Aug 30, 2009

Top 10 characters you love not knowing what they look like

Some characters are remembered for their charming smile, or potent stare. Others are immortalized by their expressions. But then, there are just some characters that you have no idea what they really look like and you could care less. Actually, the fact that they are largely obscured makes them that more special.

So thinking back to all the miscellaneous crap I've been exposed to in 29 years on this third rock from the sun, here's my top 10 people I love not knowing what the hell they look like.

10. Wilson - Home Improvement

Love the series or hate it, you can't help but marvel at the wisdom and accesibility of Mr. Picket Face, Wilson. This Jedi of the school of life was always there to spit some wisdom in the face of Tim and while tennage girls' panties were spontaneously combusting at the sight of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, I was torn between the enigma known as Wilson and the desire to be worked on by a Tool Girl.

9. Michael Meyers - Halloween

Out of all the Slashers, Michael Meyers has been the only one to perservere in never showing his face. Jason, Jigsaw, Predator, you name it, and they showed their faces, except Michael. Having survived mor ebullets, stabbings and electrocutions than you could ever imagine, the main thing about Mike is that he never talks either so his representation is devoid of face and voice, which make it all that much better. Hell you wouldn't want the guy to have a thirty pound battle axe ready to decapitate some sexy couple only to have him speak in an Elmer Fudd voice. So keep silent Mike, that'll help your kill count as well.

8. The Black Smoke - LOST

Ok so I haven't finished season 5 of LOST, where I'm supposed to get a good idea of what the hell that thing is... but we still don't know what lies beneath the smoke. Conspiracy theories abound as to what it really looks like but who knows, maybe it is just smoke and mirrors.... it still scares the poop right on out of me.

7. Adults - Tom and Jerry & Peanuts Cartoons

Rarely has there been an abstract or offscreen character used more by comedians to get a point through. I included the Tom & Jerry characters as well because be it the ditzy stepford wife or that sweet husky voiced Aunt Jemima relative, the adults in the Tom and Jerry characters were just as memorable as the wah wah speaking adults in peanuts cartoons.

6. Cousin Itt - Addams Family

Hair today, gone tomorrow? NEVER. With hair so strong that Vidal Sassoon would gawk with envy, Cousin Itt had it going on in regards to style, flow and mad lady skills. Be it the complimentary shades or the occasional hat, Itt, was the Sh-Itt and he further cements that girls love a guy with long hair.

5. Dr. Claw - Inspector Gadget

Striking from memory the action figures and the atrotious feature films, Dr. Claw was clearly one of the coolest faceless people in the realm of cartoon entertainment. How many times did we get teased to almost see his face? Countless and the fact that we didn't get one glimpse from the cartoons, well that just makes the action figures, video games and feature films that much more of heresy to all things Claw.

4. Snake Eyes - Gi Joe

As far as ninjas go, Snake Eyes tops my list since most people you know from this hemisphere wanted to be like him. Like Michael Meyers, Snake Eyes had the gift of being ├╝ber cool without needing to show his face or use his voice. Besides, his expressions were that much better because of his very nature. So next time someone gives you the silent treatment, nod at least once in approval, for they are not ignoring you, they are paying genuine tribute to greatness that only comes in black wielding a katana in one hand and a semi automatic weapon in the other.

3. Cobra Commander - Gi Joe

Opposite of Snake eyes and higher on the list is the shrill voiced Cobra Commander, as much capable of being wicked as running away like a coward coward, the various garbs of the Commander left us always wondering how good his visibility really was and just what the hell he looked like, because though we all assume he was a man... we never really knew now, did we.

2. V - V For Vendetta

Veni, vidi, vici... well almost. Barely missing the top spot, V represents all things cool and all things extreme. Complacency through coersion and control is something to be reviled, and V did the nasty to the establishment by bringing true anarchy to the UK. Brilliant, strong, skillful, witty and a great person to chat with when he doesn't have you locked up thinking you're at a concentration camp, V represents an idea that sometimes sounds like just what the world needs.

And the #1 spot goes to.........

1. Nanny - Muppet Babies

No other single character from my childhood has more begged the question, what the hell does she look like than Nanny. I watched Muppet Babies marathons, owned the entire McDonald's set and progressed from Babies to adult Muppets at the correct time. To say that I miss the satisfactin I got from Saturday morning cartoons is a huge understatement, that I can say that I miss the Muppet Babies is an even larger one. Who ever thought striped leg warmers, a purple sweater and a pink skirt could be THAT comforting.


shaun. said...

the smoke monster and doctor claw are at the top of my list.

Osama Zain said...

Good another post :)
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