Ok.... last night I listened to the new album by Chris Cornell... and still today, without having listened to it a second time (for my own mental sanity), I'm still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Please don't think I don't respect an artists wishes to be creative and to express all the outlets that tickle their pickle. I love people branching out and experimenting. But how do you go from being a Rock God... form being called The Voice... to what Chris Cornell is now.
Between Carry On and Scream I am officially not trusting Chris Cornell until I find proof that whatever he releases doesn't resemble a Cleveland steamer on the irritated chest of a guy who doesn't know how to shave but does love the stinging feeling of nature's baby ruth bar on their being. I literally had to stop this album before it ended and let me make it clear as to why.
When you listen to Down on the Upside, Superunknown, Bad Motor Finger, Audioslave, out of Exile, Revelations and the beautiful Euphoria Morning, you can't help but be depressed at the material he's releasing.
Scream is an apt title for the album because that's exactly what I wanted to do after I listened to it. If there was any doubt in my mind that Timbaland is one of Satan's minions doing his bidding on the Earth, suffice to listen to this fucking album just to know it's true.
From being one of the best lyric writers in the 90s and someone I could relate to in so many songs, I'm left feeling frustrated and empty, like a guy who got caught getting a handjob from a one armed transvestite named Earl.
Now get ready for this, even how disgusting this album is, at least it's not as bad and as robotic and limp as Carry On. I'm not saying this is good.. I'm just saying that at least Chris' heart was into this damn disaster.
Oh and Timbadouche offers his own spark and bite in as many as 3 or 4 tracks that not only benefit from his midi produced soundtrack but also from his terrific backup vocals. In the second track we were able to enjoy some of his scratch scatting and the sad part is that this album gets progressively worse as it wears on. honestly, you think it's bad at the beginning? Get ready for the suckathon to go on.
To add insult to injury, Chris and Timba were wise enough to compare this heaving pile of shit with Dark Side of the Moon or stuff from Zeppelin...................... Read that last sentence and let it sink in.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... has it sunk yet.................................................................................................................. maybe a little more..................................................................................................... ok.
WHAT
THE
FUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Honestly, comparing this fucking album to the epic Dark Side is heresy and sacrilege at the very least if not insulting on every known level known to humankind. Honestly, this is like a sideshow where you pay 5 bucks to see a chick dressed as if she were a fake lady. You're being over charged for watching her try and be something she clearly is not, it isn't believable, it isn't enjoyable, it's stupid, it's a waste of time and you end up asking yourself why the hell they even bother with a snakelady. And the same exact thing goes for Chris Cornell.
I know you're healthy, you restored a restaurant in France and are a fashion model, but seriously, could you swap the wheatgrass for jäger and remember what it was like to make good music, or are you simply the biggest lost cause ever to break my heart. I could even think this is all a practical joke in busting our hopes before doing something monumental, but I doubt it to say the least.
To sum this up finally... Chris Cornell AND Timbaland call Scream their best work ever...................... Ummmm... enjoy the money Chris. I'm sure a bunch of Jonas and Miley fans will love your new album and call you edgy and current, but just know that the people that you have touched in this lifetime weep painfully because death would have been a much more welcome fate than watching you commit rocker hara kiri.
Be well and may your balls grow hair once more.
Cheers
4 comments:
Chris is like a best friend who always fucks up – you just want him to succeed but he never does.
What ever happened with Soundgarden, I’ll never know.
His stint with Audioslave seemed promising, but when he did the title song for Casino Royale, you knew he had fallen off the wagon.
Based on your review, with this new album he’s just another great talent gone to waste. It’ll never be 1994 for dude ever again…
Soundgarden played yesterday without Chris in Seattle..... might be a one shot gig... but here's hoping it's an idea these guys want to pursue. They can even ask Chris' brother for vocal help. :) oh well.
Was a big soundagarden fan, but clearly chris is playing timbalands skin flute with both hands.
SHOCKER!
You're Right dude, i get the album and simply i could beleive that this shit is from Chris Cornell, i said, What the fuck!!!!!
it's shameful, i check twice on the web, and yeah that's right Chris has completely fucked up!!!
He should have killed himself or died as a War Heroe, i don't know, before sign the contract to do this crap.
I hope one day he do that before he release something like this again.
Greetings from the City of Gray Smog Sky!!!!
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