Suck my Stock

On this very special Friday June 27th, I’d like to give my most esteemed thanks to someone I refer to amicably as Mr. Getty. For all your trouble and hardwork, I have had the delight of having to change the way I think creatively because instead of thinking of the most creative way I could do a layout, I have to sit with my artist to think about the coolest way I can make a layout using the available images in your server. Countless hours have been enjoyed when a direct competitor of one of my clients demonstrates just how homogenous client idiocy can be by pin-pointing the exact same shot of elated individuals that will refinance their home.

As if this experience in itself weren’t satisfying enough, I am able to enjoy comments of “$200 for a photo without the artwork included? That’s too expensive!!”. Yes, my life has become that more delicious thanks to the musings of Sans Royalty dynasty of lame images that look as lame as the cheapest option should look. Also of note and a definite reasons to rejoice is this nifty new trend I’ve been able to develop in where stock footage is being utilized to communicate concepts rather than doing the tried and true (and obviously boring) way of making the commercial you want, by clicking record in the general direction of talents doing the script EXACTLY as you wrote it rather than writing in regards to whatever piece of cinematographic excellence exists in increments of 4-12 seconds.

Thank you Mr. Getty, if it weren’t for you, my clients couldn’t be able to enjoy lowering commercial costs to record lows along with their sales, a trend we most definitely think showcases the power and beauty of stock images and footage. Lest we forget, there is also that teeny bit o beauty in stock music that has given us such hits as:

1. Seinfeldy, ping-pongy active jazz
2. Edgy hip hop track #22
3. Tried and true ’93 beach rock track
4. Sports & entertainment anthem #42
5. Spa meditation with panflute and Japanese koto #3

And many more

Because after all, a real creative never needs to step one foot away from the constraints of the lowest possible costing material. That would be as my clients have so succinctly put, silly.


* Feel free to add Creativity before the rest of the product illustrated.