Do critics matter?

In response to Me’s post from 2/2/09:

Not all chefs are good chefs. Not all lawyers are good lawyers. Not all doctors are good doctors. Mediocrity nestles itself everywhere. Likewise, not all critics are good critics.

The article you reference is a clear example of how the democratizing effect of the Internet is instilling fear in the hearts of academics and purists. The fact that the people DO have a powerful voice to pass judgment on film, art, books, etc. via the Internet poses a serious threat to their mighty, elitist Ivory Tower. Like Meryl Streep said in the article, professional critics are “becoming irrelevant.” The times, they are a changing.

Of course, one must be wary. A lot of junk also gets filtered through the popular justice system. How else to explain the success of Beverly Hills Chihuahua? But still, just as you choose your friends and weigh the importance/relevance of their opinions, one should do the same with critics.

So, what makes a professional critic a good critic? What makes them relevant, still? In my opinion, a good critic doesn’t pass judgment; he provides context and significance. Think of him as more a historian than judge. Most critics aren’t filmmakers, so there goes their credibility, in my opinion. But a good critic will recognize the role of a film and its context. He’ll explain why the movie/restaurant/art/book/wine matters. Notice that the more respected critics NEVER give grades like they do in elementary school, much less a thumbs up or down. A good critic presents an analysis – it’s up to you, the reader, to engage in that discussion and determine if its worth it.

For examples of good critics, throw out your dusty copies of The New Yorker and pick up instead Time Magazine. Richard Corliss (movies) and Richard Lacayo (art) are the best. Every week I look forward to reading their take on stuff, even if I know I’m not gonna see it. Why? Because they provide context, not judgment. Reading their stuff is like participating in a great conversation. They are not condescending. They do not write from an Ivory Tower.

I don’t think criticism will die, but it certainly will evolve. We just need to filter them, like we do everything else.

Chi City's No Sex Zone Problem

This man is my new hero.

Face it, some days you just want to be over

Some days are great.

Some days are normal.

Some days are chill even.




But some days........ well some days you just truly want to get them the fuck over with.

I'm not saying today is one of those days, though it was a couple of bullshit strokes above par. I'm just saying that I do know what a truly shitty day in the context of a cushy work environment is all about.

Your computer might be spazzing, you might just get one bullshit fwd in an entire week when you just want someone to send a message and show they care, you might have had your significant other cheat on you with an inanimate object, your choice of poultry, a magical lima bean from the super market and your aunt Tilda. Maybe you fucked up and had five people bust your ass on it. Maybe you had your period and really didn't need some asshole to ask if you had your period because you snapped at something that deserved a snap regardless of your hormonal state. Maybe you broke a nail, chaffed your ass, splintered your bung, sat on a staple drank what you thought was your coffee and turned out to be someones office spitoon. Whatever it is, sometimes 24 hours (and much less when you think about it) don't pass fast enough.

To boot, as if you called the bullshit brigade to rain poop on your parade, shit keeps going wrong. A button from your shirt comes off, your high heel breaks, your soda was hot or the sandwich you yearned for was discontinued.

Yes folks, some days blow more than a hoover during an atomic power surge. But guess what, there's good news at the end of the inverted brown rainbow. There's a tomorrow. There's the chance to look back at what will be yesterday and just insist that the day was a total dick. That you won't do anything of significance on that day and be it passive aggressive in nature, it's better than nothing.

So here's to a tomorrow just in case today sucked rhino dick.

Cheers

You want something worthy of a flagging?

So it seems recently someone found something interesting on this site worthy of a flag. For those who don't know, getting flagged means someone basically reported you some place because the content of your blog and or website is not deemed appropriate by someone with a weak stomach, intolerance to fucked up ideas or a low threshold for creative uses for the words fuck, cunt, dick, cock, cum, jizz, asshole, cornhole, siberian donkey taint licking and or snatch buffet.

That being established, I can't say I'm surprised we've been flagged but only that it took this fucking long for someone to whine about what we write about. Consider this the unfriendly net neighborhood watch who insist on telling other people that it's a boo boo to read ridiculous rants from people who are in dire need of venting and rather than fisting the first dumb ass to truly say something offensive, we just log onto this here little blog and write our woes away.

Content on this site has always been fucked up. From the get go. I'm telling you that there have been comparisons with shit, piss, vomit, semen, menstrual flux and any other bodily discharge your average male or female can produce. But finally... FINALLY someone took notice that maybe we're a bit too fucked up in the head for our own good. So to the person who flagged us and has made following this blog's progress on technorati something of a super fucking chore, here's to you.

Thank you for representing what is weakest in us. For not having a sense of humor. For possibly finding offense in the term Trixie Dimple Tits as coined by moi. Thanks for showing what the weakest link in the humor chain is all about. Thank you for not being able to change the channel and for feeling the moral imperative of informing your prude peers about the maladies parading in this little blog of scorn. Or was it a vengeful company CEO, or CD that got wind of what is being written here? Is it possible one of the hateful scumbags that have taken years from my life through incompetence and slave trade sensibilities has actually stumbled upon this blog and seen himself reflected in the words we spew forth.

Has a mighty Valhalla man poked a peon's blog in the eye? Well if so I suggest you smell that finger, because the only eye you poked was my lovely brown eye, and I'm sorry to say, today I jogged. So enjoy the musky felch worthy boucquet on your finger.

Or wait, did some Republican read and see that we're openly liberal or democratic? Say it ain't so my cute white elephant. For a second I thought I was on the right trek to finding honest Republicans that believe in the system and want the best for this country without having to resort to barbarically ancient conservative ways.

Or maybe it was homeland security that saw we'd be writing about el Che, and actually not agreeing with his movie portrayals or real life exploits.

But when I think of it. The odds of something that interesting or worthwhile being the reason why some douche bag wants to indirectly censor us, it just becomes obvious that some yuppy dildo or dildette probably had nothing better to do after watching and believing anything Fox news has to say about the world and decided to be a little bitch and digitally bitch at big brother.

So whoever did the flagging, applause to you, for being exactly the type of person I abhore, resent and hope you get an ingrown hair in your crotch.

And to all those who enjoy our sctalogical fuckterpieces

Cheers my brethren

Joker's 20 on 20 M.D.O.D.

So you thought this series wasn’t going to be finished? Uh-uh, no way, no how. There are quite a few series I haven't finished and this is one I really want to finish. There are just too many great blogs out there for me to scratch this series without getting to the end.

So next in the 20-20 series is the contribution by 911 Doc from MDOD. Lets put it this way, if you think we’re jaded from our daily traverses through the dumbass world of advertising, just try and think how you’d do in a health care environment and all the shit they have to deal with on a daily or hourly basis. These people are real doctors, who work day in and day out caring for people that are sometimes difficult, often times whiny and annoying yet occasionally very thankful, as am I for 911 Doc taking some time to answer my random batch of questions.


MDOD is pretty much a compilation of unruly doctors that tell shit like it is and make my vents look tame in comparison. There are various contributing writers pushing forth their own brand of anger, what the fuckness or sick perverted humor and I can’t help but recommend this read to anyone at the very least curious as to what a doctor does on an average day. Many thanks to AdBroad for having indirectly referred me to this crazy bunch since I’ve always wanted to ask like a million questions to doctors… for this exercise I settled on 20. Here’s the result.


20 Bloggers.


20 Questions.


No filtering.


Enjoy.



1.) How many people participate in MDOD? Give a brief description of each if possible.


We have seven docs who participate at MDOD, though Dr X is hard to locate and usually in a bad mood.
Brief descriptions:

911doc- angry

Lofty Zahari- angry

Etotheipi- angry and twisted

Quixxote- angry

DRX- sociopathic

ERDoc85 - angry

Schrodinger's Cat - angry

and

Olfarft- angry (and old).


2 & 3.) Describe what MDOD means to you. How do you all know each other?

MDOD started simply as a safe place for me to vent about practicing emergency medicine. It's not like "ER" on TV and it's not like anything on TV... it's the ER. at about the same time other ER docs decided to start blogging and venting and I am glad for that. For those of us who write at MDOD I believe it is basically a place to vent, but it seems that we reach a lot of folks outside of medicine and to the extent we tell them 'how it really is' perhaps we are more than a place for burned out docs to vent.


JOKER: Trust me, you guys are. I always enjoy seeing differnt perspectives and ways of seeing life and one can't help but wonder what a doctor's take on typical life bullshit might be different from your average layman since most people almost consider doctors a different species and often forget that they're people with lives, frustrations, feelings of dejection and who are flesh and bone.


4.) Describe what a bad day is like for you and compare it to what you normally hear people complain about as a bad day?


Hmm, what is a 'bad day' for me? my answer is not a shift in which people die or throw up on me or any of those things (though they are certainly bad), but rather, a shift where I am so busy I forget to pee. right after i see my last patient I finally remember I need to pee and then it takes me about three hourse to calm down enough to sleep. another surely bad day is a shift in which you pronounce a child dead. the experience itself is something i never want to have again, and the parental conference is the worst thing i can imagine outside of torture.

JOKER: More than anything, I asked this so people could put things in perspective and get a different answer from your typical person dying scenario. Obviously that isn't a pleasant experience, but if you're a doctor and more so in ER, it seems that's just something you'll have to come to terms with. As for forgetting to pee... shit man, I can't even begin to fathom what it would be like for me to forget to take a piss. As for taking three hours to calm down, I can relate to the symptom, though not the cause, meaning that I might have trouble getting to sleep, but it's most likely due to some batch of senseless mind numbing project that really contributes little or nothing to society.


5.) What blogs do you read?

In terms of blogs I read it really varies a lot depending on how much time I'm putting into MDOD. if i have time the blogs linked on MDOD are my favorites. Adios to monkeygirl by the way. love ya gal.

JOKER: It's interesting to see the different things people are into and to find awesome links to random blogs just for reading some random blog.


6.) Your job would be so much better if you had these five things.

My job would be so much better if I had.... patients who take responsibility for themselves (that's one through four) and 5. ... if I had a job that paid me based on my training, skill, and worth.

JOKER: I can't help but smile at how some sentiments echo from one industry to another. As for patient's taking responsibility for themselves? That's like asking your average desk jockey to take the blame for their fuckup rather than point a finger and try to Hot Potato the blame over to someone else.


7.) What are some of your heroes and why are they your heroes?


My heroes are not hard to figure out based on my answer above. I will always love Winston Churchill and in terms of movie heroes I love almost all of Clint Eastwood's characters. Folks that I know that are heroes? Most of the pilots I served with, my friends who have deployed in service of our country, and the United States Marines.

JOKER: I have various friends in the Marines and the Army. Can't say I'm happy any time they're deployed because I'd rather shit being all rosy, but without these guys, we'd probably be ultra fucked. So hats off to the people in uniform. As for Winston Churchill, interesting choice. Not many people owuld pick a succesful British politician, army officer, orator, nobel prize winner and writer as a hero... They're too busy sucking on the smell of Kanye's ego. So great choice.


8.) If you had a shot to do something else with your life (and were actually interested in doing something else), what would it be and why?


If i were given a choice of 'what to do with my life' I would probably still choose medicine. It's a calling, and it's hard to envision doing anything else. This is a problem because it's become so unlike the job that folks had even fifteen years ago. I think if I had to choose another career I would be a teacher and a coach. Maybe that's what I'll do next?

JOKER: interesting. I asked because I know some doctors who have changed specialties, but stayed in medicine because it is their calling, while others have opted to change careers altogether and after 10+ years studying, I don't even know how to react to such changes except to applaud them for not settling.


9.) Four books everyone should read; four cd's everyone should listen to; four movies everyone should watch.

Four books everyone should read:

Mere Christianity: CS Lewis. The first time I read it, it made me quite uncomfortable, the fiftieth time I read it I still got more out of it. For those who are not believers it is the best book on understanding the faith that built this country.

The Lord of the Rings: Tolkien was a contemporary of CS Lewis at Oxford and they were friends (Tolkien was Catholic and Lewis Anglican)

Deep Survival: new book, Lawrence Gonzalez, required reading for anyone who wants to know how to make it through a disaster, an illness.

The Last Lion: William Manchester. A great history of the life of Winston Churchill written by a former marine who fought in the South Pacific. It’s part of a trilogy but Manchester never finished the last installment.


CDs?

moondance, van morrison. (So fucking true. Love this cd though would couple it with Astral Weeks. Just Van at his best).

Eat a Peach: allman brothers.

Led Zeppelin II. I've always debated which is the best Zeppelin album. I'm between II and I though the rest are also incredible, but the first two are just insane as to how good they are.

Funky Kingston, Toots and the Maytalls. Great choice. My brother would be very proud.

Movies?

Unforgiven, Clint Eastwood.

Apocalypse Now.

Cool Hand Luke

Animal House.



10.) Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Hopefully on this side of the grass and out of the ER.



11.) What are your greatest fears?

Greatest fear? The playing out, in our country, of the classic book 1984.

JOKER: Scary how possible it is huh?


12.) What do you think of medical shows like Scrubs, ER, Grey's Anatomy and House MD? How do those shows compare with reality?

I love scrubs. The others I don't watch. ER was good for a while but it is not the way a busy trauma center works (though they do a good job with the medical stuff). House is a joke and I don't get it.

JOKER: I asked this one because I don't know how many people swear they know about being a lawyer because of Law and Order, could be a crime scene specialist thanks to CSI or magically become whiz doctors because they watch these Med shows. Amazing the amount of self manufactured bullshit people ingest.


13.) What do you miss most about college if anything?

College? Everything. Even though we thought we were anything but carefree, we were. It was fantastic. I understand the pull of staying there forever and many of my friends have done just that.


14.) What medicines would you never take and why?

Medicines I would not take? Hell I'll take just about anything legal if it helps. The proliferation of the colon cleanse and alternative medicine stuff is nothing but shit (pun intended). The reason that alternative cures are still around is that people will always look for a quick fix. Snake oil can not be banned. But the guy on the late night infomercials talking about observing his four year old daughter's bowel habits gives me the creeps and he's making millions. People will pay for his snake oil without blinking but do not want to pay for traditional, western medicine.

JOKER: People shall now and forever want a quick fix. Happy pills. Pain go bye bye pills etc. For my part, I just try to avoid meds whenever possible but if my stomach is fucking with me or I have a headache worthy of a cranky mother of five having to deal with multiple child meltdowns, I won't be a dick and I will take the aspirin. But if it's something mild, screw it.


15.) What would you say to anyone interested in embarking a career in medicine?

If it's in your heart go to it. Keep in mind to be smart with how you finance your education as it will dictate your specialty choice. Hard to bite on the pediatrics residency if you come out of residency owing 300k and making 80k. If it's something you are thinking about because you like the idea of being called 'doctor' then do something else.

JOKER: It's sad that so many people seem to do it for the money and respect. good to see people genuinely interested in helping others.

16.) What is the most common diagnosis you see?

Most commons diagnosis? 'Not sick'. in all seriousness this is the only thing that matters to me, is the pateint sick or not. Most are not. Other than that, upper respiratory illnesses and chest pain.

JOKER: I wonder how this answer would change from state to state, from country to country etc.

17.) What are some basic rules for your day-to-day work?

Rule number 1 through 10... everyone is sick until I prove they are not.

JOKER: Interesting philosophy.


18.) Describe your experience as a med intern. What were some of the most important lessons you learned?

Internship rules. Two options. If you are gunning for a neurosurgery position be front and center, never sleep, read all the time, and volunteer whenever possible. If you just want to make it through, which is the norm, hang back, do your work, and shut the fuck up. Our medical training programs are so thorough that you can't help but learn it after years and years of repetition.


19.) What's the weirdest condition/accident/injury you've ever had to deal with?

Weirdest condition ever encountered? How can I choose just one? How about the guy who stuck a mayonnaise jar up his ass to 'relieve constipation'? Then there’s the woman who put pennies in her vagina because timothy McVeigh had just been executed and she was warding off his ghost (yes, she was schizophrenic).

JOKER: Maybe the guy thought Miracle Whip could really do miracles though if he could fit a mayo jar up his ass, I think his last worry would be constipation. Makes you think twice about saying that everything tastes better with mayo. As for the woman? Maybe she was offered advice by someone with a heavy Hispanic accent insisting that she put some clean penis in her vagina and not to worry. Or maybe she trusted in the power of Old Abe or maybe she just secretly wanted matching odors from both orifices. Who knows?


20.) Dissect me with any question you might be curious enough to ask.

Questions for you: if you are a surfer, how long would it take me, a snowboarder who can swim pretty well, to get at least marginally proficient at surfing?

JOKER: It shouldn't take long at all. I think snow is a much crazier surface to carve on though I haven't had the pleasure of riding really fresh powder. Only snowboarded once. But it should be an easy transition with a funny initial learning process for one simple reason. Surfers steeer with the front leg and stabilize with the back leg and snowboarding is inverted. Other than that, I think it's a great advantage if you snowboard actually. if you're having trouble with a short board, start with a long board in small surf first. If you can handle that, you'll transition much better to the shortboard. Just remember, spinning around in a long board is a bitch.

Second, if you live to surf, how do you make ends meet?

JOKER: you find a night job. or shifts that can allow you to have some income yet have the morning to surf. i'd say to live off fish etc, but that depends on where you're based. I would strongly recommend against eating anything fished from many Cali breaks just because, well, I think it's obvious. Your other option is to move to a place like indo or Costa Rica and be the American contact. Actually, if you work at Tavarua as a guide, you have a decent job, easy access to epic surf and can still save a buck here and there.

What's the secret to living a life based around your most loved activity which, unless you are a pro, doesn't pay the bills (I have an idea about this having spent two years as a ski bum in Colorado but I'm interested).

JOKER: Read above. For me, I love to surf and can't see myself without doing it, but I don't live to surf only. I love to play music and my passions are writing, music, surfing and boxing. I'd never be a boxer though I love the sport, don't consider myself good enough to be a recording artist, am not good enough to compete but I can write like a motherfucker, so the choice is simple. :) I just don't drop any of the other fixations in my life because there is no need to.

Many thanks for the great answers Doc. Take care and thanks for busting your ass on the job.

Cheers

Resolution Revolution

Resolution Report!

So 2009 is off and running and a month has already gone up and passed by beneath us. Yeesh. Well at the beginning of this year I’d said I’d be doing a monthly report on the status of all my resolutions and see how it all pans out month by month. That being said, I’ve been jotting down my progress in a notebook as well as just keeping tabs on what I’ve been up to, so without further ado. Here they go.

On the physical spectrum of life, I started getting into a routine a bit late so numbers are a bit low in that section but they’re coming along and the more comfortable I feel with my routine, the sooner I’ll be able to increase the amount of reps to be performed. For now though, here’s what I have so far:

PHYSICAL

Bicep Curls
200 / 5,000


Butterfly curls
200 / 5,000


Pushups
200 / 5,000


Sit-ups
150 / 10,000



Jumping Jacks
450 / 10,000


Squats
300 / 10,000


Miles run/walked
0 / 100


Yoga classes
N/A


Hours meditated
0 / 100


I’m more than clear that I need to work on my running/walking, meditating and yoga pursuits. The first two I can remedy while yoga will have to wait til I’m able to pay it without a hitch. As for the rest, finally getting into a routine so booyakasha for me. I expect a big bump in numbers by the end of February.


PROFESSIONAL


Freelance jobs
1 / 8 freelance

If by any chance someone needs a freelance copywriter to help em out, feel free to ask. Starting the year a bit slow, but hoping things will pick up. Only time will tell though.


Work proposals
3 in progress of 10

I'm actually about to submit three proposals this week, so wish me luck with those new things. Hope it's something that'll help me.

Work on portfolio
N/A

Haven't done much of anything with this but thinking of talking with the artist from my company to see if he isn't interested in doing something random for our portfolios.

RECAP:
Starting the year off slow in terms of freelances, but fret not, 11 months to go. The proposals are projects I want to submit officially and I’m still fine tuning a couple and waiting on responses from other people. I haven’t worked on my portfolio, but have drafted some ideas for stuff I want to do.


ACTIVITIES:


Surf Sessions
6 / 50

I'm extremely satisfied with the rate I'm surfing and hope to keep it up to meet the deadline. Hoping I'll have a chance to surf on a weekday either afer work or during a random surf lunch. I've done it before, just have to be super efficient with my bullshit excuse, that's all.


Swim / bodysurf
0 / 10

As long as there good surf I don't expect this number to go up. Besides, I'm pretty sure this is a more summer activity.

Local tourism
N/A

No plans yet. When I get my credit card all paid for I'll start doing a couple of fancy trips with ma Mrs.

Concerts
0 / 5

Yet to go to one. Shame on me, then again, I did mention that thing about wanting to pay off my credit card right?


Trips
0 / 2

None yet, lets hope this changes.

Writing with Pen & Paper
Could write more but not completely negligent. Lets see if I can keep working on the book and looking for an excuse to spurt some ink. :)



Movies
1 / 40


Paul Blart: Mall Cop – Honestly, it isn’t bad but I was expecting much more from the movie. It’s like it didn’t try its best to really be a great comedy flick and everything felt rushed and under developed, especially my laughter. Oh wait, there wasn't much of that going on either. Just barely passing grade for me.



Watch DVD’s I’ve bought

3 down lord knows how many to go.

Pi – Darren Aronofski is officially one of my favorite directors along with Kubrik, Sam Mendes, David Lynch, David Fincher and Ford Coppola. I’m looking forward to seeing the Wrestler. Wow, that last sentence was the biggest understatement yet.

Escape from New York – A new Guilty pleasure if ever I saw one. John Carpenter is campy at times, but I can’t help but love his style. Snake Pliskin is the shiznit.

Inland Empire – David Lynch is so far removed from reality that I can’t help but enjoy his what the fuck moments. Not my fave Lynch flick, but a worthy add to the collection and proves that no one can do surreal like Lynch. I can only think of Frank Miller's S.P.O.S. (Steaming Pile of Shit) The Spirit film and see how fine a line absurd surrealism traverses. On top of that, I can only nod in approval at the ease with which Lynch makes a WTF movie that can’t help but capture my attention.


Videogames finished
3 / 20


Zakk and Wikki – Quest for Barbaro’s Treasure – Wii

Fun filled puzzle game that is way harder and gratifying than its kiddy look insinuates. If you own a Nintendo Wii and bitch there are no games to play, I hear ya and feel ya. But you can pick this one up for $20.00 brand new and see if you have what it takes to pass a game that is just what the Wii needs more of. Excellent game and gets my nod of approval as one of the ten games you HAVE to buy for your Nintendo Wii. Please, be a sport and trust me on this one.


Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes – Game Cube

It’s been a long time coming, I know. But I finally started playing the MS franchise and DAMNNNNNNNNNN this is some great game playing. I knew I was missing out on something big, but though it should have been obvious, I'm still extremely impressed.


Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty – PS2

Though I liked some elements from the first game more, including the boss fights, this is still a kick ass game with depth, good writing and engrossing gameplay. Already playing MGS 3 and I know I'll probably hope to buy a PS3 to play #4. Seriously solid game playing.


Books read
1/30

Yeah I know I'm slow on this, but I do a lot of reading in airport terminals, flights, doctor's appointments or when fixing up the car. None of these have happened lately, explaining why I'm so slow on this. Might have to drop the total to 20 at this rate to be realistic.

2nd book of The Bartimeus Trilogy – The Golem’s Eye

Great series if you like quasi kiddie fiction. There’s some great dialogue and literary devices used that I can’t help but enjoy. It’s a slow starter but once it picks up, it’s pretty hard to drop.


Playing guitar

Not playing five times a week necessarily, but doing pretty good and sometimes playing more than an hour to make up for lost time


ACQUISITIVE:


Get new computer

Looked into options, pricing and payment alternatives. As soon as feasible, will purchase the unit. Probably going to purchase an iMac with some software that could be the digital music recorder I need. We'll see what happens.


Net connection

Looked for info. As soon as things settle, this is mine. Can’t stand dial up one more second.


Digital recorder

N/A Read above



MONETARY


Save Money

N/A Still paying off a few things. Should be able to start this up by Early March at the latest. Wish me luck to be able to start saving up for the wedding peeps. :)


Payments
Gotten every one... for now


Mom’s cakes
Minimal help, could do more. Lets see what I can do to help.



Donations
Coordinated to donate $200 for one cause, will look into an additional one and if I get a super beefy freelance I'll probably donate a part of it.


KNOWLEDGE:

Learn / record songs
N/A Haven’t looked into it. Won’t forget though. This seems like one of those resolutions I might botch, but not intending to do so.


Learn Random Info
The usual fare of random stuff. This is such a given that it shouldn't be a resolution but might do a mini series offering interesting wtf tidbits.



Read the news
Doing pretty good. Can always read more but it feels good to be able to answer to most comments made by people relating current events.


Retake French
N/A Haven’t looked into it. I suck I know.



Dance classes
N/A Need to look into info pronto



WRITING:


WAS posts
18 / 200

With this one have two or three more on the way for tonight, but counting up until this post.


Posts in other blog
0 / 100

Damnit.... lets see if February has me getting my shit together.

Finish book
Still in chap 37 but hoping to get some writing done tonight and this week.


Write short stories
0 / 10*
Have one I’ll write this week probably. Hope I don't procrastinate too much. It's a boxing story. Not totally sure what I'll do when I finish it, but I've been meaning to write this for about 8 months. Just letting it simmer in my mind a bit.


Essay project
0 / 20
Need to get focused on this. I think it's a work with great potential. Lets see if I don't dick around too much.



Draft story arcs
0 / 3
Could be doing much more, will try and focus on finishing the structures. I've jotted down a bunch of ideas but haven't organized them yet.


WAS Movie
Still pending
Some great ideas come up though and will start drafting a storyline soon.


Progress reports
1 / 12
this is the first one


Standup piece
N/A – Need to put this in agenda somewhere.


Be more positive
Doing pretty good though I still have my funk days.



Forgive people

Forgotten. Have put to a side the gripes with a couple of people. Or so I say to myself every day. I just got tired no wasting energy on people that doen't deserve to consume me in said manner.


Negative energy
Still focusing and channeling energy for better things like a cuss filled post. More on this soon. :)


Love Mrs. Joker

Oooohhhh yeah - more each and every day. That's actually the easiest one of any list because few things come more natural to me than love this girl.

Lets see how I do in February though.

Cheers

Distant take on El Che

Having a Cuban mom and Cuban family, my perspective on the whole Che Guevara dick sucking we are witnessing lately is a little different from what's being dished out there. Did I see the Motorcycle Diaries? Yes. Did I enjoy the flick? Of course. It showed the ideal point of a revolutionary icon before he had taken a few decisions that have inspired hatred and disgust against what was supposed to be the Cuban Revolution and one of its center pieces. It's a good movie. Good music. Good message and in part paints el Che as a dreamer not about to compromise his vision of what was right. Excellent. But there's a bit more to the whole Che story than what I've seen out there.

For those that don't know, before Castro came to force, there was another sumbitch known the world over as Batista. There was a revolutionary party designed to thwart the existing dictatorship and this party was led by el Che and Fidel pretty much hitched a ride to become the new leader of Cuba, also known as a self appointed dictator. So the equation is real simple for Cubans: Thanks to Che Guevara, they got Fidel.

To make a long story short, turns out a revolution obviously needs some broken eggs and among the lovlier ideas Che had was what is known as "los paredones"... AKA, those nifty walls where they put people up and shoot them down. Yet people the world over glorify el Che and have now jumped onto the wagon of further adoring someone who was far from the Saint he's been sold on to idealistic people looking for someone to give thanks to for freedom, rebellious natures and whatever the fuck else they want to give El Che credit for.

I haven't seen the Che films and I'm still on the fence about watching them because I'm sincerely worried at my reaction when coming out of the theater since conflicting emotions are pretty much a given. On one part I can admire the balls, commitment, gumption and conviction of an individual that can be integral in overthrowing an unjust government. On another part, you just need to talk to a few Cubans to find a nice bevy of stories to make you think twice of wearing a Che style beret, cap or T-shirt.

Che was no saint. True he got killed before he could thwart Castro upon his ideological and political stance change, but by no means should we now scatter to turn a blind eye to history.

What I guess I'm really trying to say is, would people please stop worshipping the Che based solely on half truths, what they see on the TV and what that crazy fucker from your humanities class rambles on about?

Just a thought.

Talkin' about Movie Reviews: I HATED CHE

Che Guevara is one of the most recognized icons of Latin America. His face, looking upward like a true superhero has been on every poster and tshirt imaginable. Handsome, young... a true warrior. The thing is, to most generations, he is only known as that: an icon. Not much know about what he did or why he did it. So when Che came along, I thought, hey, this is a great way for people to know about his life.

Yyyyyyyyyeah right. This is one of those moments when I say: hang on to your 8 bucks friends. This is one movie that you might want to wait for it to run... not on HBO... on TNT or something else.

Yep, call me the asshole, I don't care. I know it has been getting rave reviews all over. Benicio del Toro is getting prizes left and right. Well, I put in my movie ticket allowance and found myself wanting to knit or yank my hair, strand by strand, instead of watching what I call a kind of boring video.

I mean... look. I saw the Motorcycle Diaries. Thought it was perfect. It showed us the true Che. From the beginning! We learned about his younger years, what he lived, what changed his world views, and what could and did cause his destiny. So that movie was great, dramatic, interesting, intelligent... a great flick. Now, the base was there. The next logical step was to take it further...

Logic, it seems, is nowhere to be found. As I watched and watched and watched, all I could think of was: where's the story? It lacks structure and in a big way. For me, it was like watching snippets of what happened to him, not well connected. This little thing happened here, that little thing happened there... Fidel... The Guerrilla... But... but... Give me a damn sructure! I don't care if you go backwards or jump time lapses, just give me anything that remotely resembles logic! Go from point a to b, I don't care how you do it, but explain to me why the fuck is he firing at people!

There were many moments when I thought... damn with a great screenwriter, this moment could have been golden. For example, when he meets Fidel for a nice chat about the revolution, all we get is superficial babble. Dammit! Here we have one of the greatest pairs in history and all you can give me is: yeah, we should do this shit? Revolution, dude... the best?

And I really don't get all the hoopla around Del Toro's acting. He has done better work, period. Usual Suspects' Fenster? Epic. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' Dr. Gonzo? Amazing shit on film. This Che is great, but there are many other great acting moments that top his Che, any day of the week.

For me the problem lies around directing, editing and screenwriting. Yeah, the big three. Directing because there are no bones and ligaments enough in this world to make this movie stand up straight. It curves in all the wrong places and the director should know better. Editing because... it was cut, cut, cut overload. That movie was sliced so much I even started bleeding through my nose. Cut the movie too fast when it doesn't need it and you have a real problem of normal human beings trying to make sense of it all. Screenwriting? Oh yes I have made my point a couple of times during this post. What else can I say about the script? Well... give me a reason. Tell me why Che is thinking this or doing that. Backtrack a bit. Give me an insight. Don't think that because I saw the Motorcycle Diaries I should be up to date on Che's feelings or point of view.

I honestly cannot for the life of me watch the second part. Wait, wait. I know that in order to review a movie I have to watch it in its entirety. But honestly, let me put it this way: imagine for a second that I am in deep shit, captured by Fidel himself in the jungle and I have a gun to my head. Watch the second part or I get it square in the head?

I would say... FIRE!

Is it me...

...or did most of the Super Bowl ads just sucked a little bit? Discuss...

Movie reviews should be done by professionals? Really?

Click at the name of the post and see why I'm kind of going what the fuck right about now. You see, I don't get it. If I have been watching movies for an entire life, I should be allowed an opinion. We all should. Amongst the many reasons why we go to the movies, the single most powerful reason there is is this: word of mouth. If we see something good, it is completely natural to tell a friend or two about what we saw.

For those of us who have a blog, it is just logical to broaden our "friend zone" and tell anyone there is under the sun about a flick that sucked beyond belief or just shined brilliantly. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. So when someone is bitching about the fact that everyone is getting their movie reviews from the internet and not from so called "critics", that pisses me off.

We are all critics. We have the right damn right to say what we think of a film. Come on, honestly. We all have paid good money, have gone to the theater quite enough to have an opinion on what's good or what sucks. Think about it! If I wasted my good earned money on a turd of a film, I will gladly tell you about it so that you can save that money and wait for it on HBO. If something was astounding, I am the first to help the film in promoting it as much as I can. So what is the big deal if I have an opinion and I didn't go to film school? In fact, I almost went! I have spent so many goddamn money on them, I should be given at least an honorary degree, dammit!

Granted, there are a few people out there who think that, for example, PS I love you is the greatest film ever. That people should be shot down and not be listened to, even if you are about to die and you get to rent one last movie before they fry your brain. Ok so those people are not reliable in movie reviews. But come on... if you have done your homework, if you have seen the classics, I don't see any difference between us and the average movie critic. Sorry, don't see it.

I'm not saying that any of our reviews are the rule of the land. We've been biased and even wrong a couple of times. People have written back and given us their opinions and it's all good. But to discard what the internet is saying about a film or two is just wrong. Dammit, the internet elected an incredible president. It was because of our voices that the United States has Obama in the White House? So now our likes and dislikes are ruining the profession? Fuck no.

Besides, if it wasn't for the internet bloggers, many of independent and wonderful films would not get any publicity, period. Most documentaries would come and go without two people renting them. Great actors would not get as much recognition as the average movie stars. So what if we didn't love Batman's voice in the Dark Knight? Do you think that that movie suffered because of our reviews? Not by any means. I just think that this is all bullshit.

What do you think?

Five Villains that Define: Me.

Once every blue moon, something dark arises from the best of us. Think about it. It might be a douchebag that does a terrible thing to us... maybe a client called in and brought out the monster within. Hey, we're human, we're not perfect. We have good traits and really crappy ones. The fact that we acknowledge them is, in my book, golden. So that left me thinking... who are the five villains out there that I go "Bingo!" everytime I see them? Let's find out.



1) Hannibal Lecter
Equal parts of intelligent and truly demented. This is THE MAN. Think about it. He loves to dress perfectly. His demeanor is of a true gentleman. He likes good wine and excellent food. Oh, he's a great chef! What's not to love?



2) Quentin Tarantino's Bill
You don't mess with him, ever. If you are in the family, then take it to your grave, literally. Cross him and he will fuck you up, hard core. Besides, I love his voice. So calm and collected, even when he's planning to cut you in little pieces... Epic.



3) Kaiser Soze
Talk about a great mind fuck. Kaiser will make your brain melt if you let him. What I love about him is that he trusts almost no one, a rule of thumb in my book. Oh and if you mess with him, every single person you know is getting ripped a new one.



4) Khan Noonien Singh
I can only say one thing: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Khan just freezes it like no one else. Period.



5) Satan
He's just a funny cat. How in the world just one being can cause so much fear? Just say the name in some parts of the world and you will howl at the reaction. I honestly don't think he ever existed, I just believe that we all are capable of the worst. But, you have to agree with this theory: if we ever die and have the bad deal of going to hell, there's going to be a lot of cool people there...

So there you go. Try to embrace your evil side and join in the fun. Trust me, it's a hard thing to do...

My gift for you on the manliest of days: Boobs!

Enjoy Super Bowl Sunday, my sweet men.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

My Thoughts Exactly

This is what I thought when I saw the original ad: WHAT?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.