Last time I checked, Superman was a figment of someone's imagination.

Again, let's first ask our friends at Wikipedia. "Superman is a fictional character, a comic book superhero widely considered to be an American cultural icon. Created by American writer Jerry Siegel and Canadian-born artist Joe Shuster in 1932 while both were living in Cleveland, Ohio, and sold to Detective Comics, Inc. in 1938, the character first appeared in Action Comics #1 (June 30, 1938) and subsequently appeared in various radio serials, television programs, films, newspaper strips, and video games. With the success of his adventures, Superman helped to create the superhero genre and establish its primacy within the American comic book. The character's appearance is distinctive and iconic: a blue, red and yellow costume, complete with cape, with a stylized "S" shield on his chest."

Got that right? An imaginary person, created by two human beings. So, my question is: why the fuck do people think that some of us have superhuman abilities? Mainly... clients?

I am extremely pissed off today. The one thing I promised myself when leaving the biggest ad agencies where I live is this: I will manage MY DAMN TIME. It will be me and only me deciding on a delivery schedule that I can manage. Enough with people telling me how many jobs I have to deliver. My office, my rules, my time. Not that I will slack off and just send out two jobs at a day... Just an honest, clear cut schedule of things that are going out to get approved and things that need a little bit more time to get done properly.

I would like to scream this at the top of my lungs: BY CALLING ME AND ASKING FOR A CHANGE IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WILL DO IT THAT SAME MOMENT! What happened to waiting in line? What happened with knowing for a fact that by rushing people who need to be creative you will end up having a turd of an ad?

And don't get me started on rush fees. No one ever pays for rush fees anymore! We're supposed to act as fast as we can, even if we fuck the pieces up in the process... and for what? So that your boss doesn't chew up your ass, right?

Listen, our ads DON'T CURE CANCER. There is only one rush in this whole world: saving another person's life? Do you really mean to tell me that by having your damn flyer the world will not come to an end? Really? Bullshit. If you change something in any type of creative piece it will require some time to figure some shit out.

The last time I heard, there is NO COMMAND AD or COMMAND FLYER or COMMAND RADIO SPOT or COMMAND FUCK CREATIVES. Let me tell you, if the Adobe people come up with that wonderful shortcut, I will be the first to buy that program for a fucking million fucking fuck dollars. But guess what? It's not available. The program runs on, basically, our minds and hands. We have to move shit. We have to write shit. We have to resize, cut, paste, print, read again, print again, photoshop the mother satan out of it so that your changes are done.

I mean.. Jesus. Where is Dirty Harry and his Smith and Wesson when you need them?