I give thanks to cock

When giving thanks, people go through a variety of people to be grateful for and give due thanks. The big people, the little people, the medium people, the “pointing to the left in my pants” people, the family and God (especially if you’re a politician or a sports star). Not us here at WAS. We give thanks to the cock. We would also like to thank cock fingering, cumshot vomit and of course, Ogilvy sucking. We don’t give thanks to the Academy, we could actually give a rats ass about the Academy. That’s because of one simple reason. The Academy doesn’t bring people to Why Advertising Sucks… but cock does. Big veiny cock, cumshot vomiting, cock fingering and another series of interesting phrases are what brings the most people to the site in regards to word related searches.

See, people get to sites often because of word related searches, so if for instance I write “he pulled his pulsating cock from her damp cunt only to spray her with jizz” that should be reflected in a spike of visitors to our site because for some reason, having the phrase cock fingering as a title of a post is endlessly more compelling, at least as far as word related searches are concerned. So where I sometimes find myself trying to clean up a post to make it more accessible to people, it seems the dirtier we write, the more uninterested people get to this site… but wait… we give a shit about what we write… but alas… we also like fucking with the system. So pardon me for one second.

“She spit on his cock, called him a beautiful scum bag and begged him to fuck her in the ass.” That should at least bring 10 more horny perverts looking for some sweet sweet ass pics or the latest Penthouse letter written by someone who hasn’t gotten laid in 5 years and writes posing as a woman who recently cheated on her husband and let another man fill her poon with gummy juice. Whoopps… three more pervs slipped into WAS because of that.

That’s the beauty of search engines and horndogs. As long as there’s the faint glimmer of free goatse pictures to crusticize their keyboards to, there’s a chance we might get some random readers. One would think that the Fortune Cookies, Me’s honest posts, Restrictions wisdom laden posts or whatever random links we put pull more people to this site, but anything we can think of and write pales in comparison to the power of cock fingering. To make matters more bizarre, penis licking, also known as cock fingering’s local cousin is a major pull for search related finds from people on the net. What’s the best part though? We’re getting credit for shit I don’t remember any of us ever writing like bikini judo. That’s right, a scantily clad martial arts discipline hauls people into this site like baby cubs to a lactating titty. So then my little fucked up mind got to thinking, why not have some extra fun with this little phenomenon…..

Here are some random things I’d love to say to the face of my clients while getting more random web hits.

Yo Johnny three thumbs, not only do you have a small cock that isn’t good for much in this world, you recently got promoted to head cock licker. I hope you enjoy a career of lacing your bosses pathetic excuse for a rectum with pieces of cocoa butter to simultaneously moisturize both your bungs, his the one that tosses shit you’d happily dine on for a promotion, and you the one you use to talk yourself out of blame.

Excuse me Cindy Camel Heel, if your vagina was any wider you’d need a car wash sponge for your period. Stop sucking cock, start doing your job and by all means, lick my sweaty asshole.

Hello Carrie Caprice, could you please stop fingering your hairy asshole long enough to give me the information I need to do my job and not keep sacrificing my Friday evenings while you look in the mirror picking the pussy boogers you keep under your office chair? Thank you.

Hi Mikey Cock Wafter, I’m sure you’re plenty busy going down on your boss’ massive Viagra pumped Cyclops, but if it’s not too much trouble, one set of revisions is more than enough. Cheers.

To continue to prove the point might I add these few things…

Cock, penis, dick, pussy, vagina, hairy bush, Two Girls One Cup, Three Girls One Cup, Two Girls One Cup Three Guys and a Chihuahua, trouser snake, hot sloppy sex and of course deep cock fingering.

To those people who truly enjoy what we write, our sincere thanks. And to those who got here by accident? Well… there’s no such thing as an accident, is there? :)

Ciao