Jul 21, 2009

The Law of Minimum Effort

In the bullshit cubicle jungle most of us work in, there are rules, there are axioms, there are mores and there are laws.

Like it or not, every single job you work in will have a set of rules and regulations, of benchmarks and expectations that will define what you are capable of achieving. The funny part is that often times, you see these laws repeat from one job to the next. As with Restriction's Law of Marginal Contribution, you can't possibly expect that to be exclusive to advertising... and it's just because it isn't.

Though there are many things that differentiate us, mediocrity in all its forms is something that definitely binds us... and so goes the Law of Minimum Effort.

- For every effort there is a lack of effort in response. -

You're a big boy or girl. You know what you have to do to get shit done, but no worries. For every responsible human being on this Earth, there are at least 6-9 hacks that insist on disrupting the balance of productivity. You can try all you want. You could even use FBI taps and Homeland Security information to get all the information you need about where you are going to work. Go ahead, hack into company files, and do your best to come into a department that apparently has its shit together... even if it DOES exist... you'll unfortunately have to eventually work on something produced by one mean piece of mediocrity. I'm talking people who are so lazy that they probably don't finish jerking off because their forearm is sore citing their worry of carpel tunnel to stop the jacking. I'm talking people who are happy to be in traction so someone can feed them and wipe their ass for them. I'm talking of hacks that truly are proud offspring of C students.

There is simply no way on this Earth you will not come in contact with a half ass if you work in a white collar environment. It's just basic logic that produces people that do not put out as much as they take. Hacks do not rule the Earth but they sure do permeate the poor soil. From cars to healthcare, from processed foods to sex toys, a hack is only a task, job or email away. Someone who lacks the foresight to offer information that is vital for a task, job or even favor they ask of you and that is the way it will always be, simply because talking in percentages, there is no way the human race can completely eradicate douche bags. In fact, it seems as if mediocrity is demanded and rewarded if you pucker up enough.

Thing is that while one cleans up the shit storm, these assholes have the gall and nerve to critique one's tactics when fucking saving their ass. Trust me, I KNOW this sounds like a worker bee vent who doesn't understand the macro system, but after analyzing where I'm coming from, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Let us analyze.

My complaint can be summed up as: I could do work more efficiently (i.e. quicker, better, and with less revisions) if a person (i.e. supah douche) gave me X or Y information and didn't need 3 emails for me to finally get what I need to get shit done. When you look at the big picture, a peon (AKA me) needs information to do X (AKA shit job) for master douche (aka, the person who "requested" a task done). This person is actually available so I will give them brownie (and not the ass kind) points in their favor, but their initial task was done so poorly that I have to invest a total of about 18 hours just to make sense of the almost 300 page shit storm they sent me to rehabilitate. Information is missing, format is non existent and this could be easier on at least 4 levels. The peon takes up the allotted time to perform the task at hand, and the supah douche finds something wrong with the document, for instance, there's some information missing, and the format is kind of weird... if it had been MY gumption that concocted this document from hell, then fine; I fess up to it, admit the blame and get my shit together... I'm actually QUITE capable of admitting my fuckups and have done so in the past. But I DIDN'T fuck up. I simply responded to what I was given and did the best I could and then some. I did NOT apply the law of minimum effort yet the beast bit me in the ass... Which begs the question, if little to no effort = success, does extra effort = stagnation?

Shit to ponder.....

Regardless of my mood though...



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