read our fucking blog why don't you.


Honestly, it got to a point where I almost had to think of a happy place, embrace my power animal and disconnect from the stupid. I look at my watch, another twenty minutes of my life wasted in corporate circle jerking that won't amount to shit. People still get fired, employees are underpaid and overworked but we still have to high five each other for forty minutes because that's more important than me getting the work done.

Diddle daddle with that cock Mr. Man, you know I really don't need to be doing my work now. Hell no, I can always get started on my work at 5:30 PM because hey I work in advertising and I signed up to not have a life, do work that leaves me feeling like the kid in 8th grade that got convinced that jerking off with Icy Hot was the best thing in the world. I don't need to do the twenty rush jobs that need to be handed in today so I can get the revisions in on time because I need to shift the registered mark of the logo one nano meter to the upper left corner thus aligning the register with the fourth letter of the headline because that's what you felt like today.

No, instead I'll pull down my pants, rub the head of my cock until I get a lukewarm creative hardon and then cock finger that creative fallice until a little bubble of creative juice drips forth to see if I can rub it over one of the jobs I have to really give some thought but I can't because I'm too busy discussing what better methods to send JPG's can be applied in our company to further promote effective communication between my left and right testicles.

Seriously people, if you see someone doing some major amounts of cock fingering, feel free to either call them out or do a ring with your thumb and index finger and then diddle with your pinky in the official sign of cock fingering to see if they get the picture, smell the coffee and get out of the way of people who want to get shit done.