For our 2,000th post, well I thought I'd just offer some personal musings about pretty much anything I can think of in 10 minutes or less...
Current time? 8:58 PM
1. Have you noticed that people that drive a Smart Car look anything but Smart?
2. I think there should be a law banning paying any groceries with checks. sorry granny, but it's just annoying.
3. Days are like gumball machines, sometimes you get the flavor you want, sometimes you get that piece of shit black licorice ball.
4. I think we should all stop praying to God for guidance to Chris Cornell, he is a lost cause and we must cherish special days like the ones when he knew how to rock.
5. I wonder if gay guys think about the women they'd fuck if they weren't gay.
6. Why can't I have .001% of Miley Cirus's fortune? I promise to put it to good use and I'd start by putting her dad out of his misery.
7. The new term for confused sexuality or bisexuality is metrosexual... please recognize that you've at least dreamt of cock and enjoyed it.
8. Would a black jewish rapper say Oy, Yo or both?
9. Why do people feel the need to tap on their wrist when they ask you the time? I can see you don't have a watch. Just ask me the time and we skipped a step.
10. By the way, don't ask if I have the time, it's an intangible concept and if I could grab a hold of it I'd certainly charge to share it.
11. Don't you know that being in a constant state of rush will most likely cause premature ejaculation, a car accident, or both?
12. If you have three hours to kill ask an artist if a certain piece of shit art is really art? It'll be like Nietzche and Liberace's would be love child on a sugar rush rant.
13. I love it when guys cringe when you remind them that the sexy love muffin of their life, the woman that inspires them to pollish more wood than Pledge, choke more chickens than Colonel Sanders and produce more adhesive than Elmer's not only has to physically take a dump, but that one of the orifices they so want to protrude is the point of origin.
14. Why are pro-active solutions so passive most of the time?
15. Why do we insist on guidelines when thinking outside the box?
16. Who coined the phrase think outside of the box and how stupid was that person to not get a copyright on that sweet mofo?
17. If a cokehead has a Diet Coke or a Coke Zero, does this affect the power of his initial Cokeness?
18. I vote for testicle cleavage so we may be able to compete with women in the work place.
19. Does anyone else think the New York Jets should seriously consider changing their franchise name? I'm just saying.
20. How many people do you know that have bought or thought about buying a Snuggy?
Time? 9:10. Two minutes over, oh well.