Jun 23, 2010

I hate Twilight. Really.

Dear Readers: I started this post a couple of months ago and never got to finish it. Tonight, the idiot Twihards have given me reason to take my time and end this post... with a bang. Enjoy.

Part 1: When I started the post, I stumbled upon this gem:

After watching this amazing clip of video, I decided to express my disgust of the most disturbing "fad" right now around the world. The Twilight Saga.

I cannot remember the last time one movie made me so angry that I watched it. Reasons? Many. I was angry that I wasted my time. I was angry that I chose that movie and not ANY other film from Netflix, so I wasted days until something decent came back. I was angry that I had even wasted gasoline driving to my UPS store so I could mail it back...

I thought all those times that I've gone to Comic Conventions. Then I got even more angry. Twilight fans are the worst. They get in line for hours, not wanting to see anything else BUT Twilight related shit. Ask the San Diego Comic Con fans about them and you will get a rant about how much they annoy people in general and how they have affected attendance in some way.

But. Most of all, angry at the fact that I know that many young women are eating this crap up. So, to all the parents out there that are letting young kids watch this turd of a movie, let's give you the basics.

Girl moves to Dad town. Girl meets creepy white guy in school. Creepy white guy is a douche. Girl insists on knowing such douche. Douche gets interested. Other Mullet wearing dude likes girl. Creepy white guy turns to be a "vampire". Girl has no problem. Vampire will not bite girl. Girl gets in trouble, vampire douche saves her. End of boring story.

Insert in that really basic plot as much cliche moments, really stupid lines and amazingly bad acting.

Yeah, sure. Bad acting happens every day, right? We've all seen bad movies! Sure, you got a point. But this movie is not only really bad for you and your grey cells. Twilight teaches women to be absolute wimps! While some people will think that it's about romance, I call bullshit. Not so.

This movie has a main character who at one point in the movie said that living without her high school sweetheart is not an option. Yeah. Go ahead and kill yourself if the one you love can't be with you. Great! Can you make a franchise of tshirts, dvd's, books and other crap things to really get the message home? Thank you. Teach young women that they NEED to depend on men. That losing the one you love is unthinkable. LOVELY.

While your kids tell you that it's just a romantic movie, it's not. The characters are creepy in a not so cool way. There's one thing when it's chick flick romantic, there's another thing when young lovers are portrayed this way. There's a sort of obsession that is not healthy for teenagers. At that age, you don't know shit about love. Fuck! I know people in their thirties who still don't know squat about a healthy relationship!

The actors are awful. Just... Bad. Overacted. Creepy. Sad. The story makes absolutely no sense and is a total waste of time, even if you are thirteen years old. The thing that baffles me is the fact that people from all ages are eating this crap up. I went to my dermatologist the other day and one of the nurses, who has to be like 45 years old, was ranting about Team Jacob. I almost walked off and found myself a new doc.

Look. I sat down and watched it completely. I was thinking that it had to be good, because I could not believe that thousands of people are nuts for this without a reason... Well, I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me?

Part two: Today I saw this.

And this gets me even more riled up. Adults. Are. Camping. For. 3. Days. To see this crap! Really? Come on, human beings all around the world! WHAT IS GOING ON!? This cannot be the movie of a generation! Vampires? Shirtless dudes that turn to wolves?

WTF is going on??????


Ad Chick said...

They should be making themselves useful, like helping clean up the oil spill mess. I never watched Twilight...it looked stupid from the get-go.

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