Mar 20, 2010

Ad Obituaries: The Creative

Sarah Dumlotabich

Sarah Dumlotabich, lovingly known as Ass Hat, the Copy Nazi, Scumfuck and the bitch that really needed some dick has just passed away.

Sarah was a charismatic and passionate individual, traits she would most assuredly share with you even if you were witness to the Ode to Apathy that was her career. An extrovert by nature, which would help understand the continuous stints of verbal berate that was her general tone and manner when dealing with fellow professionals, this true angel of creativity was a true gift onto the world of copywriting, penning such classics as the 30 second Pine Sol Classic – Tears of Joy, the Clorox epic – Clean Undies, and the venerable Hemmorhid spot – Ouchie Poo. Sadly, her quest for creative perfection met an untimely end when she was prematurely submitted for heaven approval, due to wounds inflicted by a stapler. Metka Navil, a highly successful executive had these kind words to say about Sarah’s passing, “She just screamed at me for like the sixth time and everything else is just a blur. The next thing I remember is being covered in blood and people either screaming or applauding. I’d say I’m sorry but since she always said she valued honesty above else, well fuck that.”

Memorial services will be held at St. Mary’s Buddhist Church of Christ at 11:00 PM which is when she said she felt the most creative. In her memory, her ex-boyfriend chef is naming one of their steaks in her honor. He describes The “Sarah” as “thirteen ounces of tough steak that looks like a million bucks but that no one would ever eat… except me.”

Sarah is survived by her parents who still don’t know what she did for a living, a sister who was a successful lawyer and never took her seriously and her pet amoeba named Mo.


Susan said...

Whatever you're having, I'd like some too. Now that I have wiped the tears from my eyes.

Joker said...

Lol, awesome you enjoyed luv. All the best and I'll work on the recipe to get to you :)


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