Jun 29, 2008

Diary of an Intern Day 7

Week 2 Day 2

Officially no one scares me more than Mandy and if people start calling her Carrie, I'm not surprised and I wouldn't be surprised either if people start dying from telekenisis and the agency catches fire. Luckily no one picks on her, but she looks like one of those twins from the Shining all grown up. Clothing, hairstyle, everything screams that she's taken a one way ticket from The Village to land into this agency. Again we were told to be in our dry walled cell and I just couldn't hold another day in there. I'm not in jail, I didn't punch anyone and if that's how creativity works best, I'd rather go the hellhole of accounting. Speaking of which, I met Greg and Maddy from accounting. They were real nice to me actually and seemed pretty normal even working in this twilight zone. They even gave me some donuts they had there and made some chit chat. I saw Robert making puppy eyes with Louis J. while the latter did his whole speech on creativity. Man if there were prizes on bullshit, this guy would have a pulitzer, a nobel and an academy award. Still insist he whack off with nipple clamps while calling his own name out looking at the mirror, if I ever have to get him a gift let me jot down to get him some grooming products. Fucker looks like the love child of Danny Devitto and Sasquatch. Needless to say, I bolted as quickly as possible. Not in the mood to watch Robert kiss the ground Heir Numnuts walks on. And I almost got caught by Frank who needed some help with some more clippings and I said that Becky was looking for something to do. SO I'll get threatened by the douche, at least I'll get to see her perfectly manicured fingers stained with Newspaper ink. Jenny and Julie have become one of those best friends you constantly ask yourself whether they go down on each other because they're such best friend and all I'm going to say is that I hope the cam is on record for our benefit. I could help em market it, Interns Gone Wild, or Intimate Interns. Might ask Jerry for help on that, he'll definitely have some good ideas for that. I bumped into Suzanne and honestly, I'd ask why that girl is in the Traffic department, but she seems capable of doing whatever they put in front of her. You know, the type of person that makes you feel like you suck for not trying harder. Then I bumped into John, the cool ACD and he asked me how everything was and when I told him we were holed up in that little shit room he did a kind of pity laugh and asked me if I wanted to go where he and his team worked at. Though duh passed as a possible answer, I settled for a sure and got to meet George and Ray presented as the Zombie Squad. Seems like work distribution is not the best in this agency and that some people are overworked. Ray has eyes like a raccoon from all the long nights and George could pass as the lead singer of a band since he brings a new definition to the word skinny. I looked for synonyms on the computer they gave me to sit at and one was gaunt, that was pretty much what it was. John later told me George's apetite locks up under extreme stress and that 4 months of such will do that to you. Between the three I got about 35 suggestions of other careers and they showed me a long blog roll of sites dedicated to the hateful industry of advertising. John told me to just read that for a while and to swing by tomorrow and that if I did good, he'd let me bring one of the other interns along, so it was up to me to rescue them. All I know is that at least I got out of the box and into a bigger box but at least I don't have to smell old spit, cheap cologne and stale air. Fine by me. Lets see how tomorrow is.


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