Feb 28, 2010

Dear George Clooney... Part One.

Dear "Most Darn Handsome" man that walks the Earth, which I want to totally try to reproduce with;

Hi. *Blushing*. I'm Me. I'm what you would call your biggest fan, but without the psycho factor. Wait. Nope. I don't deserve the biggest fan title either. I don't live my life watching almost every movie you have made. In fact, let's just not talk about Batman and Robin. Just... let's not. I didn't watch you on that show that you were a doc...

Wait, wait. I did enjoy the Ocean series, the American Airlines flick, and you star in one of my favorite movies of all time, From Dusk 'til Dawn. Does that count for anything?

Nope? Ok. OK! So I'm your average fan. But I just find you so damn hot, my ovaries twitch a bit every time I see a photo of you. For me, my friend, that is enough to deserve the fan title. Moving on...

So what am I doing? This is a "two birds with one stone" idea. See, my blog needs some numbers. I need my 15 minutes of fame. If Perez Hilton got famous by drawing dicks on the photographs of celebrities' mouths... If Julie Powell got a movie made - with Meryl Streep by the way - while writing about Julia Child's book... Get the picture? Gimmicks get you places. Last night, some dude got his blog reviewed for 10 seconds on CNN. I bet he shit his pants and got amazing numbers that day.

(Oh lord. I cursed in a letter to George Clooney. *Sigh*.)

Yeah. Where was I? I need to do something so people notice our little corner of the internet. I needed a gimmick. So I plan to write you a letter from time to time, to tell you about my day, about work, about whatever comes to mind. This is Me. Reaching out with absolutely No hope whatsoever to the greatest example of a male homo sapiens that breathes and walks somewhere in the Planet Earth. Yes!

Will this work? Well, maybe someone somewhere finds this 'StumbleUpon-worthy". Maybe if I really go mental and write as much as I can and with most sexual innuendo possible, maybe it actually gets to you.

So GeorgieBoy. Me love you long time. Looking forward to writing you during the following months. Much love, Me.


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