Tales from the Client Side: The Pin

When you work at an agency, you're asked to do some ridiculous things like work Saturdays And Sundays, work late, work through lunch and pretty much anything related to working for free. Often times we put up with this because we swear it's worth it, even though it obviously isn't. The funny thing is that you're asked to work for peanuts... you're not asked to be part of your company's branding...

Cue the new job.

A year and seven months into the gig, I've some pretty crazy things. First off, if you think agency love is anything to write about, then the disturbing rate of corporate incest in our corporate family is corporately appaling. I'm talking about fucking... and a lot of it. Married people, single people, people on the rebound, people who just need to get laid and of course, the catfish fuckers who will screw anything with a pulse and anything that can pass for a nipple. But that's a whole other post.

I could also delve into the out of the box requests that result in in-the-box solutions, but that's not what this post is about either.

This post is about forced branding. Forced branding? What's that you may ask.

Well the easiest way to explain it is cattle branding... They don't have a choice. They just see some obnoxious prick with a red hot poker searing their flesh on their left side. Burning pieces of metal aside, that's pretty much what you might have to endure if you work at a company.

I do.

And if it was only the pin, then fine... I'd look like one of those sad little dolls that hand out at banks with a corporate pin and some shitty line emblazoned on the stuffed toy's shirt. But not, that's just the start.

When you turn on your computer? A company logo... don't worry, it'll always be there so you don't have to go through the trouble of finding something that might actually motivate you.

Ok so you got the pin and you got the wall paper, what else you ask, swearing it's over. But it isn't.

You are asked to wear shirts with the company logo to raise awareness. You are given two stickers to place on your bumper and maybe even your guitar case, because that obviously inspires you. You get mugs, you get cups, you get vests, pencils, pens, sticky notes, notepads and you are constantly reminded of the pin.

Most days you don't mind it. However, some days feel as if you're a goddamn voodoo doll. The pin hurts your flesh even if it doesn't come into contact with your skin.

So what happens if you don't have it on? How about an email reminder, some generous finger wagging and the realization that you have been branded. You start seeing your company's name in your alphabet soup. You start associating similar shapes with the corporate logo and you realize your soul was once a proud ball of cheese; glorious, magnificent, downright magical and before long, a prick here, a pin there, a stick here and there and your so full of holes that you simply wonder what the point is... and then it dawns upon you... they (The Company) doesn't want you thinking about anything that isn't the company... because if a trend of thought permeates the entire company and people realize that they don't have to be at a job that doesn't satisfy them professionally, well let's just say that a whole lot of office space would free up... but alas... for now I meander on musings, dreams and give my best to try and make the most out of it.

Wanna know why?

Because for however retarded, stupid, innane and ridiculous a company can be... it still pails in comparison to the joke agencies I almost bled for. So to all of those who feel the itch to revolt, I invite you to do so. I invite you to resign at a critical moment... and you know why???

Well check the next post for a detailed reason.

Cheers