Aug 17, 2008

My eyes are open

DISCLAIMER, if you're looking for something funny witty or purely random, this might not be the post for you.

For two weeks now I've gotten out of work past 1 AM 5 days. I've gotten out after 3 AM twice and only twice have I had the joy of getting out at a "normal" time. By normal I of course mean 7:30 Pm and 8 PM. The rest? Long night having dinner with co-workers, you know those people that they are your second family merely because of all the time you spend together with them.

Recently in one of my Joker 20-20 reviews, Jetpacks among had the foresight to foreshadow my feelings this week with one question. It's not a small question and I think I answered as honestly as I could... at that moment. A couple of days later, I'd like to revisit that answer.

What was the question?

"Are you sufficiently jaded yet that you have considered a career in something that doesn't involve selling your soul?"

If you'd like to read the initial answer, feel free to scroll down to the interview page, read it and compare to what I'm about to write.

Lets take the question and see how I want to answer it... now.

First off lets divide the question into three parts and see how my mind initialy processed it and how it's changed.

Are you sufficiently jaded?

The answer just a few days atfer you asked has changed significantly and I'm proud to report that instead of the would be fair level headed answer from earlier on, right now I'm a bit more emotionally charged and can deliver an answer from my gut rather than my brain. Yes I am sufficiently jaded. I'm a fucking dragon jaded. My eyes are green even. Just in case anyone needs specific clarification to the definition of jaded, here it is:

worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse.

I've been overworked since day one in this industry and that's why I was so eager to join this blog to let the world know how much the industry sucks. How inhuman, unfair, lame, incompetent,frustrating, idiotic, time consuming, time wasting and futile it can actually get to be to work in advertising. True, there have been good projects but I simply don't get a fraction of satisfaction of what I put into this job. I've worked on some great accounts, I've had projects I'm genuinely proud of. The other 97% of what I've done with five years of my life, plus the years interning and working for free (add 3 to that one) and you can see why I'm feeling a little on the jaded side.

This week I have gone through way too much bullshit and only got a break on my birthday, and I was let known that it was solely because of my birthday that I was taken into consideration about, oh say 12 times. As if busting my ass wasn't fun enough, I then had the sheer joy of having to work around a famaily event yesterday. If you're not sure what that means, here's a sumup. I got into work at 9:30 AM after a hellish week to work until 2:20 PM to go to a family event, have people smile that I at least got the gathering if not for the ceremony per se. I'm looking kind of like a well groomed racoon at this moment because this week I haven't had the best run of sleeping... more on that in another post solely dedicated to that. After about two hours out of the agency, I say sorry guys, I gotta jet and get back to work. Then I had the utter joy of working until 4 AM. And that's just the work load.

The morning was the best part, I talk with my supervisor and I say that I talked with my family, told them I'd skip the baptism so I could be more time in the agency and would go to the event afterwards because we talked it over and they told me it was fine and that they understood my situation. My supervisor wasn't exactly on the same page as my family and she was pissed that I'd skip the baptism which was the most important part of the day, would go to party hardy and instead of going to the ceremony and returning, I would stay longer to try and solve things rather than spend more than 15 hours at my agency on a Saturday. I was offered, advice and guidance and words of wisdom regarding how she did not need to be told she had to get off a plane so she could work a new business at the agency. I was also told that her and the CD hadn't seen me super motivated to work the New Business throughout the week. To boot, I'd also been told that I was super motivated for a much cooler NB and showed great enthusiasm while for this one I was more on the lines of being sardonic. I was told that i wasn't proactive enough and was also offered insight on how my supervisor had warned someone who had worked before me that your social life shall totally be affected because of this business... She told me this because she was concerned for my safety regarding my job position because I hadn't been involved enough in the proyect. I told her that I was trying to make everyone happy to maintain a balance in life and therein was my fault. I actually cared for my quality of life and for my loved ones. It was even suggested that I not go to anything at all during the day because hey, I had to work. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy at the "friendly advice" I was offered.

Second part of the question I'd like to focus on.

"that you have considered a career in something "
I have given this great thought since yesterday while working as angry as I think I've ever worked and I'm currently asking myself what I want to do with my life that isn't advertising. I have some ideas but I'm not currently clear on what to do at the moment. I'm not hitting blanks I'm just not sure what I want to do, oh except advertising, I'm sure I don't want to do this for much longer if this is the great life that awaits me.

Third part of the question:

"that doesn't involve selling your soul?"

I've learned that I'm not willing to sell my soul to make an ad or for anything for that matter but that advertising assholes are more than willing to have you sign that dotted line of your soul lease.

We all have goals and we should constantly modify them to suit what is in our best interest to feel fulfilled. I have come up with a new goal after all the ad fun I've had the honor to enjoy... I want to be out of this industry in 2-3 years.

So what do you think? Would that classify as feeling jaded?


Me said...

Dude. Now I feel like I'm not going crazy. I checked the blog's incoming traffic and I saw you clicking away from your office at a inhuman hour. I thought, shit, the blog analyzer is crap.

This has to be the most disturbing post in a long time. It reminded me of all those wasted hours and not so great comments coming from higher ups.

All I can say is, watch your back. Sometimes these kinds of things happen, from time to time. Mainly because of stupid people not working to their full abilities - or just giving a huge fuck about deadlines. Those kinds of assholes makes me not want to return to a formal ad agency ever again, even if it paid good enough.

So, watch your back. It is law that we will all get overworked at some point but, and a big but: if it gets to repetitive... REO Speedwagon (shit as hell band alert) said it best: time for you to fly.

Much love from someone who hardly ever sleeps. (Now I am left thinking that maybe my insomnia has been caused by more than a decade of working on this shit. Fuck, food for thought)

Thinking In Vain said...

Ugh. Oh no.

Your supervisor is a bitch.

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