Mar 4, 2010

Dear George Clooney, Part Deux.

To that special handsome guy who carries within him the sperm that can heal the world in a second... Hi George. It's Me again.

So today I will present my "case". Yes. I will go ahead and formally introduce myself, so you can fall madly in love with me and take me to your house in Lake Como. Don't worry. My boyfriend won't mind.

Right of the bat: I'm really bendy.

Ok. OK! Maybe I was a little bit too forward. Let me start with the basics. I was born to write but I got sidetracked into believing that I could make money being a copywriter. I am thirtysomething but people always say that I look twenty-ish, so there you go. I'm a brunette and carry the legacy with pride - um, that means that I'm a little bit feisty and no dumb idiot.

The men that have come in and out of my life report the following: I am not a psycho, I am a totally not jealous woman at all, I give total liberty to do what you want and never are needy, I am totally low maintenance. Also, I don't require jewelry or fancy purses to be happy.

I'm on the small side, but that just means that, again, I am really flexible and light to carry. Yes! LOL.

I don't have any vices - just wine. Oh and I really need to travel. A lot. But something tells me that you totally wouldn't mind, right? Nope. I will not travel with Pitt and wife. That chick has way too many kids for my taste.

Oh did I mention I love movies? My Netflix account is a constant stream of movies galore. So maybe when you take me out to Cannes and people take wonderful pictures of us... you take me to meet your pal Martin Scorsese, I would totally make you proud taking the correct shit about flicks and stuff.

What else... what else... Apart from the fact that I'm really bendy (repetition is key for success), I have not had any children. Yes, I am currently looking to have a baby with my boyfriend. But... but... Um...

Ok George. I have to call it quits on our relationship. Yes. On our second "letter date".

You see, I truly love my man. Sorry. You can be the handsomest (is that a word?) man in the world, but only second place. I cannot leave my Travis - as much as you want me to right now, I can tell. I love him way too much.

Can we be friends? Oh... Don't cry George. Don't worry. I will keep writing you as much as you can. As friends. Hope you understand.

It's not you. It's Me.


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