Jan 31, 2010

Crashing tiger, Hidden bullshit

No matter how you look at it, the level of what the fuckness of the downward spiral that has become Tiger Woods' public image is a thing to behold. Opinions have been flying back and forth, moral calls have been issued, and verdicts of all types have been called in regards to the life and times of the nine iron cock of ages.

He deserves what he got.

He's a liar.

He's a bad person.

and yes...

He's a Cheetah.

These and countless other nuggets have stemmed from an issue that brings forth dozens of other issues to the forefront. Race, fidelity, the sanctity of matrimony, superstars and the circles they run in, and everyone has cashed in their Tiger dollar just to be part of a debate that will go down in history as one of the most expensive divorces in existence.

Now that the firestorm has passed and we've had some time to think about what we supposedly know about the frenzied sex junkie known as Tiger, we can talk about it a bit more civilized or so I hope.

Like him or hate him, there are three undeniable truths to Tiger Woods.

1.) He put golf on the map and has been a huge help in boosting the prize money of what was already a filthy rich man's sport.

2.) He's pretty much the best golfer we've ever known of, pulling off shots that would make anyone call bullshit if the bastard didn't do it so often.

3.) To be Politically correct... He's unwhite.

So here's the deal, Tiger cheated on his loving and adoring wife, yada yada... The reality is that none of us know how much his wife knew about what he was up to and the whole crash and nine iron through the window to save his ass story just doesn't hold up. Apart from that, we have no idea how well they get along. Why do I bring this up? Simple. Each and every part of this story is based on speculation. Fans swear they know who Tiger is, what his values are and what he's thinking. We don't. No one does and it's just one of the many wonderful illusions people afford themselves since anyone can have an opinion.

Second off, who is anyone to say Tigers actions were immoral or not.

"But he's a cheater!!!!!!!!!!!!"

True, but does that make him morally questionable or does that just make him another average guy? And besides, if we were to let the first person who is morally correct throw the first stone, they wouldn't throw it, because A. it's not worth wasting our time over it. B. it's not our problem. C. That person knows better than to invite controversy in. But the media being the ratings whores they've morphed into blow things out of proportion and people have an excess of opinions and a lack of common sense.

The only thing I can say for sure is that he gave us conversation fodder but that people insist that they are part of the moral majority and spit on him while taking it up the ass from the poolboy or eating out their secretary... well hypochrisy kind of lacks the sting I wish it had, but it does apply.

So Tiger cheated on his wife. And he did it repeated times. Does this affect your life in any way? No. Does your succesful or failed marriage improve or deteriorate because he has a happy go lucky cock? No. But as per usual in America and pretty much the world at large, judgment is cast if only to stray attention away from our own short comings.

To add insult to insult to insult and a bit of injury (in the form of legal fees) Tiger is pretty much being bombarded because he's the black king of a white sport. Love him or hate him, the base definition for Tiger Woods is that he's the best golfer that has ever played. The public and the news are the ones that insist on also adding the racial label and I seriously think it's because we really need to clarify race way too often. It's the 21st century and gender, race and religion should not be labels to market people, but they are. Venus and Serena can't just be superb athletes, they are superb black athletes. Danica Patrick can't just be one of the best NASCAR drivers ever, she's the best woman driver. Yuri Foreman can't just be a great boxer, he's the best Jewish boxer. Name a sport, name a demographic category, select and market your athlete. It's retarded, rude and degrading, but it also happens to be our modus operandi. And in case you want to insist that race has nothing to do with the coverage of the Woods case, feel free to leave a comment and let the debate begin.



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