Mar 19, 2010

Face it. We will all die one day and our agency will just move along.

This week a friend of mine has been very sick and complaining quite a lot about having to go to work feeling like shit. I gave him a ring and suddenly I knew: I had to write about this theme, again, because somewhere in this world, people are not getting the basic idea:

YOU ARE NOT GETTING A MEDAL FOR BEING THE BEST ADVERTISING WORKAHOLIC. EVER. IT'S NOT HAPPENING!

There. Now, since I've noticed that many of you are not getting this simple, clear idea, I will gladly go back to explaining why you should just stay at home if you feel sick.

Guys, we're not doing something that is critical to the world. Normal, average human beings DO NOT depend on you going to the ad agency while you are:

• Puking really gory shit

• Shitting out really gory shit

• Bleeding of any orifice

• Experiencing fever that can make you really go berzerk and mental

• experiencing so much pain, it's not even funny

Face it! Sick people need rest! Now. Many people resist logic and actually go to work while not feeling well. While I have no problem if you want for your coworkers to hear you hurl/poop/bleed/agonize, I can understand why some of you out there cannot resist going to work. Here are some reasons. Tell me if you "suffer" from any of them:

1) You feel guilty for your coworkers = FUCK THEM. Honestly. I know that they will have to carry your stuff while you are gone. SO WHAT? You will do the same one day as well! It's supposed to be like that! Your coworkers are there for a reason - to do the job! If you're not there, then tough luck, it's their turn at the bat. Crying is for wimps.

2) You fear getting fired = this can only be tricky if you actually take a shitload of sick days. Yeah, I know some people are very sick by nature, but you have to find a balance. I've known a couple of people that consider a headache as sick day material. I've known chicks who count Menstrual pain as fact to stay at home. Yeah. This is bullshit. If you have a realistic balance and only skip work when it's actually needed, you really have nothing to fear. Just to go a doctor and get your papers together. Your boss will need them.

3) You honestly think the ad agency will go to the shithole if you don't go = are you THAT important? NO! Honestly! You MIGHT think you're all that, but honey, people can actually work without you. Yeah, it will be difficult finding that artwork that you have buried under many folders at some dark place at your Mac, but they will find it. My recommendation is: be organized and have all your shit easy to find. That way you will avoid stupid calls from the office while you have 103 fever. Just sayin'.

4) You really don't feel that bad and you think you can handle it = the beauty of the human body is very simple. If you betray it in some way, it will gladly fuck you up the ass in no time. Your body wants some cooperation. If it feels bad, it's expecting for you to get your sorry ass to a bed and lay down in it until the pain is gone. When you actually neglect to give it time to heal, it will nail you to the wall. Oh, you thought it would get better? No way man - says your body. Bend over. I will go medieval on your ass, right about now. Crank the pain, elevate the fever to 11. Fact. Your body will turn on you. So go home, rest.

5) You feel sick but are not worried about your coworkers = yeah, there is nothing better than sharing more than uncomfortable company parties with huge amounts of alcohol and ungodly kareoke singing. When you go sick to your agency, you are actually sharing your shit. Your puking/pooping/fevering/sucking germs are being shoven up our throats and honestly, we really don't want to go there with you. While maybe your sickness is not that bad, think of the rest of us. It's one thing to have one person sick, another to get us all sick because you didn't feel like staying home and watching Little House on the Prairie. Stay home. Go to work when all the bacteria has gone, ok?

6) The last and most important bullshit reason to go to work sick: you honestly think that this is the perfect way to prove how dedicated you are to the agency, therefore making your Boss notice how cool you are = WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Your boss won't give a shit! You can do all the greatest work ever and trust me, fuck up just once and it'll make no difference how many days you came in sick! Don't believe me? I went working 9 years in an agency and I honestly could count the sick days with both my hands... and it didn't make any difference. You are regarded the same as that 50 year old hypochondriac graphic artist at your agency (why do we all have one where we work?) who goes on monthly sick days. Your boss will not give you a medal, boys and girls. It's a fact.

So there you go. Feel like crap, stay in bed. Find a balance. Get healthy and then go to work. Your body is more important than any header or logo, full page ad or tv spot. And there is no one who can tell you different.

Here's to hoping that you take care of yourself like you should, Me.

2 comments:

adchick said...

OOOKKKKKAAAY. But I have three more interviews to get in the can today, and it IS Friday, and I OWN the fucking place...so I have to go with this annoying little head cold. I'll stay in bed all day tomorrow. Promise. And with several Toddys.

Joker said...

Lol, very good Madame Chick. But remember, you own the place so the rules change some :D

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