Sep 6, 2009

Divine 69 - Part 5 of 7 #'s 29 to 21

29. Catwoman - Detective Comics

Pass me the kitty litter, I just wet myself. Catwoman, barring Hally Berry's dingle berry representation has always taken sexy, dangerous and horny to the max. No wonder batman was still into her even after getting stabbed, kicked, punched, scratched and whipped like the little bat boy he is. Face it people, Selina Kile is one hot woman, but Cat Woman, well I can be her ball of yarn anytime.

28. Lulu - Final Fantasy X

Edgy, deep, skilled, magical and gorgeous. When you look at Lulu from final Fantasy your inner child has to grope itself. Face it, you're playing a bloody video game and you are enamored by a fictitious representation of a woman. By the way, that fuzzy outfit with belts plus the embroidery and chinese hair tongs aren't helping me cope with the fact that you don't exist. In all things beautiful. Lulu DEFINITELY puts a spell on you.

27. Cheetara - Thundercats

Ladies, men like freckles but LOVE cheetah spots. Get used to it. Accept it and don't fight it, because it will be a losing battle. Yeah she's another feline vixxen, but hell people, look at her. That crazy eye shadow, that flowy spikey hair, those beautiful spots and the felinely tuned body (no that was not a typo). Trust me, her weapon of choice was a no brainer, because anyone that was too close to her during combat HAD to have an extending staff.

26. Ivy - Soul Calibur

Skimpy gets you noticed... a chain whip sword gets you respected. Ivy from Soul Calibur defies gravity and defies description because most guys are too busy collecting themselves trying to not clutch their joystick THAT hard. Simply put, she makes hot look frigid and leans more toward the ranks of supernova.

25. Sniper Wolf - Metal Gear Solid

What is it with women that are drop dead gorgeous and capable of ending our lives that we find so appealing? I don't know. But I do know that Sniper Wolf is one sexy hound. Coming from one of the choicest selections of videogame history, the bout with her was awwesome though ultimately an aperitif in the sniper boss battles aspect of life... but boy.... did we love getting our asses getting shot over and over and over again. Here's looking at you Snipe, no doubt I'm a milisecond away from getting sniper tagged by one of the very best.

24. Mary Jane - Spider man

Having the backup of your woman is one of the most important things about Mary Jane. The fact she was drop dead gorgeous completes the package. In the fictitious sense of the phrase, Mary Jane was to redheads what Marylin Monroe was to blondes. Drop dead gorgeous, ballsy, self assured and always willing to stick by her man without the need of any webbing. Something to consider most definitely.

23. Adult Midna - Zelda Twilight Princess

Midna ranks so high on this series because she surprised the hell out of me. After accompanying me in one of the best Zelda's designed so far, it turns out that the dwarf goblin kid is actually an adult hottie with thigh glyphs that made her all that more astounding. That she was actually manipulating you throughout your adventure only makes things that more interesting because lord knows what one will agree to just to appease this beauty.

22. Kagero - Ninja Scroll / Taki - Soul Calibur

The twenty two tie comes down to two ninjas that are each beautiful in their own right. On one side you have Soul Calibur's Taki showing that gravity need not apply to her moves or her breast and on the other side you have the deadly beautiful Kagero. Both are capable of killing you with a select few swipes of her daggers and the other was just one badass ninja that unfortunately faced stiff competition, ultimately showing that though godly beautiful, Kagero was quite human and quite mortal. The lesson at hand though is simple, if you have doubts if you're sexy or not, feel free to submit to fighting skills and beauty. In our ninja loving hearts, both of these gals deserve a definitely special spot.

21. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

One of the main über hotties in video game history, with more cgi naked versions of her than she'd like to admit, Lara comes it at number 21 because she is über hot, has an english accent, can shoot twin guns with the best of them and showcases enough sexy poses to make any of the deceased mummies whose tombes she pillaged have a permanent case of rigor pelvis.


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