Aug 12, 2009

TMI Ver. 2.0

With every single day, microblogging reaches an all time low in regards of the too much information department. If you're going to be a Tweetker, at least be decent enough to have interesting shit to share. But no, between Tweets and Facebook status I have the luxury of finding out everything I didn't want to know about people I should seriously consider deleting from my "friend list".

I'm not completely sure when it became trendy, hip or the in thing to let everyone know the six colors floating in your toilet bowl, or what you're having for breakfast, but it's ironic on a base level that some people even bother with privacy laws at all.

Then I see Facebook status that like, are totally, like, so awesome, like, it says so much cool stuff, like, I dunno, it's just awesome and like deep...........

Seriously people. I could care less what your Facebook fortune cookie said, what new adventures you've traversed in Farmville or your level in Mob Wars.

That said, I also don't want to read about your break up or the opinion of eighty nosy people who just HAVE to leave a comment saying fuck him/her, they don't deserve you or all the other typically mundane and trite bullshit that I read every day on my wall. People, it's a life, live it, don't post it for Christ's Sake.

And then the 20,000 causes no one supports but has on their wall, me included because I'm too lazy to delete them. What have any of us done for these causes except give three clicks for them?

Save the third nippled dolphin, protect global terra forming, stop the insanity and recycle your condoms. The list goes on and on and people keep clicking and clicking away, and though I do fall prey to the hundreds of quizzes that appear on Facebook, I stray from pretty much everything else and tend to write direct messages rather than wall posts because I want to treat a Facebook friend as if they were a real friend, because odds are that once upon a time, they were... but I don't go plastering all we talk about on my wall.

Some people do feel the need to give a peek into the world they live, and that may be fine for some people, but guess what... most of what you say is painfully boring. So you had chicken for lunch, so your baby took a shit, so you think you have swine flu, so you're watching the hills. Honestly, if people read most of what they post, maybe they'd take a second to reconsider because man, some of the shit you read is more on the lines of "really, did I need to know that" rather than "wow, look what so and so is doing. Isn't that cool." The answer is painfully simple, no it isn't entertaining, yes you demonstrate that in a country cleansing you'd probably go, and obviously, yor status would read something like: Phooey :`( I'm going to get fed to a meat grinder. Oh well. At least I'll meet God.

Just in case, let me be the first one to let you know that if you don't make it to Purgatory or Hell, or are forced to repeat your life since you failed this grade, God will not take away from the busy schedule just to see how Farmville nurtured your sense of worth in existence.

In short, TMI is the new OMG and most of it all can just SMC. So kindly, next time you feel the urge to tell me how clean your colon feels after doing an Oat Bran Squat Dump or the new color coordinated door knobs you bought for your home, kindly reconsider.

Cheers

3 comments:

Teenie said...

I haven't visited Facebook in months. It's just one long, dull rambling by people who have too much time on their hands. It was fun at first to reconnect, but now it feels like a chore.

RestrictionsApply said...

This just proves what I’ve been saying all along: communication TECHNOLOGY has come a long way, but the QUALITY of our communications has deteriorated monumentally. Here we have all of these fantastic gadgets, just to let the world know that we had chicken for lunch.

No modern writer, with his state-of-the-art wi-fi-enabled laptop, has created anything nearly as important or powerful as works written on a typewriter or by hand over 50, 100, 200 years ago. Today’s artists, with the “help” of Photoshop and what not, have yet to create masterpieces that match the classics. No bubbly tune in the past 20 years has come close to muting the power of a basic drums-bass-guitar-piano rock getup.

Facebook? Twitter? I recently did a serious application purge and limited my Friends list to people who are actually my friend. Just because we worked together for two weeks eight years ago doesn’t mean we need to share baby pictures. Just because we went to the same school for 10 years and never spoke to each other doesn’t mean that we suddenly have to be best cyber friends. There’s a reason why we never were friends in the first place. This exercise did me good, because my list has dwindled its way to a more manageable experience. The people I have on Facebook/Twitter are people I actually care about and – hopefully – people that care about me.

Jake P. said...

They're mistaking that people give a crap about what they have for lunch because they're waiting with bated breath to learn what Ashton Kutcher had for lunch. It's tragic.

I've attempted to be selective up front about who I'm friends with, but even that doesn't work. Alas, I find that I enjoy some of my friends far less than I used to--they were better as fond memories.

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