Jul 17, 2008

Creative Guidance to save our youth

You need this information and I need a latte, so get reading and get creative.

41. Normal water should be stricken from your diet. Fiji Water, Peregrinno or Perrier. Anything else is an insult to the creative temple that is your body.

42. Keep a bottle of your favorite type of alcohol visible in your work place and or office. This signals your tribute to Hemingway and the enlightened path to true creativity. It begins with a sip and finishes with regurgitation.

43. Buy the most expensive pen in existence even if you’ve forgotten how to use one. Constantly let people know the cost per flowing ounce of your precious fountain pen and put it on display at your desk.

44. Have the most ridiculously complex instructions for your coffee AND your food because people who know exactly how they want their coffee show what it means to pay attention to details because a latte with 3/4 of a pack of sugar shall never taste the same as one whole pack and you have to have standards.

45. Treat members of the traffic and media department as if they are your maids, because even though they are “the help” they don’t help much and you know real genius only comes from the mind of a finely groomed creative.

46. For Christmas, give a single card with one quote from someone. Money shall never substitute knowledge especially when you need to get your mystery Santa a gift.

47. Buy a sitar and practice at 3 PM.

48. Arrive late for meetings smelling of hooker pussy and marijuana. That definitely communicates a creative mind way at work.

49. Line your entire desk area with post its with sayings, appointments, passwords and telephone numbers then ask someone to check something on the second one on the back left part of the front of your computer.

50. When passing by anyone’s desk, look them in the eye and say something on the lines of: “the emerald is best gazed upon with light coming from the pure.” Then leave. This undoubtedly makes you a real creative, since enigma and pure what the fuckness is your base.

2 comments:

adhack said...

49. You have perfectly described my desk.

shaun. said...

i love these....

keep them coming.

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