It has been ages since I sat down in an interview. But browsing the internet, I found these, which are supposed to be the top 10 questions that someone would ask you when looking for a job... I found them so damn funny, I decided to post them to see what you guys answered... So here again, another way of not working today. Enjoy.
1) What Are Your Weaknesses?
2) Why Should We Hire You?
3) Why Do You Want to Work Here?
4) What Are Your Goals?
5) Why Did You Leave (Or Why Are You Leaving) Your Job?
6) When Were You Most Satisfied in Your Job?
7) What Can You Do for Us That Other Candidates Can't?
8) What Are Three Positive Things Your Last Boss Would Say About You?
9) What Salary Are You Seeking?
10) If You Were an Animal, Which One Would You Want to Be?
3 comments:
1) What Are Your Weaknesses?
Men with money. Um... how old is your CEO, anyways? Is he single? Nah, don't worry, I'm a slut so it doesn't really matter.
2) Why Should We Hire You?
Because I have a gun in my purse and I am dying to use it. Also, I know Kung Fu.
3) Why Do You Want to Work Here?
Because McDonald's doesn't have Happy Hours. At least, not that I know of. Also, I have low expectations.
4) What Are Your Goals?
Fly. Read minds. Be invisible. I can dream, can I?
5) Why Did You Leave (Or Why Are You Leaving) Your Job?
I can't answer that without a lawyer. Besides, they are still collecting evidence.
6) When Were You Most Satisfied in Your Job?
Ask the designer in the third cubicle. Yeah. He likes it when I give it to him.
7) What Can You Do for Us That Other Candidates Can't?
Well. Um. I'm really bendy.
8) What Are Three Positive Things Your Last Boss Would Say About You?
She always got in on time. She always delivered. I'm not the father of the baby.
9) What Salary Are You Seeking?
The one that makes you vomit a little bit in your mouth.
10) If You Were an Animal, Which One Would You Want to Be?
(Long pause)... (Thinking) What kind of... (Pause) Is it animal you asked? (Long pause) Hehehe. Can you give me the drug you are in right now? WHAT KIND OF A STUPID QUESTION IS THAT? Allright fucko. I'll play along. Platypus. Suck on that one for a while.
By the way. Thank you for the opportunity. Hope to hear from you soon, Kitty Cat.
1) What Are Your Weaknesses?
I work too hard, and I tend to do whatever AEs tell me to do.
2) Why Should We Hire You?
Just look at my portfolio. It’s filled with retail print work that features huge logos, giant price points and inane copy that hits all the bullet points at least twice.
3) Why Do You Want to Work Here?
I’ve heard that your CEO is an alcoholic. And that means kick-ass office parties.
4) What Are Your Goals?
Get a couple of spots for my reel and pay my mortgage.
5) Why Did You Leave (Or Why Are You Leaving) Your Job?
I cared too much. Also stole a laptop.
6) When Were You Most Satisfied in Your Job?
Fridays at 5pm.
7) What Can You Do for Us That Other Candidates Can't?
I can tell you that your lame out-of-date ideas are fresh. I can agree with you that advertising design hit its peak in the 1980’s. I can nod my head while you say that Blink182 and MySpace are the hottest teen trends today.
8) What Are Three Positive Things Your Last Boss Would Say About You?
1. Who?
2. Not sure I remember him?
3. He might have been here for a month or two.
9) What Salary Are You Seeking?
Whatever you spend on car detailing.
10) If You Were an Animal, Which One Would You Want to Be?
I am an animal. (Stolen from Douglas Coupland)
1) What Are Your Weaknesses?
Thigh high stockings, ESPN Classic, Mrs. Joker in high heels and a short skirt, white chocolate and sushi.
Work related I think it would have to be a tie between the voices in my head and my homicidal tendencies.
2) Why Should We Hire You?
Because you need someone to blame for your shortcomings when you impose your opinion and there's nothing better than a scapegoat. beh~e~e~e~
3) Why Do You Want to Work Here?
Because I'm sure I can convince you I earn more than what I'm really earning while you insist that you pushed the money to the max when I know you can offer an extra 5K. in reality I despise my current job and am looking to a new place to hate and you seem to fit the bill perfectly. Besides, I enjoy places where going postal could benefit the world and from the looks of it, Darwin would most definitely approve of some office cleansing courtesy of an UZI.
4) What Are Your Goals?
Using all your office supplies, having a kick ass computer to watch youtube and play youriding.com and earning enough money to have luxurious meals I'll anyways pass through expense.
5) Why Did You Leave (Or Why Are You Leaving) Your Job?
Because the boss was a dingle berry, much like yourself except that I still haven't gotten to really know you and I wonder how much I can hate you in a pre-determined time frame.
6) When Were You Most Satisfied in Your Job?
When I gave the man the finger and if you're lucky, you can have the same dedication to mediocrity and apathy that oozed from my pores once I gave up on doing my best.
7) What Can You Do for Us That Other Candidates Can't?
I can juggle my balls with my left hand then rub your face with the same hand. I can also convince you I'm ultra hard working, diligent and responsible to further justify the salary you are trying to not give me.
8) What Are Three Positive Things Your Last Boss Would Say About You?
I don't know, it's hard to understand a person while they're choking on their own blood. One of them might have been "but grandma, what a big knife you have", but I can't be certain.
9) What Salary Are You Seeking?
Yours and your job too.
10) If You Were an Animal, Which One Would You Want to Be?
The one that would be feeding on your rotting corpse. Though I could also be either a bird to fly the fuck out of here or a pig so I could enjoy a 30 minute orgasm.
Check this shit out though... my word verification... you gotta be kidding me:
ufgtlov
To show what I saw here's some help...
uf gt lov.......
can't help but smile
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