Jun 16, 2008

Psssttt..... Happy B-day

Ok so I can’t sing the birthday song because it would sound ultra weird, but I can send the best bday wishes to one of the best friends life has ever given me. When I say life has given me, I like making that distinction because though we can’t choose our family, we can choose those friends who far exceed the requirements to be family.

You see there are ‘friends’ and then there are Friends. There are the people that you call to ask about the score in a game and there are friends you call when you zip your pants up when you haven’t stored the package. There are friends you email from time to time to see what they’re up to since you can’t tell from the pictures you see on their Facebook, and then there are people you call because your entire system is nonplussed from not having had the minimum dose of required exposure to them. In essence, there are friends, and then there’s famiglia.

Me is famiglia because if anything I admire and agree with her is that in life, sometimes you need to have a mafia mentality. More in reference to loyalty, balls and busting your quijones than it comes to slitting Vinnie Two Lip’s throat though. Me is an example of what I call a real friend on pretty much every level regarding friend status, because she never lets one down, always has a minute to spare and always a kind word to attempt to steer this wayward barge on the right or a better path than what has been my professional case.

People read this blog and wonder countless things about Me? How tall is she? Is she a hottie? Does she have a sweet ass? Is she the type of woman to finger you while blowing you if you’ve been a bad boy? And countless other gems. What I’m here to say is that she’s that and much more. She’s 7 feet tall, wears high heels and practices Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. Her fists are mighty and her glutes are electric. She’s got hair on her ovaries and she dry shaves. She’s the shit, she’s the bomb and you wish you could have her children, but she’d probably shatter your pelvis in the process so stay away. She’s not the man, much too little for her. She’s half myth, half legend and half crazy. That makes three halves and yes, she can do such a feat because that’s Me.

Two parts Hulk, three parts Xena Warrior Princess, a dab of copy & art director, a heapful of bravado and Full on Corleone. She’s delicate and gentle yet aggressive and unforgiving. She’s a hero, she’s more than the man and she’s my friend.

To you a most belated or early happy birthday dear friend.


Me said...

Aaaaaaargh you made me cry. I must kick you in the balls in a loving manner. Hehehe. Thank you for that lovely post... Snif. I'm leaking...

Me said...

BTW: I knew I was a dead Godfather fan when I knew for sure that if I have a boy, I will call him Santino.

Jesus. I hope he becomes a Mafia dude. You know, you have to have high hopes for your children...

I just can picture it now. Mom? I need to drop a body fast... Tell Dad to open up the garage in 5 minutes!!!


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