Jun 30, 2008

The Continued Creative Guidance for Youth

11. Arrogance is paramount. No one trusts a humble creative so feel free and proud to declare along with me: “I wipe my bottom with the names of Ogilvy, J. Walter Thompson and that Leo guy.”

12. If someone's memory fails, be sure to be there as the kind reminder that your creative brilliance once came up with the most brilliant concept that won you a prize in an ad festival. That it was held in Lithuania takes nothing away from your grandness and this was truly a milestone in the field of creativity.

13. A true creative smells creative. Cigarettes, patchouli, Drakkar and a hint of coke (cola) and whiskey have served me well, as I'm sure it will serve you, if you choose to follow my wise footsteps.

14. Drugs, drugs and more drugs. There is no such thing as a sober creative.

15. Shaving is by far the worst thing you can do for your creative career. Unkempt fur screams creative and females can especially take note of this since you have more places to grow hair and declare your creativity.

16. If in America, travel to Europe. If in Europe travel to South America. If in South America Travel to Asia. If in Asia travel to Australia. If in Australia travel to Damascus. If in Damascus you shouldn't be working in advertising, how did you get here. On your travels feel free to pick up some exotic non-existent accent*. (See next step.)

17. Have an accent. Creatives come from everywhere. But real creatives come from places where frog is delicatessen, fries are not French, odd alcohols roam the streets and terrible music you can only find in three stores or as the background music to snuff films is part of your newfound mantra.

18. Entry before 10 AM deems you unfit to even set foot in the creative department. Never forget this.

19. Paying for your own things is one of the dumbest things any human can do, much less a creative. There are expense sheets for a reason. Run the tab then ask production to hide your perks, after all, that is what production is there for.

20. Own an iPod, an iPhone, an iMac and any product that has a small case i in front of a Capital letter.


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