Oct 21, 2008

Death to the Yes Men

God I fucking hate Yes Men. There are really few things that piss me off more than having an exec that acquiesces to EVERY whim of a client. They auto-describe themselves as go-getters, client liaisons, service specialists or the ones who solve every problem and though I have met some excellent AE’s in my life, I’ve far run the reserves of my patience on fuckwads that seem only to eager to fetch a stick for a client. Recently I’ve had the chance to see what has to be the single greatest ass kisser I’ve ever had the nauseating delight to meet. Seriously, this fucker should be sponsored by Chap Stick.

To offer some background regarding the type of character the butt sniffer in question is, think of that time you began to work on an account and you thought you could make the biggest difference in the world. You were motivated, thrilled and eager to get your creative juices going so you could offer your version of what THE SOLUTION really should be. Ok, now remember the frustrating experience you rummaged through while searching for something your oh so brilliant client would just finally approve. Taking that experience into account, focus on that first energetic burst you had and realize that this is wonderful occurance that you've lived through at least once because maybe you genuinely wanted to help.

Ok, having taking that little bit of experience from your life, stain it with a guy who pretty much says everything in the agency sucks, works against progress and that now that he has arrived (I won’t allow gender to be anonymous this time), the messianic prophecy proclaiming the future success of the brand is guaranteed. He shall use his mighty guidance to lead us to the promised land and he’ll be there for the client every step of the way, because these people KNOW what they’re talking about and they’re clear on the direction they want to take. It’s just that creative has fucked up ever since the account arrived in the agency (meaning way before I ever got the delicious opportunity to slam my head against anything concrete each time the client changes strategy once the layout is complete). Holier than thou attitudes, agency and creative besmirching, a George Bush cock sure attitude even though he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, over selling themselves and of course, licking the ground the client walks upon.

I have a few questions regarding this messiah. If you so agree and love this client so much (a pain in the ass client I might add).

1. What do you get from bashing everyone who is supposed to be on your team?

Better rapport with the client. A higher sense of being. Thinking you’re hot shit and that you will single handedly change the minds of three people that can’t agree on one direction for their brand no matter how much sense has been spoken?

2. Why do you say yes to everything they say without even thinking what they’re asking first?

It’s almost prompting a professional date rape with due dates, revisions and client centered creative input (mandatory changes).

3. Why is the problem always on the agency side?

No one is infallible much less people from marketing who live in their own brand bubbles.

4. When was the last time you said anything remotely honest to a co-worker or your client?

I don’t expect an answer for this one.

5. Do you groom your lips for better smoochery?

It sure does seem that way and all I can think about every time you open your mouth is how proud James Lipton would be.

So to Yesmen and women all over the Advosphere, feel free to learn how to say no once in a while. It’s not the first time I’ve written about this and I’m disappointed to know that it won’t be the last.

By the way, I’m actually quite conscious of the situation most AE’s go through. My Mrs. is an AE and I assisted two AE’s when beginning in advertising so don’t think I don’t appreciate the shitty situations you are quite often pushed into but please don’t insist that it’s always someone else’s fault and that you can never say no. Actually showing some spine has been extremely excellent for various people regarding their client relationships and the quality of work, not to mention self esteem so don’t think it’s a bloody crime to say no when something is out of place, out of line, or out of reach. Being realistic shall forever be a better choice and though at times we have to bite the bullet, that doesn’t mean we need a daily supplement.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...