Dec 1, 2008

Beware the Cock Demon

Though the term Cock Demon might actually refer to any of a number of idiotic fuckwads i've encountered throughout my life, the specific Cock Demon I refer to now is not one that afflicts me externally, but internally and please, feel free to refrain from trying to find any gay connotation in that terminology even though it's there for the picking.

When I speak of Cock Demon in this point and time, I refer to the cuss ridden behemoth that is held at bay by company policies, etiquette and the fear of having my ass fired because I said something naughty, like for instance cock and all the various uses I can find for the word. You see, for a copy writer, words like cock and cunt, jizz, foreskin, necrophilia, menstrual flux and any term that might otherwise be used to gross the shit out of person actually feeds a little demon we all have inside of us. In my case, it's a cock demon because if there's a cuss word I love to use it has to be cock. Just the ease of how you can slide in cock into every day language to put that little cock stain where a harmless reference to a rooster, or a head movement is left in the delicious ambiguity where people don't know if you're referring to a man's salami sponge or what.

I can't help it, though I'm completely straight, love women and am completely devoted to Mrs. Joker, I love cock. I love cock with a passion because sometimes, you just need a good cock to get shit out of your system. Imagine those chance moments when someone really tests your patience and you fail the stress test. You have that safe word you need to belch out to exorcise those demons. Mine is cock. True, sometimes I just need some long winded insult containing the words cunt, custard, mustard, whey, muffet and phalopian, but sometimes, you just need a little cock.

Am I happy with my new job? Shit yes, but I have to take care of my language so much that it sometimes pisses me off. Sometimes I just want to bark out a slice of cock, or spew forth some cunts and pussies, maybe a little shit and jizz for color and texture. I find myself paining for a fix of cock once in a while because in an advertising context, cussing and saying your favorite swear words is second nature at the least. Shit often it's first nature. I don't know how many times during a brain storm we'd have to get out the ad ideas featuring cock before getting to work for real. That's because when you're a depraved copy writer, your ideal dream scenario has you coming up with the tridefecta of campaigns: A campaign for cock, a campaign for shit, and a campaign for piss. Trust me, if we could sell shit, piss or cock, we'd all get addy awards at the end of the year.

Fucking admit it, if not cock, you're into shit, and if not you're into constanting fucking where you see just how complicated a verb-noun structure you can construct using fuck as the mortar basis for your tower of cussery.

And in the new job I have to beat down my cock every time it wants to spring forth on some unsuspecting cubicle gnome. And it's true, often times I find myself yearning to whip out my cock in any random sentence just to test the waters and see if people can handle my cock and the passion that splurts forth from it and using it. I drink water, drink tea, piss like a racehorse, work like an animal, distract myself with real work, check my email, verify the surf, check the weather in places I want to fly to, double check the prices on amazon.com and still the cock is there humming gently waiting for me to free it to run rampant in every sentence I compose.

Cockety, cock-cock. I want to cock my cock so it cockedly cocks like a cock ought to cock. Cocka-Cola. Cockatoo. Cock the hammer. A crowing cock. The buzzcocks.

Any chance to fling a cock out there, I'm there. I'm eager and desperate for freedom of the cock and it just can't be. I can't just cock the hammer and leave things be.

For whatever it's worth though, just know that though I occasionally care for my language a little more than what is customary, be sure that my cock still pulsates strongly within me and forever I'll be here to serve up the cock for your cock consuming pleasure.

cheers

3 comments:

warren said...

even though it's there for the picking

Pricking. You meant pricking.

Joker said...

Didn't I mean cocking. He he he he. Who knows.

Me said...

Jesus dude. Awesome.

You got me thinking... my favorite curse word is "Fuck me". You can hear me say it during the day at the office quite a lot.

The funny thing is, Travis always replies: yes, come on!

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