Jan 4, 2010

I WILL GLADLY SHOW MY BOOBS AND POONANIE.



Yes. I used caps in that title. It's me, screaming my lungs off. I will show anybody my boobs and womanly privates WITH PLEASURE if that means that I am going to survive a plane flight.

Am I referring to the use of scans at airports. Yes. Am I not "worried" about privacy? FUCK THAT. In fact, let me state it, very plainly. Fuck my privacy. Fuck your privacy. We've seen tits. We've seen ass. We've seen dongers and big hairy balls. YES. BALLS. You've seen balls. I've seen balls. Not a big whoop anymore.

Are you really thinking that you need to worry about showing your butt in order to live????

Well sorry guys. If you are worried about a stupid thing like that, I totally get you. Travel by boat and leave the rest of us the option of NOT DYING when some idiot decides to tape some dangerous chemical to his balls.

Why am I so angry? Oh! Let's explain.

Let's start with the fact that I got on a plane on December 26. A day after that idiotic buttmuncher Nigerian decided to play kaboom with the lives of 250+ people. I went on my vacation and when I got back to the airport, I spent 4-5 hours - and I am not exaggerating one bit - from the front of the airport to the terminal.

Some lady almost, and I mean almost, went boldly where only my boyfriend goes. My luggage was completely screened. Both our carry on bags were denied at the gate, we had to hurry and put all we could in my bag so we only had one thing between us. Oh, and when we got to the gate... surprise. Another screening, another woman wanted to see if something fit under my boobs (Um. Honey, I pass the boob pencil test. My boobs are perky, even if I wanted not one little explosive would stick... Beeyatch!). Another dude actually opened up my makeup, opened my wallet. They looked in every nook and cranny.

Did I mind? Hell NO! I would have bent over and shown them anything they want. But now, the thing that pisses me off. People are actually bitching about not having body scanners because, gasp, it would mean the loss of their privacy. WHAT? Dude! They are looking inside your bag! Your plastic shlong WILL be seen! Your candy panties will be the talk of the gate anyways! Why not just make the process easier and faster and let a scanner do the rest!

Look. I want to live after going to Hawaii, Greece or any other country in my bucket list. If that means that we all have to look at our little boobies and dicks, so be it. What matters the most? I say my life.

There. Jeez. I feel so much better.

5 comments:

Macdara Ó Graham said...

Could you be any more dramatic!!!! With such hysteria all you promote a pervasive state of fear, allowing authorities further control over civil liberties and freedom. The precieved threat of dying in a bomb on a flight is infinately less than dying in a car crash for example.
Living in a state of fear is the opposite of love. I know which one i'd rather choose.

Me said...

Funny. The hysteria is all in your head. I am actually angry.

Honey, I'm so sorry you really need to protect a part of your body to control your civil liberties or freedom. I truly believe freedom is defined different.

Oh and another thing: I clearly wrote about traveling safely. Not fear.

If traveling in a more safe environment saves my life or yours, well I vote yes for scans.

Let's talk about car crashes then! Would you like to know if your designated driver decided to do five lines of coke? Took five shots of Tequila? Just drives like a retard and you didn't know anything about what could happen?

Jesus read the news. I'm not being hysterical. We want just to get on and off the plane, safe.

Are crazy people out there yes. Are normal people out there? Sure. Should we think all planes are filled with crazy people? Duh. That would be hysterical... right? Now. Should we be intelligent and keep an eye out to protect people like you and me? Hm. Sounds kind of cool...

Next time you think about YOUR liberties, think of having a baby and getting on a plane. Think of that little person's life.

I'd do anything for my baby to be safe. Even disagree with people like you, and gladly show my boobs to the next TSA person. Smiling.

That's living in a state of love, sweetheart.

Xydtipaht said...

SCAN SCAN SCAN away. Yes ma'am, I like you will gladly show my balls and sausage to fly free of fear.

You, dude with stupid civil liberties bullshit. You want to discuss all that shit when you are roasting in a giant flying metal coffin on your way to hell...bon voyage!!!!

And the last sentence: Living in a state of fear is the opposite of love. I know which one i'd rather choose." You go Sir!!! Idiot!!! Stop being stupid, walk though the F*ckin scanner and board the plane. Why you always have to be about you, you, you.

I will say again in plain English "Let then see your privates = safe flight. Be a CL & F freak, don't scan = live in fear of being blown up."

Be a MAN, grab your balls, smile and walk on through.

Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

So, macdara has a tiny cock and is so embarrased about showing it to people, bless him....✊✊✊💦💦💧 wanker...

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