Jun 23, 2008

Another dead American Hero

George Carlin died yesterday. That's a hell of a first sentence to write for me. You see people often have heroes more becoming to your typical archetype. Some people had JFK, Martin Luther King, Ghandi and the norm. Me? I have comedians, musicians and writers who have opened existential doors in my life. People who have said things that might seem a tad bit irrational to some but that made all the sense in the world for me.

Such is George Carlin. Ranked with Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor as one of my three favorite comedians, it's sad to see that all my comedic heroes have passed on to a supposed better life. The first having been Bill Hicks, later Pryor, and now the guy who couldn't help but have something otherworldly intelligent in his act only to follow with observations of pussy farts, jacking off, corn holing and or the eight best ways to use an electric dildo. He looked like a guy you could enjoy having tea, a beer, or snorting coke with. He was outlandish in much of the shit he pulled off and had been pissing off the conservative right for the better part of forty years. That's a hell of a testament for any performer but for a comedian, it's downright scary to see him keep it up that long and still be relevant.

Some people have said that he wasn't that good in his last couple of standups. I'd like to say "no shit, he's 70" but I don't think I need to since his last standup had me musing on his crazy rants as usual and had me either nodding or shaking my head from side to side with the things he said in public. His gift to me was a fresh perspective on life, much like Bill Hicks while Richard Pryor showed me what a true story teller has to be. They each had their own spice that made me not be able to get enough of them and they each nurtured thought patterns from my brain that would have otherwise not existed.

I'd even say something on the lines of I'm so sad, and in part that's true, but having that sort of a track record and having done so much in life, it's a bit dumb to feel too sad. He's going to always be remembered as one of the best comedians in life, his material shall always make way too much sense for some people to handle and he was embraced by all the people that really agree that we're being fucked every day of our lives by a socio-economic system that gives two fucks of whether we live, we die or we blow a marsupial.

That being said, well here's my best attempt to say thanks to the old fucker:

Georgie boy. Seeing as people can write to Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or even Jesus and not feel shame, I'm taking this chance to write to you. Not so you can put a good word for me with God, lord knows you don't think he exists and he'd resent me for asking such a favor from such a confused sheep within the flock. Nah, I'm writing because you're dead and well, logical as it might have been to write a fan letter when you might have been able to read it, here's me being unfashionably late and directing a message to a quickly rotting corpse that used to house something or someone whom I used to love for the weirdest of reasons. Maybe you could make a case that this letter is being made to the worms in your body, or maybe this message will get to you via some weird celestial connection to the Internet. Hell just Google your name and I might be on that list of people writing to ya. Ok, so you're dead. I'd ask how it feels but something tells me I won't get an answer, and that's some tough shit since we all have that proverbial moral hemorrhoidal itch regarding whether there's a heaven, or a hell so we can finally make up for lost time and pray our asses off in a vain attempt to appease a God that went from being the baddest son of a bitch in the universe, to being forgiving, light hearted, and carefree even. But that's all a bunch of mumbo jumbo right? Hope you don't resurrect though, because that would scare me for a bunch of reasons, namely that I've been watching too many zombie movies, but also because if you do resurrect, well that might make you the new messiah and sorry for not having that vote of confidence buddy, but a guy armed with dick jokes doesn't exactly prepare me for the Apocalypse. Or does it? See, maybe we expect spiritual enlightenment to be something ethereal, intense and even a bit gay or romantic, like a moral bareback mountain we need to climb to see that it's ok to want to bang someone even if they smell of chaw, old pissed leather and horse cum. Why might you be part of the solution? Well if we're going to get royally fucked, I think it's more important to be able to laugh it off than to feel enlightened because I'm not Ancient Greek like that. Yeah Georgie boy, ya left us here to ponder how the fuck we're going to make it in this grand scheme of things. True, we might give a shit, but like you said, it's bad for ya. But apathy is also bad for ya. Although, recent studies show that everything's bad for ya, everything causes some type of cancer and food that can help us fight against cancer is tainted with some other disease so we're in a catch 91.4 which is a catch twenty two crossed with a 69 and ruined by a period, the 4 is in there just because I like that number and I think so much of ya buddy. And please, let us not forget about the bird flu... That's definitely going to kill us even if when you say a sentence with it out loud, it doesn't make much sense: Bird flu will kill us... I can imagine someone saying: no no no, the flying bird will kill us not bird flew will kill us, that doesn't make any sense, and neither does life Georgie. But I look around, and I realize that beginning with your 7 oral sins and leading up to the generous descriptions of pussy farts or great product ideas like Sprunt or the Sleep and Fuck, life won't be exactly the same without ya. It was a great ride and I was able to watch from afar for some time and gently scratch my chin or my balls, depending on the circumstances and the level of relaxation and think. You were a foul mouthed God doubting mother fucker and we all loved you for it. Take care and be sure to give St. Peter a wedgie from all of us. One last thought though, funny that you made me laugh until I cried before and now I might just cry until I laugh. Take care, Godbless, bang a lot of angels, and fuck you very very much.

cheers

4 comments:

auntie Christ said...

My favorite line of his....

"If they can't take a fuck, joke 'em."

Me said...

Hun that was a great tribute.

Lucila said...

Last week I was talking about him and actually said "I'm so afraid that he's going to die soon." And bam! I am so broken hearted.

Me said...

I was talking to Travis the other day about things we wanted to do soon, and seeing Carlin live was one of my top 10. This is a sad day...

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