Well, after a few years - yeah we've been busy and procrastinating as well - we finally are sitting down to start the book. Maybe we can do a top 10 reader's choice, what do you think? If you loved a post, by all means remind us of it and we can do a chapter only on the best ones...
Stay tuned!
Oct 7, 2008
Free time is as easy as a medical appointment
When did it become a sin to take time to do things you have pending like renewing your license, taking a bullshit sick day off, fixing your car, waxing your crotch or just doing nothing? As if the world would end if we didn't proof an layout, edit a design, revise a radio script or come up with the next Cannes of shit winner.
Honestly, though we often think what we do is trivial bullshit, often times we take our job too seriously. We think we're this indispensable creative icon whom without job could not be done or at least not done as good. It's one of those cute self worth mythos we uphold so we can feel special and shit. As my dear friend Mr. Durden once said, we are not a unique snow flake and we're a hell of a lot more expendable than we honestly think.
That being said though, this could play to your advantage. Did you know you are entitled to about 12 sick days a year? Days that don't roll over to the next year? Days that could be well spent working on that videogame you haven't dedicated time to. Time you could spend trying a delicious recipe you read on some blog? Time you could be making dreadlocks with your pubes or playing Canasta with your Nana. 12 days that are yours and that for some reason or another, we feel guilty for taking when we're entitled by law to them. True some bosses look down upon mortals who actually get sick, but hey, if the system screws you that bad, shouldn't you take the liberty to take a day off just because you fucking feel like it without having your vacation time penalized.
Those are your sick days people, and it's your damn right to use them. You will not get a bigger bonus if you are absent less than someone else. You won't get a fruit basket or a medal. You probably won't even get a pat on the back. You'll just lose those days you could spend spread eagle in front of the AC after a hot shower.
Want to know what the best part is? There's nothing wrong with it and even better yet, if you do it just right, people won't notice you took a day off to dick around though please don't take this as an opportunity to work on your tan, go shopping to the most frequented mall in your vicinity or have lunch near your work place. Just because it's your time to dick off doesn't mean you have to be a dick and get caught by your boss during lunch time.
So by all means, if your over saturated by a job that truly pisses you the fuck off, by all means, put on your best Kiefer Sutherland voice, say you feel like poopy and enjoy the freedom of one day off the mundane monotony of your day job. After all, it's not just your right... it's the law.
Cheers
Honestly, though we often think what we do is trivial bullshit, often times we take our job too seriously. We think we're this indispensable creative icon whom without job could not be done or at least not done as good. It's one of those cute self worth mythos we uphold so we can feel special and shit. As my dear friend Mr. Durden once said, we are not a unique snow flake and we're a hell of a lot more expendable than we honestly think.
That being said though, this could play to your advantage. Did you know you are entitled to about 12 sick days a year? Days that don't roll over to the next year? Days that could be well spent working on that videogame you haven't dedicated time to. Time you could spend trying a delicious recipe you read on some blog? Time you could be making dreadlocks with your pubes or playing Canasta with your Nana. 12 days that are yours and that for some reason or another, we feel guilty for taking when we're entitled by law to them. True some bosses look down upon mortals who actually get sick, but hey, if the system screws you that bad, shouldn't you take the liberty to take a day off just because you fucking feel like it without having your vacation time penalized.
Those are your sick days people, and it's your damn right to use them. You will not get a bigger bonus if you are absent less than someone else. You won't get a fruit basket or a medal. You probably won't even get a pat on the back. You'll just lose those days you could spend spread eagle in front of the AC after a hot shower.
Want to know what the best part is? There's nothing wrong with it and even better yet, if you do it just right, people won't notice you took a day off to dick around though please don't take this as an opportunity to work on your tan, go shopping to the most frequented mall in your vicinity or have lunch near your work place. Just because it's your time to dick off doesn't mean you have to be a dick and get caught by your boss during lunch time.
So by all means, if your over saturated by a job that truly pisses you the fuck off, by all means, put on your best Kiefer Sutherland voice, say you feel like poopy and enjoy the freedom of one day off the mundane monotony of your day job. After all, it's not just your right... it's the law.
Cheers
Oct 6, 2008
A Random Thought
Funny how, when one is a child, you do everything within your power to stay up as late as possible. Yet, when you’re a mature (ahem, older) adult, you constantly strive to get to bed as early as possible.
Fortune Cookie 500 #'s 206-210
On being jaded
Answer the how and when to this question, for the if should be discarded immediately.
On CEO's
Interference often correlates inversely with level of quality.
On CD's
Funny how often a creative director directs creativity back into a box.
On ACD's
If you thought penis envy was bad, get ready for rank envy.
On health
Concern for your health only goes as far as work that's in the pipeline.
Answer the how and when to this question, for the if should be discarded immediately.
On CEO's
Interference often correlates inversely with level of quality.
On CD's
Funny how often a creative director directs creativity back into a box.
On ACD's
If you thought penis envy was bad, get ready for rank envy.
On health
Concern for your health only goes as far as work that's in the pipeline.
10 random Joker tips or suggestions
10. Whenever possible, avoid working with single bosses over the age of forty without a family. This pretty mcuh guarantees that they will not relate to people who want to have a life.
9. Unless you direly need something for your portfolio, NEVER volunteer to appear in a client ad so they don't have to incur into additional costs and finally approve your fucking concept. You are opening a Pandora's Box.
8. If a company has a problem with buying its employees food when they work late, realize this directly transfers to your salary, meaning if you want a raise you might consider looking to other agencies.
7. If people get fired and new cars arrive please take this as a direct communication of agency priorities.
6. Try to avoid working at places where they charge for coffee.
5. If someone tells you to do something so they can better protect your interests, feel free to consider this one of the people who will most attempt to harm you or put you in harm's way.
4. If you haven't heard anything bad from a company, you haven't spoken to enough people, keep digging.
3. If you work at a place where no one consumes the products they push, consider this as a sign of the client agency relationship there exists.
2. If a place seems too good to be true, enjoy it while it lasts.
1. If you see more than three people who drink during work hours, worry for your future mental health.
9. Unless you direly need something for your portfolio, NEVER volunteer to appear in a client ad so they don't have to incur into additional costs and finally approve your fucking concept. You are opening a Pandora's Box.
8. If a company has a problem with buying its employees food when they work late, realize this directly transfers to your salary, meaning if you want a raise you might consider looking to other agencies.
7. If people get fired and new cars arrive please take this as a direct communication of agency priorities.
6. Try to avoid working at places where they charge for coffee.
5. If someone tells you to do something so they can better protect your interests, feel free to consider this one of the people who will most attempt to harm you or put you in harm's way.
4. If you haven't heard anything bad from a company, you haven't spoken to enough people, keep digging.
3. If you work at a place where no one consumes the products they push, consider this as a sign of the client agency relationship there exists.
2. If a place seems too good to be true, enjoy it while it lasts.
1. If you see more than three people who drink during work hours, worry for your future mental health.
Oct 5, 2008
Venti Vent
WARNING: This post is a rant and should not be taken totally seriously. It’s just past 1 AM, I can’t sleep and said what the fuck, lets write.
How often can one reach the same level of dejected rancor so many of us live during an average work day? How is it possible that we end up roaming through the pessimist’s nirvana putting up with uncomfortable situations better suited for day time soaps than what we call reality? My work experience lately can be summed up as squandering hundreds of futile work hours because of people’s indecisions, dick changes after normal work hours and the dramarama of a select crew of people who truly deserve an Emmy for their winning performances each and every day.
Thinking straight for a second, don’t you see how funny one’s personal dilemmas and little would be wartime diatribes become with what the world and its economy are going through. I was thinking the other day about a post I wrote one or maybe even two years ago about how the economy was going to shit and how so many people I knew were struggling to find a job and how things seemed to be getting tougher and tougher only to have someone post a comment about how the NY Times and other respectable publications clearly demonstrated that things were actually getting better and that there was nothing to worry about and that I should pretty much shut my fucking mouth up because I was some ignorant liberal that didn’t read the news, didn’t take my vitamins and pretty much operated best when ranting scatologically and using elaborate descriptions of cunts, shit and anything remotely related to a phallus. Of course I responded but it was one of those moments when you just wanted to walk a dick comment off since you were merely expressing your genuine concern over some friends and how it seemed everything at that moment was going to hell. Shit, I’m no economist but if you see an odd number of people getting canned, you tend to worry and react by thinking, hey maybe things are kind of fucked up and I should be concerned. But no, someone insisted that ducking and rolling were sufficient remedies for a nuclear blast and that I should bow to all the research and empirical evidence found on publications and pie charts and polls and interviews.
So now that the NY Times, Yahoo, CNN, NBC, MSN and pretty much anything else with three or four letters that spreads the news has had a say in how fucked we are financially, can we admit we have a problem and that it might, sorry, will creep into our day to day lives? As if that weren’t enough we have the spectacle known as the political merry go round giving some extra spins but the bar is going to be giving last calls in a couple of weeks time and I see a bunch of things that are rather unsettling to say the least.
Two wars, a fucked up economy, a real estate sector in bad state and budget cuts across the board for anyone working in our fine industry. Automobiles are not selling like hot cakes, petro is still expensive as fuck and I see companies losing one or two accounts and being on the brink of having to shut down. I see all agency jackals sharpening their talons and looking to ailing agencies to see where they can feed on immediately to survive or who knows, maybe even thrive.
So where does that leave your average ad people? Settling or at least that’s what your employer wants you to believe.
“Things are harsh out there.”
“Think twice before resigning because there aren’t many jobs out there.”
Isn’t it cute how employers make it seem like they’re doing you a favor by keeping you on the payroll even though you’re actually ensuring them about 20 times what you earn… probably more?
“The economy is bad, that’s why we can’t give you a raise.”
Yeah, yeah. I totally understand; that’s exactly why you bought a new Porsche, because the economy is so fucked up. Oh and the new house and home improvements that probably total what your house is worth, that’s also preparing for when the economy gets real bad so they can sell the house and survive. Don’t mind the Dolce either, that’s just to keep appearances up for the client so they see we’re doing well, the Rolex too.
So what do I think? That things are bad? Yeah. That things could be worse? Of course. That the economy is shit? Yup. But that there’s still people making money and just don’t know how to be a smidge fair and rather than be fair with their employees, they milk them for all they’re worth until they quit because it’d cost too much to want to keep em? You bet your ass.
Face it, you are probably underpaid and overworked, or at the very least you feel this way. Oh, you also probably feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest and while you warm up you see some of your AE’s winning the Gold in the ass kissing contest that goes right before your event. You might even feel like some people do nothing but antagonize you with comments and whining and shit you really don’t need past 8 PM. You dream with work and problems and work. You’re probably stressed from the minute you step into the office. You hate your boss, your supervisor and the people that by default form your team since personal choice would probably wipe the slate 80% clean. And through all of this, you are constantly asked to settle, to compromise, to let one slide, to take one for the team etc, etc, et-fucking-cetera.
Well I have a suggestion and an option, look through the classifieds, make calls, hire a head hunter, strive to a better work place, call people on their bullshit, don’t always work late and when someone threatens to fire you, threaten them back with the law. Start logging your work hours, send yourself an email with a screenshot or evidence of your late work hours. Don’t fucking settle, don’t take the shit from the boss you know is an asshole because even though the natural behavior of an asshole is to spew shit, please remember one little detail: you can always step aside.
Cheers
How often can one reach the same level of dejected rancor so many of us live during an average work day? How is it possible that we end up roaming through the pessimist’s nirvana putting up with uncomfortable situations better suited for day time soaps than what we call reality? My work experience lately can be summed up as squandering hundreds of futile work hours because of people’s indecisions, dick changes after normal work hours and the dramarama of a select crew of people who truly deserve an Emmy for their winning performances each and every day.
Thinking straight for a second, don’t you see how funny one’s personal dilemmas and little would be wartime diatribes become with what the world and its economy are going through. I was thinking the other day about a post I wrote one or maybe even two years ago about how the economy was going to shit and how so many people I knew were struggling to find a job and how things seemed to be getting tougher and tougher only to have someone post a comment about how the NY Times and other respectable publications clearly demonstrated that things were actually getting better and that there was nothing to worry about and that I should pretty much shut my fucking mouth up because I was some ignorant liberal that didn’t read the news, didn’t take my vitamins and pretty much operated best when ranting scatologically and using elaborate descriptions of cunts, shit and anything remotely related to a phallus. Of course I responded but it was one of those moments when you just wanted to walk a dick comment off since you were merely expressing your genuine concern over some friends and how it seemed everything at that moment was going to hell. Shit, I’m no economist but if you see an odd number of people getting canned, you tend to worry and react by thinking, hey maybe things are kind of fucked up and I should be concerned. But no, someone insisted that ducking and rolling were sufficient remedies for a nuclear blast and that I should bow to all the research and empirical evidence found on publications and pie charts and polls and interviews.
So now that the NY Times, Yahoo, CNN, NBC, MSN and pretty much anything else with three or four letters that spreads the news has had a say in how fucked we are financially, can we admit we have a problem and that it might, sorry, will creep into our day to day lives? As if that weren’t enough we have the spectacle known as the political merry go round giving some extra spins but the bar is going to be giving last calls in a couple of weeks time and I see a bunch of things that are rather unsettling to say the least.
Two wars, a fucked up economy, a real estate sector in bad state and budget cuts across the board for anyone working in our fine industry. Automobiles are not selling like hot cakes, petro is still expensive as fuck and I see companies losing one or two accounts and being on the brink of having to shut down. I see all agency jackals sharpening their talons and looking to ailing agencies to see where they can feed on immediately to survive or who knows, maybe even thrive.
So where does that leave your average ad people? Settling or at least that’s what your employer wants you to believe.
“Things are harsh out there.”
“Think twice before resigning because there aren’t many jobs out there.”
Isn’t it cute how employers make it seem like they’re doing you a favor by keeping you on the payroll even though you’re actually ensuring them about 20 times what you earn… probably more?
“The economy is bad, that’s why we can’t give you a raise.”
Yeah, yeah. I totally understand; that’s exactly why you bought a new Porsche, because the economy is so fucked up. Oh and the new house and home improvements that probably total what your house is worth, that’s also preparing for when the economy gets real bad so they can sell the house and survive. Don’t mind the Dolce either, that’s just to keep appearances up for the client so they see we’re doing well, the Rolex too.
So what do I think? That things are bad? Yeah. That things could be worse? Of course. That the economy is shit? Yup. But that there’s still people making money and just don’t know how to be a smidge fair and rather than be fair with their employees, they milk them for all they’re worth until they quit because it’d cost too much to want to keep em? You bet your ass.
Face it, you are probably underpaid and overworked, or at the very least you feel this way. Oh, you also probably feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest and while you warm up you see some of your AE’s winning the Gold in the ass kissing contest that goes right before your event. You might even feel like some people do nothing but antagonize you with comments and whining and shit you really don’t need past 8 PM. You dream with work and problems and work. You’re probably stressed from the minute you step into the office. You hate your boss, your supervisor and the people that by default form your team since personal choice would probably wipe the slate 80% clean. And through all of this, you are constantly asked to settle, to compromise, to let one slide, to take one for the team etc, etc, et-fucking-cetera.
Well I have a suggestion and an option, look through the classifieds, make calls, hire a head hunter, strive to a better work place, call people on their bullshit, don’t always work late and when someone threatens to fire you, threaten them back with the law. Start logging your work hours, send yourself an email with a screenshot or evidence of your late work hours. Don’t fucking settle, don’t take the shit from the boss you know is an asshole because even though the natural behavior of an asshole is to spew shit, please remember one little detail: you can always step aside.
Cheers
Oct 3, 2008
5 Friends or 5 Blogs.
Well, I guess my quest is for 5 people to put this on their blogs and for 5 people to post this link in their Facebook accounts. Help me out, people:
The link for your Facebook: http://adssuck.blogspot.com/2008/10/5-friends-or-5-blogs.html
The link for your Facebook: http://adssuck.blogspot.com/2008/10/5-friends-or-5-blogs.html
Oct 2, 2008
Palin's Debate time!
Just a nice reminder, go home before 9pm!!!!!!
UPDATE: RestrictionsApply and I made a pact. Every time Palin says "Gwen", we're taking a shot. Join the fun! (I guess we'll be drunk by 9:35...) Also... can we drink if she cannot say nuclear correctly? Hm.
Viva La Diebold!
Just remember what I told you... Enjoy.
PS: Hey Ohio! Hey Florida! Just... just saying hello!
PS: Hey Ohio! Hey Florida! Just... just saying hello!
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