Just a friendly reminder...

It's January. Month of the Rambo. Remember, we all have a promise to go see it the day it opens. Don't be a party pooper!!!

To pump you up some more, here's one desktop picture... Bring out the Rambo in you! (Click at the name of the post to go to the official website)

Brilliant: The Speechless Campaign

Here's the viral campaign for United Hollywood - um... if you don't know who these people are, you deserve a kick in the groin - and I think it's perfect. The fact that all major stars are participating on this makes me have a little bit of hope that soon all my favorite programs will come back.

Here's one, click at the YouTube logo inside the video for more:

WAS recommends: Gelaskins!

Does your MAC looks like someone took a dump all over it? Do you wish you could make your iPod even more cooler and not have it get so much scratches? Tired of all the shitty covers? Try Gelaskins. I have used them for quite a while to protect the love of my life, my iPod, and it has worked perfectly. It is like a decal that goes in your device, be it iPod or Computer, and its a little bit padded.

Gelaskins come in WAY COOL designs and are the right price for a cool ass cover. They deliver to the moon, so if you're interested, by all means click at the name of the post.

This ad has been free of charge, but if the Gelaskins people want to hook us up, by all means, you're welcome to do it!!!

New Design, people!

We've been looking at that white page too long. Let's start the new year with a kick ass design!!!

Let's say a big thank you to my lovely TravisFckr, for helping me out... I suck at HTML!!! You're a sweetheart, chulo!

Yowza!

The Bastard Break Up

A fridge in the office.

There is a weird thing that happens when I tell people I want to retire from advertising, and soon. Since I'm 35 years old, people always give me a "are you kidding me" look, followed by the usual "but you are so young". I stand there, smiling back and I retort the usual: I don't want to end up with a Fridge in the office.

A couple of years ago I worked at one of the biggest ad agencies where I live. At first, I was glad. I thought... I made it. I am in a huge big ass company and damn it, I'm good enough to work here. Huge clients, huge campaigns... A year goes by and my life changes for the worst. I have no life. I hate what I do. I start dreading waking up in the morning and going there. So one day I have to go chat with one AE.

It's late. I walk in, thinking... this is going to be fast, since it's almost 8pm and this guy has to go home and go eat or something. I say this to the dude. He says oh, no problem, I got my food here at my fridge. What? The? Fuuuuck? I look around. I can't see it at first, but then... voilá. The mini fridge. Loaded with bullshit vegetarian refrigerated food, juice and other not sane stuff.

I stand there, wondering. This guy is almost 50 years old. He has it all down. He doesn't need to go home, ever. He has all that he needs here TO KEEP WORKING. Forget about having a life outside the office. He starts giving me the brief for what seems to be the start, at that fucking hour, of us beginning to work a campaign. I am in hell, I think.

I start looking around, not giving a rat's ass about the brief, since we all know it is crap and has no logic whatsoever. Let him blab while I look. A couple of photos of a family he doesn't see. A couple of photographs of places he hasn't returned to in at least two years, and I know because this fucker comes in even sick to work. (Yeah, sure, I want your Ebola, since I don't have plans for this weekend, so throwing up blood seems like a good plan!) Clothes. I am not kidding. Clothes, for those moments when a client calls and he has to go dressed a little more decently.

That was all I needed. That meeting. That realization. I DONT WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT. No motherfucking way, mein friends. I preferred to open up my little studio and sweat it out, making a bet, if you will, with my career, my money and my life, that I would never have to have food at my office and not have to go home.

You know what? Now, I close up early, if I want to. I work my ass off, don't get me wrong, but I do stop to have a life, to go home when I want to or just when I need to. And I do have a fridge in my office. It's filled with only one thing that I would need, rush, and if I ever needed it I wouldn't have to go home: BEER.

Thank you, oh you no life AE. Thank you from the bottom of my fridge.

Conan's Rock Band

Some Light Hearted Fun Thanks to Pythagoras Switch

Joker thinks.... Joker writes.... We all ponder

1. You look best when you’re not as thin as you want to be.

2. I’m going to put bars around my desk and clang it with a coffee mug. You know, just to complete the whole mood my superiors enjoy.

3. Can’t you see I’m facebooking? Fuck off.

4. Keep the happy hour, give us better food.

5. I stand awestruck when friends in other industries tell me they get paid for overtime.

6. People with great bullshit should be in wheelchairs because they can DEFINITELY not walk any type of walk.

7. How many trees have died over revisions?

8. How many synonyms do I have to send a client before they give up and yield to the wordsmith?

9. You don’t choose your battles, battles choose you.

10. If I drive past the exit I take on my route to work during the weekend, I shudder and become short of breath

Why CNN did not air this interview?????

In the game of finding weird videos, I won. Forever.

He's not funny, Jim.

In comes the occasional asshole who, trying to be cool, shits all over our Trek. How I'd love to do a Vulcan Mind melt on this sucker and take it to eleven... I ask only one thing: why didn't he do a Star Wars analogy? Bush is Darth Vader, working with... Ewoks. Coked up Ewoks. Whatever.

Why can't they leave us to live long and prosper...

(This video is courtesy of Travis, who is trying to convince me that LOTR is great, by making me watch it over and over again. Um. Although I can appreciate this flick as a great piece of cinema: it's a movie about walking! Oh... and two small men, who don't know how much they really really would like to get it on with each other after they finish cooking the ring.)

Get Phill'd. Honestly.

This guy is getting better by the minute. I swear.

Fuck the Rat. This is the year of Change.

(For those of you who are still trying to figure the name of the post... Chinese Zodiac. Look it up.)

Yes. It is important to review last year and celebrate the good things of it, no matter if your list of bad things win by a landslide. You are supposed to be thankful that you are alive and healthy (or surviving on Tylenol), have a place to sleep, have decent friends, don't go hungry that much (unless you are packing the pounds, then you should indulge in a little bit of healthy hunger)...

But. This year should also bring changes. And in the last couple of weeks, I've heard loads about making changes for the better from some of my dearest friends. So, this is an invitation of sorts, to join in the fun and... like Nike said: Just do it.

You can look at it from any angle you want. If it's your job that is rubbing you the wrong way down there... Do something about it. Don't wish for a better job. (Dudes, it is impossible to have the perfect job. But you can improve the situation.) Don't think you have time? Bullshit. That is pure bullshit and you know it. Maybe it's the fact that you haven't had time to PRIORITIZE that part of your life. I am not talking about changing jobs in a matter of weeks or days. Just make the effort to start the process. Start looking. Start asking. Start with your resume. Read it. Rewrite it if you need to. Plan where you will send it. Make some calls. Start moving. You'll be glad you started. I swear.

Love interest a waste of your time and energy? Did all you could do and nothing? Move on. I have a friend who finally, after years of wasting her time and emotional strength, decided to start 2008 literally by giving herself the chance to meet someone new and begin a new life, with someone who actually was interested and said a little bit more than the usual "let's see what happens". The sheer fact that she embraced the change and knew it was for the better has made her smile and be much more happy. I swear, if you could see her now, you wouldn't have known she suffered for many years with a stupid shlob with no future to give her whatsoever.

Need more money? Well, you could change jobs and ask for more, or you could plan a way to earn more. Figure out how. Plan it. It can be as small as doing some freelance, it can be as big as opening a second business. Do you know how many people do it? Why can't you?

Whining about your big ass butt? Do something about it and make the promise to actually be there for the long run. It is not easy. It requires a deep passion for change, to feel better about yourself. But also, it takes loads of discipline. No breaks, no excuses, no nothing. It's not making the effort to not have that 800 calorie Madras and stop eating at Friday's for a month. It's changing your way of life, forever. This last one is a bit tricky, because most people try for a while and then forget about it or put some bullshit excuse to not follow up on it. Well, you decide. In fact, no. Your ass will decide. If you feed it less and make that promise to yourself, it will go away.

Feel like your government, your country... even the world is not changing for the better that much? Pick a theme. The homeless. Saving the Earth. Aids. Teen Pregnancy. Make the effort to do a Public Service campaign, be it at your office just for the hell of it, or at home. Offer it, designed and produced, free of charge, to whatever Association you want. This year, as well as last year, I chose Cancer. It felt waaaaaaay good to do something great that could actually make a difference, no charge whatsoever.

Hey, this in an invitation. You can actually think about it or dismiss it altogether. But it's up to you. You can be a happy camper... or a sad rat.

Hope you just... do it.

Cheers!

Thank thee ‘the’

If football players, boxers and presidential hopefuls can give thanks to Yahweh, Christ, or their preferred deity of choice, I can give thanks to an overlooked word that is responsible for us not sounding like Neanderthals. Think about it, how many phrases would be utter nonsense or sound apelike without the existence of the word the. Hell I used it in that last sentence twice and that’s without counting the time I said it… hell, I just used it again. But seriously think about how you would sound without ‘the’.

“Could you please pass ketchup.”

“Do you have time?”

“What hell?”

“Where is shit?”

“This is moment.”

“What fuck?”

Etc, etc.

Without ‘the’, we would all sound like second or third language English speakers and our messages could be conveyed in such idiotic manner that none of us would understand each other. Why am I taking this moment to give thanks to ‘the’? Because it is ‘the’ moment to do so. No particular reason, no inherent need, no doomsday clock ticking though I can luckily say that if said need would exist, I could resolve it in ‘the’ nick of time. It declares absolutes better than most other words. I am THE shit. That guy is THE biggest asshole in the world. Suck THE cock. It’s just so fun and easy to use that I couldn’t imagine a day without the.

The sheer power of the word is to be admired because it proclaims, establishes superiority and defines uniqueness. Hell, without ‘the’, what hell would we do? Hip hip hooray I say and let the ‘the’ make your day. Tis a new day, a new year, and it is the perfect opportunity to thank the ‘the’, because if there wasn’t a ‘the’, what would be point?

Happy procrastinating

Joker

Thank you guys!!!

Well, the end of another year has come. The sweetest man that you can't meet unless you join the gang and swear to protect his privacy, Joker, has already given us a great review of the last year. But the hours are ticking away on the first year, and all I really can't let it end before I say thank you.

To all the guys and gals who read us, every single day, every two days, every month... You Rock. Thank you for the stories, the comments, the annoying remarks, the funny as hell emails (yes, some of you still write back to us, we only wish you could write more)...

This blog is part of my life, and I truly think of all my dearest writers as well. I log on every single day. Sometimes I am too tired to write, sometimes I could write way too much. I feel we have a small community here, and I love being a part of it. Damn, seems like yesterday when I said to three wonderful guys... will you join me in this experiment? I am soooooo grateful. We did good, guys!

What will happen this year? Who knows. I just hope we live in peace and love, like we all damn deserve. All I know is that we will keep writing, so please, keep reading.

Happy new Year and may you be blessed in more ways than you can imagine.

I survived 2007 and all I got was this shitty post

So another year ends and another begins, well unless you ride with the Chinese New Year calendar and are currently laughing at most of the rest of the world for thinking we turned another year in that other calendar. That aside, it was a year of the Chocolate Rain, of the people Tasing their bros, of two girls and one cup and how Kermit enjoyed said fecal fiasco. It was a year of us not leaving Britney alone, of Jack Bauer saving the world while he was more than eager to get his life over with (don't leave us yet Jack), and of a pre-election hoopla to rival any other election year thanks in large part to the emergence of youtube as a political tool. It was a year of Sickos, of Stardust, of 300 chiseled men getting slaughtered in slow motion and of reunion tours and comebacks. Rocky had one last hurrah, Rambo is on his way, The Police are de doo doo doing it again, while the Zeppelin is upon us. Radiohead took a dump on the record industry, the Wii took a dump on Playstation, and as stated above, a girl took a dump in an ice cream shake cup and millions have watched. Mr. Hoff might be the king of the Internet but alcohol is the king of Mr. Hoff and gasoline is the king of our pocket. We were able to enjoy some Grindhousing joy and Barry Bonds broke two records, one about something of the most homeruns batted ever, and one about being one of the biggest assholes to walk the Earth. Hank would not be proud. Michael Vick showed he likes it doggy style, the wrong way and Michael Jackson is somewhere molesting small children in the middle east. Queens of the Stone Age brought back the Vulgaris, Nine Inch Nails celebrated their Year Zero and Niggy Tardust inevitably had a Rise and Fall. Rage Against the Machine continues to make us mental jerk with the possibility of a new album and a new tour. iPods have become the mandatory co-op product of the millenium and Vista sucks more than Rush Limbaugh kneeling in front of Satan himself. Troops are still in Iraq, everybody keeps saying to take them out, and with recent events and the unfortunate demise of Ms. Bhutto (thanks to my gf and her family for informing me of this, IU'm an ignorant douche), who knows if that will ever happen and if we'll emerge from this situation. In lighter news, The Whopper is still alive and kicking, all NYC McDonalds shut down for a day and Pontiac and Chevy keep competing to see who has the bigger new years advertising penis; oh! and if you missed it, there were Polar Bears in the theaters that weren't branded with Coca Cola symbols, and they really sucked. It was the conclusion of the Harry Potter series and Headmaster Dumbledore was ripped out of the closet. Our perception of what is possible in movie special effects was totally Transformed, Chuck Palahniuk showed us his Guts, side effects for medicines continue to be scarier than the symptoms they look to cure and energy drinks are the new cocaine of our youth. Also of note is that EMO is the new queer and that queer is the new trend, especially if you have an eye of that type bestowed upon a straight guy. In short, chris Crocker is gay but not happy, Tay Sonjay is happy but not gay, and Carson Kressley is happy AND gay.

In short, 2007 was all over the place. Ups, downs, sideways, leeways, noways, etc. I think it's one of the few years where you could use the word 'weird' to describe it and many people wouldn't complain. It was also a year of tribulations of various ups and several hundred downs. We lost some people along the way, probably made a friend or two, got in touch with someone we'd lost touch with and the funny thing though, is that no matter how much life changes, how much you have to give thanks for or how many times you've felt as if life is a strange and marvelous thing, there's still one thing that remains consistent throughout. One single solitary statement that unwaveringly maintains itself through thick and thin and says 'it is what it is' even if that phrase was recently fictionally banned.

ADVERTISING STILL SUCKS

So with love, warm wishes, and all that hoopla, we wish you the best here at WAS and hope you continue to enjoy the bitching, cuz the tank is still full and we keep on a burning.

Kindest regards, may your '08 be a great one and remember kids, make love, not babies.

Peace, love and maki rolls and....

Cheerrrsssssssssss

Yours truly

Joker