Feb 2, 2010

"How difficult can it be?"

In life, you are bound to have some things get repeated time and time again. Some you enjoy. Some you don't. Some get you angry. Some sad. But this line, this amazing little line, always frustrates the shit out of me. Today, I heard it again. And it's still a bitch.

How difficult can it be?

People who need anything related to advertising, design, creativity, writing or anything that requires having an iota of talent will utter this crap shit of an expression at some point of their lives. And like the word FUCK, it has different meanings.

Since today I had that epiphany, I will try to resume what this line means, so you young and hopeful people out there who are starting out maybe learn from us tired and angry ad people and live a better life. Who knows. So, let's do this!

How difficult as in "why is this shit so expensive?"
You need to resize a vertical half page ad into banners, websites, full page ads, brochures, flyers, stand up banners, invitations and anything that can be done into paper, basically. You quote 6 hours, knowing full well that it's going to take you longer. Then your bitch ass client calls back. 6 Hours for 15 different pieces at x amount? How difficult can adapting be that you attempt to charge me so damn much? Lord kill me.

How difficult as in "do you really need all that time?"
I need to revise a webpage, they ask. You need to move some items, add new photographs and change a telephone number. Oh and I know I called you today, but I need it for tomorrow, early in the morning. I mean... you really don't need more time than that, right? Satan eat my soul.

How difficult as in "if you quote it and it's expensive, can I do it instead?"
This may apply more to copywriters than anyone else. You see, while clients find it difficult to get Illustrator or Photoshop... there's always a Microsoft Word. Hence, they are copywriters ipso facto. So if they don't have the bucks to write a slogan or maybe a simple radio ad, they will first call you up to see how much you charge and then decide if the task is so simple that they can do it for free themselves. Fucking morons.

How difficult as in "are you a moron designer/creative/writer/producer?"
This I've written time and time again: it doesn't matter how much you studied, where or when. Your clients think they know how to design, write, produce, quote, print or do anything else. So, of course, when you design that turd of an ad (because let's face it, they will hate it regardless), they will send you a shitload amount of changes. And of course, when you logically try to defend some of your wise choices, they will only retort this line so you get the message: how difficult can it be to OBEY and SHUT UP?

So there they are. Learn, young padawans. Maybe there are more, maybe my mind is blocking a clusterfuck of past situations which have traumatized me so damn hard that I refuse to remember. If you have any more alternatives to this line, for the love of God, use the comment box. We need to know that people are reading us! Write back! Anything! Write Mommy loves candy! Whatever... just write.

How difficult can it be?

With love. Me.


RestrictionsApply said...

When I’m lying peacefully on my deathbed, my last words won’t be “Rosebud.”
They’ll be “Everyone is a copywriter”…

stewbie2 said...

Love this post. And so freakin' true.

You need signage for the Super Bowl? 32 pieces of collateral? But you only want me to spend 10 hours of my time on it?

Dear. God.

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