Jul 27, 2009

There’s always that one person who…

• … cannot stop talking about how awesome her kids are

• … has always outdone you. If you ran a mile this morning, he ran five; if you went on an NYC getaway, he spent the summer in Europe

• … brings on the negativity. Life sucks. Work sucks. Good restaurants are never good enough. Entertainment is never entertaining enough. That 5,000 square-foot ocean-front penthouse you own? That sucks too. It’s like your very own Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live

• … is a professional complainer. She complains about how much work she’s got (but never actually gets around to doing it); complains about how hard she’s working – weekends, late hours, etc.; complains about the clients; complains about how much the agency sucks; complains about the bosses; complains about suppliers

• … considers himself quite the intellectual and is not afraid to show it off. You like Adam Sandler flicks? He only watches foreign films. In fact, any movie you like, he’s read the book original and rubs its superiority in your face

• … knows what everyone is thinking. Even though she is a married, 50ish, wealthy white female with a European aristocratic background, when it comes to marketing, she knows what single black lower-class males want from their marketing communications. Never mind the research, she just knows what people like and how to sell it to them

• … comes into the office at 10:30 a.m.; at 11:30 starts making lunch plans with her cronies; is off to lunch at 12:30; arrives from lunch at 2:45 p.m.; needs a coffee break at 3:00; starts working on the first job of the day at 4:30; is pissed off because it’s 7:00 p.m. and doesn’t yet understand why it’s going to be a long night at the office again. And let’s not get into the numerous 15-minute smoking breaks

• …is chronically ill. She’s always taking some form of medication; she never puts in a full 8-hour day because she’s always got a medical appointment; she’s always complaining about how this hurts or that aches; how the weather is wreaking havoc on her allergies. She’s got a serious case of Woody Allen Hypochondriac Syndrome.


Teenie said...

... who has no time. No time for a new project. No time to discuss a project. No time to go over what they've done. No time to fill you in. Conveniently leaves at 4:55.

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